Billy Mays is dead

No one will ever pitch you wonderful products again by yelling their virtues at you, the king of amazing products and incredible pitches has passed away.

Billy Mays was found dead in his Florida home this morning by his wife. He was said to have hit his head on a plane earlier in the week. Cause of death has not been determined.

You know what? With Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Ed McMahon and Farah Fawcett, this has been a horrible week for deaths. Sucks.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

I sat dumbstruck in my house last night watching CNN and any other news channel I could waiting to confirm the fact that this man had died.

I hope everyone will remember him for his amazing contributions to the music world and not for the oddities that occurred in recent times...

Who of you hasn't rocked out to one of his songs at a wedding, while getting ready or just in your car? He was a musical genius and an incredible entertainer.

Sad, sad, sad.

Michael Jackson - If this is true it is VERY, VERY sad

TMZ reported earlier today that Michael Jackson was rushed to hospital due to cardiac arrest. Apparently CPR was administered in the ambulance.

At 5:20 est today TMZ is quoted as saying that Michael Jackson has passed away. CNN has not confirmed, family has not confirmed.

Either way, it's a very sad day.

Bruno! I'm running out of words for why I love him!

Want to make out with Sasha Baron Cohen. For reals.

Love this pink suit.

Don't get the meaning, but it's funny nonetheless.

Love him.

The Douchebaggery of Society plods onward and downward...the Perez Hilton edition

I loathe Perez Hilton. Always have. Really bothers me that he's gotten to the places he's gotten to. He's such a moron. His posts are not funny and the fact that he's been embraced by the world actually makes me queasy...especially when there are much more talented and witty people out there writing about celebrity culture (DListed, The Superficial, Lainey, etc, etc, etc)

Anyhoo, Sunday night was the Much Music (Canadian MTV) Video Awards in Toronto. They throw a crazy huge block party and lots of celebs show. Unfortunately, Perez Hilton was there with Lady Gaga (why LG, why?).

At one of the after parties, Perez got into a war of words with Fergie & Will.i.Am (why would you ever get into a verbal argument with a rapper, you know they're going to smoke you?)...at one point Perez Hilton called Will.i.Am a faggot and then there was a huge dust-up and the Black Eyed Peas tour manager ended up punching Perez Hilton in the face. See pic. Gross.

Anyway, instead of calling the police (not tough, 911) the douchebag of all douchebags TWITTERED about the incident, called his lawyer, Twittered a few more times and begged people following him on Twitter to call the police for him. I f-ing hope the Toronto police gave him hell for not calling himself. What a tool.

Ugh. Society is going down the drain.

Beyonce is hot...just not in this!

Why this woman insists on wearing the most figure unflattering outfits is beyond me. I love the sheen on the nylons though...very slimming.

It's just that Balenciaga-ish bodysuit. So deforming. Ick.

Bruno...the anticipation is too much.

Too fabulous.

And here is an article from Sasha Baron Cohen's former partner telling how he works...it's pretty crazy.

Katie Holmes vs Gumby - Does this make anyone else laugh?

I don't know what it is about this picture, but it really makes me laugh.

Ha ha.

Happy Friday!

Courtney Love will design a clothing line...

I bet you you're going to run out to the store on the first day to buy it, right? I am. But I'm going to fake do it by doing the running man and then I'm going to Photoshop myself near the store that carries her line.

Um.

Seriously. Would you wear anything this woman designed? Look at her!

Evidently, she's being sued by American Express for upwards of $350,000...I guess this is her way of paying them back...I don't think the $20 she's going to earn from the sale of two pairs of leggings at TJ Maxx is really going to cover that $350k...

I can't wait for 'Bruno' to come out.

Sasha (Sacha?) Baron Cohen is why.

It is not possible to be this hilarious, he is obviously super human.

I have heard that the movie is unbelievably cringe-worthy and really difficult to watch.

Sounds just like Borat (ahem, naked hotel scene)...but more fabulous because it's new and it's coming out soon!

Hurray!

Tori Spelling is so gross. Ick.

Please don't say I didn't warn you.

Seriously though, how does one even manufacture a bathing suit with so little coverage in the nip-ular area?

And why are my posts all about nipples today? Ugh. Summer is the worst. We have to see people in bathing suits constantly and see their air conditioned nipples just as often.

