Getty Images

Ok, so I was perusing Getty Images the other day and I happened upon the above photo on the index page. What the fuck is this? Is this Winnie the Pooh in drag? Is this what the chick they're replacing Christopher Robin with is going to look like? What is this? Someone, for the love of god, please explain this to me.

It's just like when I went to the Gugenheim and there was this exhibit of a flourescent light on a 37° angle. What? That is not fucking art, that is a mockery of art.

I'm going to go eat more stuffing.

Foundation as lipstick

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????????????????????????

Why does this happen? WHO thinks this looks good? I don't care how avant-garde this make-up artist is trying to be, this NEVER looks good. God, not to mention the fact that Tara Reid is really not attractive.

Bleh.

Pic Source [HollywoodRag]

He ISN'T gay?

This is Ricky Martin and his "brother" doing some exercise on the beach.

Look, I don't know how long I can pretend to believe that this guy is straight. What is his issue? Women will still think he's hot if he's a mo. Look at George Michael, Ian McKellan, KD Lang (hee hee)...

Anyway, I think this is how you say "Merry Christmas" in Ricky Martin's home town.
[Pic Source: JustJared]

Britney Baby-weight Spears-Federline

Lookin' like a heffer...

Hope you're out buying some cruising outfits...

Get on the treadmill Brit, your husband is no good, you need to get hot and latch on to Nick Lachey.

[Pic Source: HollywoodRag]

Where is this bitch's upper lip?

I never noticed how much of an unlip this woman has. Seriously. That's weird.

Yes, one might say we should commend her for not getting collagen like every other slut out there, but I am not that person. Everything else on her body is fake, her boobs look like cantaloupes. Why not gimme a little pout?

And since when did they have kids? I know they're broken up, but what the hell? I used to love that guy (David Charvet) on Baywatch when it was cool to watch Baywatch (when was that?). I'm a little nostalgic-jealous at the unlipper.

Say it with me kids: Col-a-gen PLEASE!

[Pic Source: HollywoodRag]

A Family Christmas!

Just thought that you might want an inside view of my family's Christmas:

Sometimes my uncle gets a little silly and takes out the guitar, we dread it every year. He always wants to sing Air Supply.

This year it got worse. My uncle bought my aunt a drum set for Christmas, now she thinks she's Phil Collins, or even worse, Lars from Metallica.

My grandfather got totally pissed. He totally hit me after I took this picture.

This is him 2 hours later, after several cocktails, telling my uncle to shut the fuck up. After this he broke my camera. I was able to salvage the memory card.

Pants tucked into boots

IF PEOPLE DO NOT STOP DOING THIS I AM GOING TO GO ON A MURDEROUS RAMPAGE!!!

Neigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This bitch gets on my nerves. Why the shit is she famous? Oh yah, cause her horse-toothed sister is a teen queen.

Her likeness to Sarah Jessica Parker annoys me. All she needs is a Halloween mole on her face and she's Carrie (aka My Little Pony Parker - MK, you rock).

Are we supposed to look at this picture and pretend she's not ugle because her hair is windblown and her boobs are out?

Neigh! I will not accept her simply because she's taken out her tata's

Ugly ho(rse)!

This is your face on Tom Cruise

Ahh, remember back in the day when Dawson and Joey were fighting the fact that they loved each other? They would speak in run-on sentences full of words no other teenager in America would know...as if they ran the script through the Microsoft Word thesaurus before printing?

I never understood the appeal of Katie Holmes (or Kate, as Tom would prefer you call her). I even remember the drunken tape of her flashing her boobs and I still didn't get it.

I figured she had a girl-next-door kind of appeal, but I, personally, couldn't get over her stroke-mouth and lazy eye. Also, she really annoyed me in 'Go'.

In retrospect, now that I see what TC has done to her, she was cute. Was.

