International Injustice of the Day: Snooki is arrested!!!!

I love Jersey Shore. It is my dirty little secret. And it's not a secret, at all. I just love it.

It's tacky, it's tasteless and the people are completely disgusting. All sorts of fantastic, and if I may, quite the ego boost. It's a good "hmm, maybe I'm not so bad/ugly/tacky/icky" show to watch.

Well today, one of my favourite characters got arrested! WHAT HORRIBLE injustice. What if she can't finish the season?

I'm devastated.

No one is quite sure why, at the moment, just that it was for disorderly conduct. That encompasses so many fun things.

We shall see!

Renee Zellweger gets Bradley Cooper?

Daily, I find this relationship difficult to swallow. I just don't see how Bradley Cooper can find this mess attractive. I mean, look at her!

Look at her hair! Is that not the haircut of a 7 year old boy? From 1983?

And her face! Why is she always scrunch-mouthed like that? Always pouty, and squinty. Maybe if she ever ate anything (the only things I've seen in her mouth in the past year is coffee and cigarettes) she would have healthier hair that didn't look like that.

Oh the horrors. I cannot believe that man would waste this hot on that creature. It just doesn't add up.

I'd prefer if he was gay. It would make more sense as to A) why I can't have him (aside from my spectacular marriage to a wonderful man) and B) how he could be with her.

Blech.

She looks like a pumpkin with that hair.

Blake Lively is hot...

I think my body might have been like that some time back in the 90's.

I never had those boobs, but I was really skinny and I think I could have pulled off this look then.

The boobs help though.

Why am I obsessed with her? She's SO booby, and SO leggy...it's captivating.

I like me some Blake Lively. She's a new girl crush. In this outfit. Not in her size-too-small-stuffed-into evening gowns, but this casual outfit, I'm liking.

Drew Carey Lost A Ton of Weight

And apparently the pudge was what made that bowtie and nerd glasses quirky, because I'm getting an Orville Redenbacher vibe now, no?

There's quite a bit of excess skin going on here and while he says he's going to get rid of some of it, he still just looks kind of aged and creepy now.

I don't know. I think I might be creeped out by this new Drew Carey. While I am always for people being healthier, and losing 80 lbs seems to be much better for his health, it's not better for my mental health. I'm selfish, that concerns me more.

Seriously, his old man vibe is giving me the creepolas.

Yikes.

Cameron Diaz looking not so fantastic

85% of the time, she hides it. And well. She can look downright gorge when she wants too, but sometimes that weirdo duck face, icky skin and skeezy hair all has a bad day at once and you see the real Cameron.

Hence:

First of all, I'm quite certain that is a top, and not a dress, so I really do require some slacks to be able to look at it. Ew. Imagine her greasy bacne sticking out from the back.

Her face is in dire need of some Bare Minerals or just a damn oil absorbing sheet. It seems to be wiping off on her hair right now and that is very gross.

She looks way too skinny, very suddenly and her lips are looking very duck-ish. Very, very duckish.

All in all, it's a terrible combination making her look unappealing to the max. I hate this picture. It is tainting my life.

Anna Kendrick edging it up...yuckily

I am not sure if 'yuckily' is a word, but I will bet it is more of a word than some of the other rude things i was thinking of.

I find this very "I'm-trying-to-be-Kristen-Stewart" and I don't appreciate the half-assedness of it. For reals. While I do find those shoes fabulous, I would never think to wear them with that dress.

And while the dress could be all sorts of fun (if it was made to more symmetrical at the bust), the shoes ruin it. I declare those should have been tall, shiny black strappy things. But chunky straps. Possibly with zippers. No?

Ugh, people are so wrong.

Megan Fox wearing similar to Transformers top

I hate that belly tops are back. Hate. Not (only) because I can't wear them anymore, but because they're so tacky. Ugh.

Here we see Megan Fox wearing a t-shirt of a creature that looks suspiciously like a Transformer while strutting around somewhere. Uh, you got fired. Don't wear a copycat.

I don't know why, but suddenly I find her very annoying.

Is Brooke Hogan preggo?

Um, maybe don't wear a short shirt and/or let it ride up like that. You look like you're with child. Like, 4 months with child.

When I first saw the picture I was convinced the people were reversed.

Now I see it.

Is there something wrong with me that I'm not comfortable walking around with body parts hanging out unless I deserve to hang said body parts?