TORI - PLEASE PUT AWAY YOUR GIANT SAUSAGE NIPS.

Britney Spears' nipples look at her shoes

Ha ha, that sentence rocks.

If your nipples were constantly pointing to your waistline, would you or would you not wear at least a lined bra so that they weren't so visible?

I don't mean to contribute to the horrible attention Britney Spears gets that makes her crazy, but good lord woman! Slap on a brassiere! Come on!

Oh, and FYI, these are what I like to call "southies". Hee hee.

Err, Heather Graham's nipples are out and about

I really want to stress the 'about' of the title, because those things are not aligned!

I think there might be something dramatically wrong with her hang, there.

Oh well, at least she knows how to play up some of her best features.

Oy.

MTV Movie Awards 2009 - How much do you love Andy Samberg?

I have stated a few times how much I love Andy Samberg. I just love him. He's damn funny. So I was really happy to hear that he was asked to host this year's MTV movie awards.

I was just in Jamaica for my best friend's wedding and the place, unfortunately, didn't have much of a nightlife, so we were constantly in people's rooms drinking, dancing, etc. One night, for some reason, we flipped on MTV and happened to fall upon the MTV Movie awards. Awesome.

We watched enough for me to decide that until the last Twilight Saga movie comes out, we need to rename the series the 'Twilight Movie Awards'. Ridic!

For me, highlights were

1. Bruno dropdown into Eminem's face (I was so happy to learn that Eminem does have a sense of humour and walked out as a joke - thank god they didn't go with their 1st choice of Parasite)
   
   
   
2. The SNL Digital Short medley...gorgeous.
   

Here are some people and what they wore:


Anna Faris:
Yawn. This is one of many crinkly puffball dresses I saw this night. I'm a little bored at the fact that people didn't have a little more fun with this event. This seriously looks like my sister's prom dress from 1990.

Love the shoes though.

Ashley Tisdale:
LOVE everything. You can hate me for it, bit I think it's all perfect. The dress is fun, the shoes are stunning, the purse/clutch is totally amazing and I'm drooling over the rest of the accessories. I honestly think this might be my look of the night. Love it.

Aziz Ansari:
I don't really care about his outfit (except for the fact that I loathe his boat shoes), but I think he's ridiculously funny, so I just wanted to give him props for hilarity.


Bruno (aka Sasha Baron Cohen):
Wonderful. Period. Peter Pan hat is pure magic. Ha ha, I wrote that like it was originally written in another language and translated. Still. Pure magic.

Cam Gigandet:
Because I am ageing at an alarming rate, I can barely keep up with celebrity culture. Therefore, I don't know a lot of the people on this carpet. Including this guy. But what I do know is that I totally hate is "Extra in Matrix 3" sweater under his pea coat and his stupid undone-on-purpose boots.

Cameron Diaz (ugh) with Abigail Breslin and Sofia Vassilieva:
Could Abigail Breslin be any cuter and more age appropriate? Love it. I hate Cameron Diaz's outfit almost as much as I hate her, however, I was really pleased to see her included in the opening sequence of the show, dancing, and she had crazy pit stains. HA HA!

I'm thinking Sofia Vassilieva is Molly Ringwald's clone, right?

Channing Tatum & Sienna Miller:
This girl makes the rounds! Wow, she is such a ho. Love her dress though, and her legs looked ultra fab int his outfit. This guy needs to buzz cut his hair again and stop wearing clothes. That's all he's good for.

Danny McBride & Will Ferrell:
Older guys.
Has anyone seen Danny McBride's show? Is it funny? Let me know.

Hayden Pannettiere:
For once she's dressed okay. Ok only though. It's still too old for her, but better than normal. Ugh she's gross. Puff ball #2.

Holly Montag:
Ok, I don't watch 'The Hills' but while in Jamaica (I'm so dropping that in every post today) my friend forced us to watch the finale one day before dinner. This girl was a super drunk mess in it and it made me laugh and laugh. People are the worst. Especially people on that show.


Jonah Hill:
This guy is funny. And I love his super uncomfortable thin-lipped smile. But is it just me or did he lose some weight and now gain all of it, plus some back?

Kristen Bell:
See what I mean about the puff ball dress? She looks pretty good, but her hair looks limp and icky and I think she could have done better.