It's like that adored 80's anti-drug ad, "This is your brain (show egg), this is your brain on drugs (crack egg into frying pan, or similar)"

Katie: THIS WAS YOUR FACE (see above), THIS IS YOUR FACE ON TOM CRUISE!!!! Please run as fast as you can away from that couch-jumping, cheesy proposal making, scientology freak!

B with an ARF

Is it just me or does this picture totally make you want to throw up? I don't think there is anything this girl can do to make me ever think she is attractive. She's so fucking greasy and gross.

Gah, I am totally going to puke

Team Lachey

If there was a TEAM LACHEY shirt from Kitson, I would buy it.

It seems that Jessica Simpson got miraculously hideous the MOMENT they announced their divorce. Gotta say, bitch is hot. She has a KILLER body, normally magnificent hair and a normally nice face.

If she's going to be out and about trying to fuck everything that walks, she should try harder to NOT look like her father in drag. Hey, wait a sec...maybe it is Joe in drag.

Seriously though, what the shit is with her fucking face on this night?

TEAM LACHEY

The Muffy - Eyeliner as lipliner

We heard this week that Eminem will be getting back together with his ex-wife/mother-of-his-child/gross whore.

Now, can we please discuss this bitch's lipliner? When I was in high school there was this girl who used to wear brown eyeliner as lip liner, we called that look 'The Muffy.' Every picture I've ever seen of this woman, she's wearing this atrocious lip liner.

Kudos for multi-tasking your make-up routine by using one pencil for several parts of your face, but you look like a dirty skank. She's with/married/divorced from/reuniting with one of the most successful artists in Hip Hop, bitch couldn't hit a Bobbi Brown and get some tips? Fuck. So gross.

The Muffy

I am jealous of my sister and I have gross hair!

Why would anyone intentionally do their hair like this? B/c of my layers, my curly hair sometimes does do this, but I FIX IT before I leave the house.

I call it the 'Cocker Spaniel'

To give her credit though, her face doesn't look that horrid. But she is spackled w/ make-up

Someone's face is looking haggard

Wow, holy drug ravaged face Batman!

No wonder she cancelled on Regis & Kelly.

It's not normal to look this horrible when you're 19, this is obviously from excessive drug use.

It's really not good.

[Pic source: Egotastic]

Things that make you go HMMM - part 2

Ho!
Ho!
Ho!

Way
to
look
like
a
moron,
Mariah.

Why, oh why?

There are times when I am thankful that fashion is cyclical. For instance, I bought some wedge shoes several years ago and refused to throw them out. Low and behold, they came back into fashion this year. Yipee!

BUT, I do object to certain trends returning: leg warmers, bell bottoms, head bands, mock turtlenecks, vests, moon boots and especially leggings.

I work in the clothing industry, so we are well aware of the trends and what is going on. I was very depressed to hear that London is presently PACKED w/ leggings, mini skirts and hot shorts. I am saddened to learn that after I lived through it once in the early 90's, I will have to go through it again.

Here is an example of the abomination that is leggings:

They make me feel like popping in my Extreme 'More Than Words' tape and kissing my boyfriend in a treehouse for 10 seconds. Timed.

Oh, and for the LOVE OF GOD why are people still wearing white pants at this time of year?!?!?

Black Eyed Peas p'd off us Canadians...

Listen to this little tid bit from Canadian Gossip Goddess Lainey:

'I thought I would tell you the scoop on the drama surrounding the Black Eyed Peas' performance at Sunday's Grey Cup. Apparently the Peas are notoriously difficult to deal with, pulling diva stunts and producing riders that would make Usher blush.

Three days before the Grey Cup, the Peas called to say they would not be performing, as they had a busy schedule and this show was simply not a priority. Cue mad scramble, calls to managers, legal talk, etc., after which the Peas call to say fine, they will be coming after all, but they will be flying commercial and not by private jet, so there's no guarantees they will be able to make it there for showtime (kinda crucial considering what time showtime is in this scenario) since they have to deal with the airline's schedule. Cue more scrambling, calls to airlines, mad last-minute bookings, etc.

