The 2014 People Magazine Awards

I know, you're also thinking, "the what?". I have no idea. Since when do these exist?

Anyhoo, I guess most people won't say no to a free meal and an open bar (ahem, open bar). So here's who showed up:

Gwen Stefani:
When does she not look amazing. I need to know if she has a stylist or if she does this herself. She looks SO good. And did she do something to her face? Because she looks amazing. It's crazy. No one else could pull off this outfit, but here she is, rocking it. Hard.

Jennifer Aniston:
She was yanking at this skirt in almost every picture I saw of her. She won some award for best actress in CAKE, like she wasn't going to win. People is practically president of the Jennifer Aniston fan club.

She looks great as usual. Super jealous of her tan.

Jennifer Lopez:

Well. This is great. I mean, there is a weird thing happening right at her crotch that is an interesting choice in terms of placing the beading pattern...it's almost like it's accenting her lady parts. But you can't deny she looks amazing and I love that strong cat eye on her.

Kaley Cuoco:
I can't with this one. That hair cut is terrible. It is doing nothing for her and she's trying to funk it up here, but Charlize Theron she is not.

And this dress doesn't fit her. The sleeves are all wonky, making it look like she's trying on her mother's weird bejeweled scuba dress during dress-up.

Karlie Kloss:
How have I not found pics of Taylor Swift if Karlie Kloss was there? I thought they were joined at the hip.

Is it just me or do those shoes look like torture devices? I hate them. My feet are singing right now just looking at them. And something is off with the proportion of the skirt to her corset. Like the skirt is gapping and the corset is too tight or something. Otherwise, from afar it's nice. But when you start zooming in...yikes.

Kate Hudson:
I love this. She looks comfortable, pretty and even though it's slightly seasonally inappropriate, she looks good.

Kate Upton:
She won sexiest woman of the year at this event. And then she wore this, which I feel is like a retraction, no? What the hell is this? She looks stuffed into in the bottom and it looks like it's riding up and painful at the top. And why didn't she bother to do her hair?

She looks so young, and so uncomfortable. She gives me Anna Nicole vibes.

Nicole Richie:
This is perfect. It's appropriate for the season and the weather, it's right on trend. She looks comfortable. The only thing that bugs me is that her hair looks super severe and almost painful, but it's working.

I love this outfit and want it.

2014 AMA's Red Carpet

So this happened....Shall we?

Dianna Agron:
I don't know why Marchesa was her choice...it's weird for the event. The length is weird, the shoulder makes her arms look chubby and her hair is really something else. Something not good.

Elizabeth Banks:
God bless her, she is never boring. I want to like this, but I don't. I like the hair and the shoes, but the middle is hurting my eyes a bit. And it's pretty short. Like, a lot. But she looks SO good with nice, pale skin.

Fergie:

One of the only times I have ever liked what she is wearing. Halston (drool) Heritage (drool). It's beautiful. The shoes are great too. She looks really good. Much less harsh than she normally looks and I love it.

Cut her hair though. Cut it, cut it, cut it.

Gigi Hadid: 

I don't know who this is, but I am really into this suit. It's really a shame about the bra. It's ruining the whole look. Like, everything else is so linear and clean and then there is a lace bra. Ugh. A solid bra with some strappy business happening on it would have been so much better. Like this. Or this.

Giuliana Rancic:
I can't with her. She's so horrific.
This dress is a mess. Especially with her blonde hair and those shoes.

Heidi Klum:
Ugh. This is awful. She has surprisingly wide hips and these stripes are not doing those any favours. And then there are her toes. They are really icky. Especially in those shoes. What's going on with the shoes? They're so weird and springy.

Jennifer Lopez:
Just gorgeous. This is like the slutty, strappy version of the Dirty Dancing finale dress. And she looks amazing in it. She is 45 and she looks better than most women in their 20's. I wish I could pull off that look with my hair..but alas, I am not JLo.

Jessie J:
I am a big fan of the shoe-swallowing pant, and quite honestly, I love this. The inseam on her pants is a bit too long, but the rest of it fits so well. And she looks comfortable and happy. And the hair is a great match.

She's missing jewelry though. I'd love to see a linear earring and a dainty cleavage chain.

Jordin Sparks:
Another Halston Heritage dress. Another winner. It's so amazing. But I'm biased. My consciousness was 18 during the late 70's and spent a lot of time at Studio 54.

Gahhhhh. I love this so much.

Julianne Hough:
Fits her fabulously well, but I loathe the color. Loathe it. Especially the clashy pink part in the middle.

And here is how you don't do the JLo slick back. She can't pull it off. She doesn't have the stature.

Kate Beckinsale:
She did something to her face, OR this is a weird snapshot in time. Something looks tighter around her eyes.