This is not a deserving person to me.

Jessica Biel looks dumb in this

Unlike most other people, I for some reason like Jessica Biel. Not as an actress, or as Justin Timberlake's girlfriend, but as a woman with gorgeous lips, hair and a fantastic body. Up until recently, when she got really thin, I coveted her body. It was fantastic back in the day, for example this photo.

Also recently she has taken to saying really, really obnoxious things to the press. Like that she's too pretty to get roles. No honey (ha ha, so condescending), it's not that you're too pretty, it's that you're a terrible actress.

Anyhoo, here she is promoting the A-Team and she is wearing one of the ugliest, most misshapen dresses I've seen in a while. And I do very little work and look at pictures a lot, as I'm sure I've mentioned.

I mean, I love a one-shouldered dress, even though it's something my husband detests. I still think it's a nice look and it can be done very beautifully, despite the asymmetry.

This is not done well. That is one BIG ASS sleeve. And it's so uncalled for. Imagine it was just a one shouldered strap, how pretty would that be?

Ugh, some people are the worst.

Madonna holding a baggie of something...

Madonna seems like a pretty healthy person to me. To be fair, I don't mean that she's not overly healthy and has too little body fat, etc. She just seems like a natural product/macrobiotic/constant workout kind of person.

That's why I find it hard to believe that she would be holding a bag of coke or heroin, though the package is suspect. I bet you anything it's a couple of vitamins, or a scoop of some kind of protein or greens powder before it's illicit drugs.

But odd, nonetheless.

What do you think?

poll by twiigs.com

'Buried' makes me scared, already.

I hadn't heard of this until yesterday when I saw it on LaineyGossip.com

I am mildly clausterphobic. It really freaks me out to get stuck in stuff. Have you ever tried to get a non-stretch top of over your head and gotten stuck? That happened to me once and I panicked so much that I ended up falling down the stairs because I was freaking out so much. Maybe it's more than mild.

Anyhoo, watching this trailer for 'Buried' makes me itchy and panicky...and they only show pictures of him in the coffin. Yikes. I am not sure I would be able to go see this:

Britney's Nasty Ass Weave gives me nightmares

I didn't want to post this picture, because really, when I look at it, it makes me think of a frightening under sea creature, or a microscope picture of bacteria or something.

Ick.

But I need to, because Ken Paves put out comments about it and made some allusion to her assistant (behind her) not being a good friend because she didn't tell her.

This, from the man who lets Jessica Simpson walk around looking the way she does...often. No necked, or bedecked in high waisted mom jeans or a romper that is giving her wicked camel toe. Come on man.

Ugh, seriously, I can't sleep after looking at this.

Blake Lively went to Comic Con, many nerds exploded

Some clothes are for women. Some are for men. Most things in high fashion are not for men...I mean, think about it - do men really like jumpsuits, rompers, harem pants, strong shoulders? No, in fact, for the most part, I'm sure they hate it. I have read articles stating exactly that.

Blakey here, went to comic con. And while she wore a jumpsuit, she did whip out the boobs, so she pleased everyone, when you think of it.

The jumpsuit is heinous though, it's very ugly. And I have a weakness for all things jumpsuit.

John Hamm's Chunk...or a chunk of Hamm

Sometimes I find myself REALLY funny. Ok, often.

Anyhoo, I was perusing the internet today and stumbled upon this photo and I was shocked to see what appeared to be a tiny ham hock (I'm riding this joke) peeking down John's trousers. For realsies.

I even asked my husband, as a chunk owner, if he could confirm and he said yes, it was in fact chunk!

John Hamm! How rude!

But millions of women everywhere thank you.

Ashley Greene's shoulder strap

I'm kind of a stickler for details. Which is kind of surprising because my old age has made me lazier than I expected to get. But anyway, I figure this girl has, what? At least $250k as a salary?

She can't find a stylist to tuck a hanger strap in, or cut the frigging thing off?

Also, I am not so much with the eyesight, being old (bear with me, I'm turning a significant age tomorrow and am suddenly having trouble dealing with it)...can anyone read what brand it is?

She has a really cute nose.

Uhh, where is JWoww's belly button?

I know I'm not the first person to notice this, but it is the first time I'm actually seeing it and it's creeping me out. No?

Ew!

Most Glamorous Dress Ever!