So the Peas arrived in Vancouver the night before the game, and then called from the hotel to say that Fergie was exhausted (read: Fergie has soiled the bottoms of all the outfits in wardrobe) and they will not be performing. After some final mad dashing around, and the ultimate presentation by the group of a brand-new rider (the featured item on which happened to be copious quantities of Cristal) the Peas were back on.

After, that is, using stand-ins to rehearse (primarily for blocking purposes with the stage, camera angles, etc.), and insisting on using back-up tracks (not wise in a stadium set-up, as Ashlee Simpson could probably tell you). I caught the performance on TV, and I can tell you, in terms of quality of performance they were certainly not worth the trouble. And you had to love the way Fergie's shorts were belted around the legs, and the belts kept riding up and squeezing her thighs into all kinds of interesting bulges, as well as giving her baggy bubble-butt. Oh well, at least they seemed to stay dry, which means in Fergie's mind it was probably a banner day indeed.'

Well, at least she didn't piss herself

Things that make you go HMMM

So, I was reading my favourite blog today, DListed (props MK, you sexy bitch), and I ran across this photo.

What the fuck does Tom Cruise think he's doing sending out THAT shitty movie for OSCAR consideration. Best actor! That's fucking rich! Fucking Tim Robbins deserves an award for not bludgeoning TC to death.

This man is an abomination, and his sham of a marriage/baby is even worse. Death to him. Stupid Xenu. Bleh.

The man is a god

He is so fucking hot. God. Damn.

KFed Grosses it up, hardcore

Seriously. This guy should have a website explaining how to be disgusting. He obviously has the chops.

How about a little Frizz-ease? Would that kill you?

[Source: JustJared]

Jessica Simpson Channels the 80's

Ha Ha! Is it just me or does this jacket totally remind you of 'Can't Buy Me Love', that wicked film from 1987?

Winnie Cooper - 2005 edition

Remember this bitch?

I hated her. My dad and I used to watch this show together and I always was so jealous of her. She was so mean to Kevin. All he wanted to do was love her and she was always playing with his heart, dating meat-heads and just being a generally uppity bitch.

Remember Madeline? "Voulez vous du beurre?" She was fucking hot. Kevin should have stuck with her instead of forever lusting after this frigid bitch.

I would have even preferred to have seen Kevin and Paul get together, but I'm sure that wouldn't have gone over well in that day and age. Nor would Wayne have let that pass. Dick. Let Kevin and Paul be the lovers they've always yearned to be.

Anyway, I happened to stumble upon some pics of Winnie Cooper (Danica McKellar) recently, and I find it strange how much she seems to not have changed at all. Except for the lady parts. Check out her face. It's weird.

Wow, I totally did not notice those hideous shoes at first glance. She should rethink those. Seriously.

Mimi is on Ellen

Mimi is on Ellen right now and she's looking large! To be honest, I'm actually happy that she isn't stick thin and perpetuating everything that is wrong with society right now, but she's trying to look thin. I wish she would embrace the fact that she is a beautiful, curvy woman.

Now, The second thing I noticed is that she totally has a moustache! It's all there and everything. Now, I'm no imagery genius, so I couldn't get one of her on Ellen right now, but I did get this picture from the other night and you can clearly see the shadow above her lip. It's kinda surprising considering she was an esthetician before she became a singer...

Anyway, enough Mimi bashing. She's hot. I'm glad that she heavier, but I wish she would stop sucking in her stuff. She's not fooling anyone and it just makes her look uncomfortable.

Matthew McConaughey IS the sexiest man alive

People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 2005

Although I have always thought so, it is now confirmed (by People magazine) that MM is in fact, the sexiest man alive. He's rugged, he's sexy and he makes a bathrobe look good.