The dress is quite great. I love it. But that necklace is really not ok. I am against it.

Kendall Jenner:
This is a swimsuit cover-up, right? It's very meh if it really is a gown.

I don't like it.

Khloe Kardashian:
Atelier Versace, I think. Also meh. I love that neckline, but the asymmetry of the skirt kind of ruins it for me. It could have been clean and kind of epic, but now it's just tacky.

Kylie Jenner:
The slit is too high. And she looks awkward holding her hand over it like that. And then there is her neckline. It's taped to her boobs and it looks like it is, it's not draping well.

Also, I hate those shoes.

I hate it all.

Lucy Hale:
NO. This is awful.
What is happening at the hips? Did it merge into a glamorously wrapped Christmas gift?

Nikki Minaj:
Is that made of hair? I feel like it looks like hair or something. Ugh, it's creeping me out. Also, I don't like the way it fits at those weird pizza-shaped cuts on her sides.

Olivia Munn:
She looks like an amazing 80's diva. I love it. The make-up is a little harsh for me, and the dress doesn't actually fit that well, but it's kind of great. Shut up! IT IS!

Rita Ora:
While overenthusiastic, it is amazing. The color is great on her, her make-up and hair are fantastic. It's super dramatic. I like this girl. She has balls.

Selena Gomez:
Boob region - what is going on here? Are these her new implants? Because if so, I think she should get a refund.

This dress is too mature for her. Why does she keep ageing herself?

Taylor Schilling:
I am not into all this asymmetry. I don't like how her hair mimics the dress. It's too much. Those shoes are great though.

Zendaya:
Oh wow. This is a lot. This is, like, 90's R&B greatness. I am in love with this. It's terrible and amazing all at the same time.

Like, who wears a Flintstones bikini top with a satin suit?

Oh - and Jessie J - this is how you hem a pant.

Charlie Hunnam in Vogue

For those of you who are long time readers, you'll know I'm obsessed with all things 70's...and even though this girl's outfit is more 60's than 70's, I'm going to pretend that it's more 70's so that I have more reason to love this photo. It's just really great. The bike, the dog, the look. Pretend it's you in a macramé vest straddling Charlie Hunnam on a bike during the 70's. Because duh.

The only blonde man I ever considered hot is my hubs, but this shot is giving Charlie a shot. Having trouble peeling my eyes from the belt/jeans/back/obliques area. Enjoy ladies.

Yikes. This guy.

Willow and Jaden Smith Need Conventional Education

I get it. They're really, silly rich. So Jada and Will home-school them. That and the Scientology bend. But oh my god these kids sound like a mess.

You know, most of us go to school, so we have similar ways of thinking...and it's not this, and maybe that's bad, but on the other hand: THIS IS NOT GOOD.

Here are some snippets from an interview they did:

Q: I'm curious about your experience of time. Do you feel like life is moving really quickly? Is your music one way to sort of turn it over and reflect on it?

WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that's how I know it doesn't exist. 

JADEN: It's proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It's relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it's also such a thing that you can get lost in. 

WILLOW: Because living. 

JADEN: Right, because you have to live. There's a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds, and you can talk and talk, but it's living. 

WILLOW: It's the action of it.

On their music:

WILLOW: And the feeling of being like, this is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made.

JADEN: Exactly. Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it's not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you're thinking about something happy, you're thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It's a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That's not a duality consciousness. And you can't listen to your mind in those times — it'll tell you what you think and also what other people think.

WHAT?!
OH MY GOD GO TO A REGULAR SCHOOL. SCIENTOLOGY MAKES YOU SOUND CRAZY.

Jennifer Lopez is Killing It

So hot. Not normal.

This Zuhair Murad is so gorgeous. She's been wearing him a lot lately and she wears it so well.

She is proof that you can age gracefully.

This made my week: EW's 2014 Reunions: Mean Girls & Napolean Dynamite

Like, Mean Girls was so great, right. There are so many amazing jokes from it, just so good. And I love that you can look at this picture and kind of feel like the rest of them are embarrassed to be in the same photo as Lindsay Lohan. It's really great. 

They all have these weird smirky expressions on their faces like "um, what smells like a wet ashtray and self tanner?"

I think we all know the answer to that questions ladies...

And then there's these two. Love it.

Also, Vote for Pedro.

Renée Zellweger Messed With Her Face Again...

Yes, again. This time she pulled a 'Jennifer Grey / Kenny Rogers' and looks totally unrecognizable. If you look closely, you can see parts of her are still visible but the changes around her forehead/eyes are insane.

There are styling differences too, that are making it look more dramatic: she seems to have stopped pencilling her eyebrows and the lack of framing makes her look very different just on it's own.

Then add on top the obvious plastic surgery and resurfacing she's had and boom. You get these mind blowing pictures.

Here are some for perspective:

Renee and Sara Paulson (with hotness Ewan McGregor) years ago

Renee and Sarah Paulson last night. And I may be reading into the photo, but Sarah looks frightened to me and the guy in the background is totally joking with his friends about Renee's face and pretending he's going to go ask if it's really her. Amirite?

And yes, everyone has verified her identity. It's her. She just has a new face.

Zach Galifiniakis Got Skinny...Doesn't Look Better

Some people look better when they get thin. Others do not.

Here is a picture of Zach after losing quite a bit of weight apparently just from curbing his drinking. Super congrats if he had an issue, and good on you for getting healthier...but he looks off.

Not unlike when Drew Carey got thin (after the jump, just for reference), Zach doesn't look right. He looks a little ill, a lot older...and so much hair. It was there before, just much more noticeable now.

I dunno...

George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin's Wedding Photos...Finally

We saw every damn boat trip they took all weekend, but finally now the wedding dress.

It's beautiful, for sure, but it's a LOT. I am not a fan of that silhouette...or that weirdness that is happening on her head.

Reactions to Lindsay Lohan in 'Speed The Plow' Rehearsals are Not Terrible

Look, we all know this site is not about being nice. And I don't try to be an awful person it just comes naturally.

She looks TERRIBLE you guys. Like totally awful. Like, do they not have make-up or hair for this play?

So...they did a preview show for the press, and while normally the press don't release reviews on preview shows, because this hot mess is in it, they're out.

Honestly, they're not that bad. She forgot some lines, but she wasn't the only cast member who did. Toby from 'The West Wing' did too.

Apparently her character has the only real monologue in the play, and she didn't make it through, despite holding a book in her hands during it....um, stage manager, why not paste the speech in the book?

She's obviously not going to get a fair shot at this....already displayed by the audience laughing at her whenever she forgot her lines...but it will be interesting to see how it goes when it begins in earnest next week.

And hopefully they hire some beauty people.

Random Posts - September 24, 2014

Sometimes there are just a build up of random photos and we have to go through them...shall we?

Lauren Conrad got married recently. Her dress was really pretty and she's generally pretty cute. This is a pretty great picture too. Sigh. Who wants to get married again?

This one's been in the news a lot lately...for having a pretty bratty attitude. Luckily, this is one of the photos from the shoot that started all the talk. She apparently stormed out of the shoot after seeing the previews of these.

Granted, it's pretty bad, but there's no reason to be a brat about it, Ariana Grande.

This one is solely for Reese Witherspoon's shoes. I LOVE them. They are amazing. I really love them. Ugh. No fair.

Sandra Bullock dyed her hair blonde for a movie...I forgot how much I disliked it blonde. Shouldn't they have done something to her eyebrows?

And this is just because. Why not?

Mila Kunis & Ashton Kutcher Look Really Pregnant

I am easily annoyed...as you may have already figured out from reading this site...

One thing that peeves me is when people say 'we're pregnant'. No dude, you're not. She's pregnant.

She is the one who is going to squeeze a human out of her privates. You're both going to be parents, yes.

I like this photo.

She looks REALLY pregnant. And they both look a little bedraggled and exhausted.

Hee hee.

Does Beyoncé Lip Sync More Than We Think?

At one of the last concerts in Paris last week Bey pointed her mic to the audience at one point...while she kept singing somehow...

Take a look for yourself below.

Now, before I am kidnapped and murdered by the Beygency, I want to make a point that I have always questioned how she can do all those dance moves during the rap parts of her songs, so it doesn't necessarily surprise me that the raps might be pre-recorded. I mean, how do you keep that perfect rhythm while moving the way she does?

Ryan Gosling & Eva Mendes Had a Baby Girl!

Yes, I know that this crushes the dreams of many a creepy woman out there, but t'is true. Sorry to break it to you.

Even though they never actually confirmed that she was pregnant, apparently they did confirm to Us Weekly and People magazines that they had a girl on September 12.

I'm super curious to see what this little chiquita is going to look like in 18 years. Probably totally gorgeous. Or hideous. You never know with beautiful people...

Britney Spears Launched a Lingerie Line

She makes me saaadddd. I mean, like, kudos for her, because he is raking in the cash, but there is something about the way she seems dragged around all the time that makes me pity her. 

And then there are her boobs in this jumpsuit. They're kind of tragic, no? And she wore this while promoting a lingerie line that she designed. Um. Lingerie to me is either super trashy or elegant...and if I was going to pick one of those for Britney...it's not the elegant version. But it seems to be the look she went for here.

It all just makes me a bit sad. Like, if you had that much money, wouldn't you get a boob lift?