GLAMOR!

It's not easy to achieve, and every woman wants it.

I guess you need to be from the cast of 'Sweet Valley High' because this girl, Brittany Daniel is achieving it.

Ok, obviously I'm joking. This is one of the worst, sluttiest things I've ever seen, and I spend my days barely working and just looking at stuff. Not to mention the evenings where I spend hours pouring over the internet.

I have yet to see anyone wear a gown made of bathing suit material with cut outs EVERYWHERE.

I mean, kudos on the body, you look hot, but damn that dress is ridiculous.

Lindsay Lohan Goes to Jail

So, she went to jail. Pretty fun. The judge wouldn't allow cameras in the courtroom, but before they had to stop filming there was some talk about not having to complete jail if she did rehab and also doubt that she'd spend the whole time.

The same old overcrowding crap that came out when Paris Hilton went to jail...

We'll see what happens, but many are saying they don't think she'll stay more than a day or so.

Courtney Cox admits to Botox!

FINALLY. I mean, also, who did she think she was fooling by denying it?

From this month's InStyle:
"Aging gracefully is one thing, but trying to slow it down is another. Sometimes I use Botox. Compared to most, I use it very sparingly. One time I did too much, though. I feel weird if I can't move my face, and that one time I overdid it, I felt trapped in my own skin. I don't have a problem with any of that stuff; if it makes you feel better about yourself and it's done properly, then fine."

Now, if she would only admit to the crazy lip injections she so obviously has... but I guess the fact that she said that she has no problem with any of it is basically an admission. I'm taking it for that.

Even when I took that mag out of the mailbox the other day I was like, 'come on woman! that upper lip is not normal, nor has it been there your whole life!'

CONFIRMED!

Jerks try to extort John Stamos, suck at it

So this week, the story came out that John Stamos had tried to get nasty with a 17-year old last year.

The story was that he asked her to his hotel room, called some strippers and asked them to deliver him some coke, did the coke with the underage slut and then asked to go down on her. She refused and he got mad and broke the bed post.

The accuser (and her friend) claimed they had emails from John flirting with her after the fact and pictures of them the night of the coke/going down thingy.

John vehemently denied everything and even called the FBI because he felt he was being extorted...in court this week the idiots mentioned the photos and then couldn't materialize them...or the emails. Now they've been charged and are facing jail time because they tried to extort +$600k from uncle Jesse from 'Full House'.

Jerks! Karma is a bitch. Don't F with uncle Jesse. He's the coolest.

Lindsay Lohan trying out rehab...to avoid jail

So Lindsay Lohan hired OJ's lawyer, Robert Shapiro. Apparently he isn't going to appeal the judges sentence, just try to convince her that Lindsay should go to rehab first and only.

They're adhering so much to this plan that Lindsay even entered a 'sober living' house in LA yesterday, to spend her last 6 days before she's supposed to go to jail. Samantha Ronson, Dina and Ali visited her there yesterday, as well as dozens of paparazzi. The poor other people in that place.

Now, if she is clean, like she and her family keep saying she is, this shouldn't be too tough, and will hopefully entice the judge to let her stay there and not send her to jail.

I think the biggest thing is still the fact that even if she is clean from street drugs, she's still on a ton of prescription drugs which shouldn't be allowed in rehab, right? Or ok because they're prescriptions? Like, they wouldn't take someone off heart medication because they're in rehab, so if someone can say she needs those drugs, will she be allowed them? If so, rehab is a joke, because she's on 2 amphetamines which she's probably putting up her nose.

Wow, I need a life.

Here is a super boring video of her going in and people visiting.

The Rock is on the juice again...?

I'm sure a lot of you don't know this, and please consider yourself lucky for not knowing the in depth history of the WWE, but when Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson originally was coming up in the WWE he took steroids.

This is speculation, but the general consensus among those who know in the industry is that the WWE encourages their wrestlers to do what they must to be the best, even supplying them with what they need to do so. No holds barred!

So, when The Rock took the 'roids, he developed bitch tits - which is a common side effect, and for a long while wore a t-shirt to hide them and then to hide the surgery scars when he had them drained. After that, he became a star.

News is that he's starring in the upcoming sequel (they're still making these???) to 'Fast and the Furious', 'Fast Five' or some crap title. There were pictures released this week of him and Vin Diesel coming out of the same hotel. Ugh, Vin Diesel.