He also makes me wish I could be a Soniccare toothbrush or newspaper in a next life. Or surf shorts...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Look at his sexy, gleaming teeth and tanned skin. God DAMN he is fine!

Mmm, the places I would put those hands...

Hot with the Hibachi. Mmm, I'd love to be around when he pitches a tent...

He rocks a pink shirt. WHAT A MAN!

In honour of him, ladies, let's go home and make love to our men.

When Fashion Goes Wrong

I will give this girl props up and down for her avant-garde style and her much-copied look, but this strapless cat suit ensemble is OUT OF CONTROL.

One thing I have preached, to anyone who will listen, recently is that not all fashion deserves to be cyclical. This goes for:

- LEG WARMERS
- PANTS SUITS
- LEGGINGS
- STIRRUP PANTS
- POWER JACKETS FOR LADIES
- TERRY HEADBANDS
- OVERALLS W/ BELTS
- MOON BOOTS

The list can potentially go on and on and on

Although I think Sienna Miller is hot like hot, I do not like what she is wearing and it does nothing for her but make her look like a tard...with wide hips and short legs...

Simpsons looking a little rough

Wow, Nick and Jess aren't looking so hot in this pic.

He looks completely horrible, like he just went to a 3-day rave and he's coming down hard off some crazy E and she looks like she applied her eyeliner with her feet.

Wow, if this is what a happy marriage looks like, I would prefer to be miserable.

Swoon!

Oh my god. He is so goddam hot.

Lindsay Lohan looks hot

I am totally loving her look here. I would, personally, remove the retarded 80's poser from my company, but she can make her own choices.

I must also mention that her skin is looking quite orange. If I can get a good fake tan in Montreal for $20...CANADIAN, why can't this bitch get a nice Mystic Tan or a frigging airbrush tan that doesn't make her look like a representative for Sunkist?

Love the blouse/vest combo (oh my god, I'm going to regret this sentence in 10 years), love the glasses, love the hair and love the super 70's jeans...

Love her. I'm so glad she's not piss blond anymore.

Poor Nicole

Poor Nicole Richie. One of her friends died.

Ok, now for the insensitive, mean part:
- Maybe she died b/c they had the same diet and the other one couldn't sustain herself on coffee and crystal meth
- Maybe she died when she saw Nicole in that top. At no point, in anyone's life or death, should that top EVER be worn. Whoever made it should die.
- Maybe it was her drug dealer and that's why she's crying.

Ok, now I feel bad. But that top is DAMN ugly

Jennifer Aniston is much too thin

I love this woman. I have loved her since 'the Rachel' and I think I may always love her. Her hair is fabulous, her boobs are fantastic (clothed, nude her nipples are kinda gross), her skin is gorgeous and she normally has an amazing body. But I will say this, she's too damn skinny here. It's gross.

Her left arm looks so sick in this photo, and although she has very nice legs, they are so veiny and tendony and scary.

I will always love you Jen, but please eat a sandwich or something

Lindsay Lohan's Belt is Retarded

This is joke, right? I love her, but this just looks silly

Cynthia Nixon's Girlfriend is Fugly

I have to admit that I have always thought that Cynthia Nixon was the least attractive member of the cast of Sex & The City, but I don't think that means that she should be forced to date this beast.

If not for the fact that she has enormous grandmother breasts, I would be sure that this is a very unattractive man with CN. Unless, it is a man, and he has the same condition that Bob from Fight Club had...

I bet Cynthia Nixon is saying to that guy, "No she is not the father of my child! Check out these huge hot tits!"

Things I love - part 6

Marky Mark:
Now, there is a condition to this thing that I love. Namely the fact that I only love him circa 1993, when he was bursting with muscles and hotness. I yearn for Marky Mark, not the current Mark Wahlberg of skanky facial hair and marriage. 1993 was the year he came out with his workout video, the CK ads and when he generally did not wear a shirt.

Hot. Please enjoy the rest of these pics: