Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Whoops. Wrote the whole post in the title.
Ugh. This buyer I have to suck up to does that with his emails. It makes me want to kick him in the throat. But I also want his orders so my colleagues and I can have salaries and cars, so....
Anyhoo, these pictures are really an excuse to tell a really lovely story about Zach Galifianakis and this homeless lady he met while he was a nobody.
He met her in Los Angeles 20 years ago. Homeless, she used to spend time at the laundromat he did his laundry at and help out for tips.
Zach started making money soon after that and immediately rented her an apartment in Santa Monica, which he still pays to this day. He even recruited some other friends who helped contribute to decorate her place and make sure her fridge is full of groceries.
And now he brings her to premieres whenever they are in Los Angeles. How cute is that? For years people thought it was his grandmother, but it turns out instead that it's this heartwarming story.
Should we be superficial now to wash the niceness off?
Look at Heather Graham's Face! I need her skin care regimen, although it seems to be not going in the sun, and honestly, eff that. Who am I? Gwen Stefani? I look healthier with a tan!
Look how Bradley Cooper dressed! He looks like a ninny! A NINNY I SAY!
He obviously combed out his perm.
Monday, May 20, 2013
This red carpet made me hate sheer.
Ugh. So many old people.
This outfit, from the Dorothy Zbornak collection, is really not ok. Why is she still invited to things? Oh my god, those pants are really giving me a stroke.
Again, relevancy? 'The Hills' has been over for years. I'm a little annoyed that I like her skirt. Therefore, I hate her.
Yet another reason why I am starting to hate sheer. I really want to be nice to her because she is Canadian, but this dress is really horrific. Is the skirt also sheer? I feel like I can see her thighs through it. OMG. So scary.
She looks pretty old, right? Maybe it's the dress, but I feel like she looks like she's mother of the groom or something.
Then there's this one. She's 15 or something and constantly trying to look way older. I don't like this dress....it looks like she's stuffed into it. I bet you anything she gets a rash under her arm and she has that belt line in her stomach after she takes it off.
Also, doesn't it look a little thick and warm for end of May in Vegas?
Overdressed much? It's not the Oscar's tool. It's the Billboard awards. You're not even nominated for anything. How about a mini skirt?
She's overdressed too, but at least this is normal ish and respectable. Plus, hopefully it makes her look taller next to her giant fiancé.
WTF? What made her want to wear this? At first I thought these were sheer culottes and I was really scared. And now it's not culottes, but she's standing so wide legged just to show that it's sheer and that her thighs don't touch. Wow.
We get it, you're hot. You have an adolescent son whose friends think you're hot. It doesn't mean you need to show up at things with ripped skirts and your stomach hanging out. I really wish she was still with Jim Carrey, I feel like that was a good time for her.
This, not so much.
This outfit is so her, it's perfect. What's happening to the side of his face? It looks like it's dented. Oy. She needs to dump him.
Awww, no honey. You're not really pretty or hot enough to wear this outfit. Also, those sandals are really not ok.
Lady, PUT SOME PANTS ON.
Last week I was out with my ladies and one of them brought up that we should bring back stonings. I agree. Can we please stone Miley Cyrus first?
THAT IS A PANTSUIT MADE OF CHESS BOARD AND CROCHET! OMFG.
Meh. That's a lot more boob than I'm used to seeing from her, and it's so extreme that it make the straps look like they're in the wrong place.
Positive note? Her hair looks great.
I'm not sure about this. I think it could have been really elegant without the neon, but neon is hot now...and I like neon. But the dress looks like something Judy Jetson would have worn to a formal event where George would have been embarrassed about under-achieving.
Fine. You wore color. As it turns out, I was wrong, you trying out color doesn't make you more likeable.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Look, I know you guys are getting annoyed with my obsession with Arrested Development, but the media campaign leading up to this is so amazing that I can barely stand it. If only they had pushed this show this hard when it was initially aired. It would still be on.
The newest, most exciting thing? Insert Me Anywhere, by Tobias Fünke: http://insertmeanywhere.biz/#/home
In an effort to increase his popularity amongst casting agents around the world, Tobias is letting us use him for free.
It's really amazing.
This is the best one, because I'm also currently obsessed with this song:
Monday, May 13, 2013
Thursday, May 09, 2013
Sorry for the delay kids! I was stuck in NYC (boo hoo for me) and working stupid hard. Jerk work. Just kidding, I love my job.
Ok, there are almost 40 people worth talking about. Shall we?
So, the theme was PUNK...some got it, some didn't. Some didn't even really try. I would have loved to be on the red carpet and ask people what about their outfit was punk...or pink, in Gwyneth Paltrow's case. Ugh.
She's one of the ones I am not sure got the memo...While I love this dress...she didn't really hit the mark for punk.
She just "came out" as Johnny Depp's girlfriend...a long time after everyone rumored the relationship. Apparently it was out of respect for Vanessa and the kids. That's nice. Except everyone knew. Come on.
The dress is nice. Again, not super punk, but nice.
She doesn't care what you think. So there.
Ugh. She does. And it makes her look even stupider than you thought. Yes, we saw this last year when Jessica Chastain wore it to the Oscars. Original.
Ahhh, WHY? What is wrong with them? Also, what is punk about a mu mu?
As co-chair of the event, I expected more. But she does look amazing. She said she couldn't breathe. Does that mean she couldn't say "beautiful" and "amazing"? She loves those words.
There is so much gossip about this one lately. Basically everyone is saying that Ryan Reynolds is controlling and doesn't let her do anything. Apparently he makes her work out with him all the time and doesn't let her dress as slutty as she used to.
She looks great though. Whatever.
What is going on with her hair?
Stella McCartney looks great but CD looks kind of looks like a weird south American woman who over-dyes her hair. Ew.
Turban turban rah rah rah!
Her face = my reaction.
The back of her dress was shockingly nude. She's growing up. Sniff.
Don't her legs looks awkward and uncomfortable? Is THAT how they're normally standing under their long dresses?
She looks amazing.
I have nothing. Just WHY?
Why those eyebrows? Why so pixie-ish? Just why?!?
This woman is a blessing to our eyeballs. Amazing.
I die for her tan and her for her shoes.
This was a custom Maison Martin Margiela..I'm assuming by "custom" they mean that THEY tied it to her right before she left?
This doesn't exactly look highly designed.
Oy. Her hair.
No dummy, pUnk. Not PINK.
Pretty. But not punk.
I like the belt? And her skin?
She brought the boy with her. I don't want you to have to see that. Or her genitals. So I cropped this picture.
Her hair looked amazing.
Gorgeous. Annoyingly gorgeous.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I really like this.
Single JH is my favourite JH. She's such a bag of fun. And it was announced this week that Nina Dobrev, her bestie, is single now too. I'm kind of excited. This might be the summer of slutty craziness.
I don't have the head to toe, because I was downloading these for the jewelry for my job, but god damn she is beautiful.
Toilet paper ghost?
Vera Wang. VERA WANG? Really?
Please send me those gloves, they're amazing. But throw out the dress. It's terrible.
So terrible. So not the best choice for her. She's not wearing the pregnancy apparel situation very well.
She showed up AFTER Beyonce and then was a super diva pulling this act all the way up.
Madam? Put your pants on!
I've never wanted to see less of someone's boobs more than right now. Why is she the worst SO much?
In other news, her necklace is GREAT.
Again, it was for my work.
Her necklace is great though. Guess which one I mean.
Why am I so into those shoes? And her hair?
It's just that I want to cut off her head SO much. Because, without her head, she is so great. She has a great little body, she has a great dress on and her jewelry is amazing.
It's just her squirrel face. Yah, "just". Oy.
This makes me sad.
This makes me sadder. I need to be assured that her hair is temporary.
Slutty Summer '13 ALERT!!!
This is her debut outfit.
I love this, but not for this event.
This girl is SO clued out to reality.
Someone asked her if she had a lot of help getting ready, and due to the fact that she has spent her life being rich, she said, "No, 4 people. Not a lot."
Great dress, though.
Like, amazing, but crazy.
Imagine how effing heavy that jacket must be?
Doesn't make me want it less
She looks great. I kind of hate the shoes though. Where is Jorge?
Best. She. Has. Ever. Looked. AMAZING.