Anyhoo, Rock looks REALLY big. Like, silly big, and it looks to me like he's peaking a little in the booby area, no? I can make the following assumption:

• He is either back on the juice for this crap movie and his bitch tits are growing back
  

OR

• He is trying to attract Snooki by being a muscled-up juice head.
  

I'm going with option 1.

You?

The Case of Jessica Simpson's Missing Neck

I like Jessica Simpson. I feel like she's one of those rare celebrities who doesn't have a publicist living up her bum and who isn't a puppet of the regime, you know? She seems genuine. Genuinely stupid, genuinely struggling with her weight, genuinely living out awkward relationships in the public eye. I don't know, there's something to her that makes me think she's real.

There is also a huge part of me that pities her like crazy though, because not having the publicist up your bum and only having your family as your friends seems to bite her in the ass sometimes. I mean, she dresses poorly, makes dumb decisions and just seems generally out of it.

For example, she wore this dress the other day, and while she doesn't look terrible, her breasts are so incredibly overwhelming that her neck disappears. It's nuts. It genuinely disappears into her head/breast merge. And this isn't the first time recently.

I just feel like she needs a girlfriend, you know? Someone to coach her and be honest with her, because I think she's kind of screwed in her personal relationships.

Jess - call me. I'd be a good assistant and a good friend.

Audrina Partridge's really frightening surfing photo

I don't know why this week, but I have picked up all awkward moments in time, they're all freaky moments in someone's life who is normally basically attractive. It's not good.

Here's a picture of Audrina Partridge surfing on a recent trip to Costa Rica for one of the last episodes of The Hills. It was an awkward episode. Shut up. I don't know why I watch it. I just sort of started and now I can't stop. But I am proud to say that I have only watched this last season.

Anyway, those implants aren't looking super natural there. And she looks really scary skinny. One thing I've noticed is that those girls go out to restaurants a lot and I've yet to see them eat anything. I guess that's why she's so skinny. They always have a sparkling water though...

Ick. I'm hungry just looking at her.

Jessica Alba looks clammy

Jessica Alba is on some strange publicity tour lately. I am not sure what she's promoting, because I haven't heard of her being in anything, but she sure looks a bit off, no?

She looks really thin, which is not awesome, but also, her make-up is really awful here. It's too pale and she's obviously overheating because there's a major clammy sweat factor going on. It's not good.

Yeesh. Not her best photo ever.

Um, Maria Shriver frightens me. And probably most small children.

I'm not saying people shouldn't leave their homes without make-up, though I never do. I'm also not saying that this woman is ugly, though I have at the most only ever thought of her as a handsome woman, never pretty, but DAMN WOMAN! This is one UNflattering picture.

I can't believe how scary she looks! It's really, REALLY disturbing!

I mean, I get that it's a split second caught on film, because I'm sure we've all had a picture where we look really awful, but I have never looked like a skeleton in a white blouse with a little bit of flesh and possibly the fat of newborn babies pumped into my cheeks.

So scary.

Lindsay Lohan making excuses...SHOCKING

For real, is anyone shocked by this twit's actions anymore?

As always, she can't take responsibility for her actions and when she had 'f-ck u' painted on her middle finger in court the other day, for which she's taking a lot of heat now - possible new charges of contempt of court - she had an excuse ready to plaster on Twitter:


She also posted about 6 posts in a row about human rights and about stonings in the middle east. Yah, because that is the same as getting drunk and high and driving, getting in an accident, not being repentant, not going to one alcohol education class a week, etc, etc etc.

So deluded, so in denial of being responsible for any of her actions.

Moron.

In other news, it's being reported that she's on so many prescription drugs (allowed with her SCRAM bracelet) that she's definitely maintaining some kind of addiction to substances while not drinking: Zoloft (antidepressant), Trazodone (antidepressant), Adderall (stimulant to control ADHD), Nexium (acid reflux) and the extremely powerful painkiller Dilaudid, prescribed for her wisdom teeth - uh, I got Codeine, how the hell do I get her doctors?

Seriously, I'm sure that's enough to keep her high and floaty 24/7, who needs booze?

She's on so much stuff that people say if she did drink in excess, she might die of an overdose anyway. Here is the probation officer's report.

The next 2 weeks should be VERY interesting.

Lindsay Lohan in court...enjoy

Unfortunately TMZ's server is crash tastic and I can't embed, but I encourage you to follow the links and watch these videos, because it's really a spectacular viewing:

Lindsay's plea to the court:
Go to TMZ

As the sentence is read:
Go to TMZ

Lindsay Lohan is going to JAIL

FANTASTIC!

Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days in jail starting July 20th! It's like the best birthday present for me ever!

Turns out though, as Michael Lohan's lawyer is saying now, that she will have to go to rehab immediately after jail. They're saying right now that if she goes to rehab NOW she may be able to avoid jail.

Either way. Best picture ever.

Lawyer just made a really good point saying that as stupid as Michael Lohan is, he's never taken her out partying like her mother, Dina.

Cosmo is the most retarded magazine AND employ worst Photoshoppers in industry - see Britney Spears' head.

You know that thing about magazines how they're almost never actually relevant to the market to which they market themselves? For example, I read Seventeen when I was 13 and 14. By the time I was 17, I thought it was retarded. Cosmopolitan, is a TERRIBLE magazine. I am cosmopolitan and I hate it. Ok, that's a less good example, but still, you get my point.

So I saw this ridiculous picture of Britney Spears obviously Photoshopped-on head and thought I would go to the site to steal it from the actual publisher, and not some poor other Blogger who's struggling like me. Looking for the photo, I fall upon this TOTALLY ridiculous quiz:

Like, really? Isn't this magazine meant to be for WOMEN? I get that adult women think that Robert Pattinson is hot, and I myself have read the books, just because of the social phenomenon attached, but REALLY? Aren't there more pressing issues in the world of Cosmo other than where Edward sleeps (PS - The answer is C, he doesn't sleep - DUH)

So anyhoo, back to this picture of Britney. Like, REALLY? This is, like, barely trying. This is worse than when I jokingly put my friends' heads on top of animal's bodies or something. This is ridiculous.

Cosmo and Hearst, you should be REALLY embarrassed.

Lindsay Lohan celebrated her birthday, got punched in the face. FANTASTIC.

Nothing makes my weekend like people getting punched in the face or other Parasites getting arrested in South Africa for smoking pot at the World Cup. Dumbass.

But back to the original story. So Lindsay, was out celebrating her 24th birthday with her Scram bracelet and some douchey dudes and their waitress, who formerly dated Ryan Seacrest and one of the douchey dudes got all cranky because the dude wasn't interested in her and punched Lindsay in the face.

Isn't that great? Made my day, I tell you.

Here are some pics:

Lindsay post-punch, leaving the club where she got punched. I feel like there's a mascara stain down her left cheek like she either cried or her eye watered. Do you see it?

This is her twitter right after it happened. Awesome. I woke up to that yesterday.
And this is the waitress, who once dated Ryan Seacrest and who was obviously really cranky. Although I'll never understand why women get mad at the girls...it's the guy who is being a douche.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Now if only some pictures would surface of Parasite Hilton getting arrested in South Africa...

F-d up Fashion Moments: Starring Fergie, Kelly Rowland and some chick named Cassie

Fergie:
So this dress is ok, but the folds aren't doing anything good for her, and her boobs are really jammed up in there.

Also, I get that it's sunny, but you can't take off those Miss Piggy sunglasses?

Kelly Rowland:
Um, Kelly. Not clothes. Get back in the hotel and put a top on because a leather corset and a bikini top is not appropriate. In other news, I am into this loose-to-skinny khakis look that's going on.


Cassie:
Who is this? And why is she wearing this entire hot mess? Really, it's horrific. The shoes are disgusting, too many horizontal lines to be flattering. SATIN PANTS? Gahh. Imagine the bum sweat?

And I feel really bad for that poor bird she is carrying around like a trophy. When birds fly into your window, don't bring them to industry events as a tote, let the neighbourhood cat get rid of it for you.

I don't even want to talk about the napkin she's wearing as a top. WTF?

Britney looking a little frightening

I'm no one and I don't leave the house like this. What kind of mental state do you have to be in to be willing to leave your house like this? It's ridiculous.

Her ass is hanging out of those tiny boy's boxer shorts, her weave is a disgusting mess and she's got a little crazy in her eyes.

Those knee socks will give me nightmares, I'm sure. They're so heinous.

Does Britney need help again?