Kristen Stewart:
Love the Chuck Taylors. Love that she doesn't give a shit. Love it. I love everything about her hair and make-up. The dress looks like so many other things she's worn though. PS - Twilight fans - SHE'S NOT DATING ROBERT PATTINSON. He's dating my cousin TOM.

Kristen Quintrall:
I don't know who this is, but everything about her is wrong. Ick.

Lauren Conrad:
My friend made us watch the hills. This girl is such a baby. Gross. Get over yourself. But, I really like her extensions and wish I had her $. That is all. Oh, and also her shoes. Puff ball #4

Leighton Meester:
Awesome magical hotness. LOVE IT. She looks incredible and gorge. I am not loving the booties, but the rest is great. Very fantastic, sleek and sexy. Much better than the Costume Institute Gala.


Li'l Wayne:
Nice hoodie. Also, one of the landscapers at the resort we were just at totally ripped off this look. But he had only 2 teeth instead of diamond ones, and 9½ fingers. We called him 'Groundskeeper Li'l Wayne'

Malin Ackerman:
She's pretty, but if she keeps doing that to her hair she is going to get one serious receding hairline. Also, the suit is a bit blech. It's wrinkly, boring and she has the legs to do something a lot more interesting.

Megan Fox:
Proof that bad hair does not work on anyone, even pretty girls. I do not understand the aim of this hair. Why is it slicked to her head only until her ears and then allowed to puff out? It's like a forced mullet and I will not accept it.

The rest is classic MF. Slutty, trashy, etc.
Puff ball #5.


Sandra Bullock:
Didn't need those tights Sandy. It's June. In LA. Come on. The dress is stunning and fabulous and I want it.

Taraji P. Henson:
I don't know what it is that I like about this girl. I think it's that she looks sassy, but I can't put my finger on it. Either way, she looks sassy. I'm not crazy about the vintage dinner plate print dress, but it is what it is. Also, it's puff ball #6.

Taylor Lautner:
Isn't he pretty? I find he could be such a pretty girl. I really don't care of skinny jeans on men though. Weirds me out. Where do they put their junk? Oy. I think he's too young for me to be conjecturing that under his name.

Miley Cyrus:
I realyl have to say that I don't think she's that cute. She has a chipmunk face. Yah, that's right. I said it. Chipmunk face. And that dress was made for Angelina Jolie. Take it off! Not in front of me. I'm not into rodent porn.

Vanessa Hudgens:
I heard a rumour that Rachel Bilson's wardrobe was stolen from her house. Sucks for her. I think I would die if all my clothes disappeared, until I realized that I would get new ones. Still. My jeans! I would die.

Anyway, my point is that I think it was Vanessa Hudgens because I feel like this looks like something Rachel Bilson has worn in the past. No? An Olsen sister? Someone help me.

Zac Efron:
This douche looks good in clothes, but that isn't enough for me to not hate him because his hair is just too ridiculous. CUT IT.

Zachary Quinto:
He's too skinny. It makes me self conscious because I know I would be bigger than him. Also, his pants are too tight. Ahem. But, I will take his jacket...since I know it would fit me.

Stupidity! Archie proposes to Veronica!

You know what? This is BLASPHEMY! Ok, not really, but it is dumb. First of all, since when are these fools out of high school? Now they're getting married?

I mean I get Archie's angle, marry Veronica without a prenup and then divorce her and go be happy with Betty...but come on.

Nothing in this is worse than Jughead's jacket...really? A green sportcoat? And we're supposed to think you're professional? Because you're still wearing a mini crown on your head.

Also - what is with Betty's bangs and why is she crying outside a jewelry shop? Was she already there watching them? Maybe that's why Archie doesn't want to marry you! You're a stalker, Betty!

I was talking with my brown sister this past week and she had, what I think could be a winning idea: Do an Archie movie, cast Angelina Jolie as Veronica, Jennifer Aniston as Betty and fill in the rest. Wouldn't that be awesome?

Gossip Girl: Did I see Taylor Momsen?

Just came back from a week in Jamaica and there was this girl I kept seeing places who had really odd hair and dressed pretty interestingly for Jamaica...because I don't watch it, I kept wondering aloud if that was the girl from 'Gossip Girl', Taylor Momsen.

Luckily, at one point a friend overheard me and told me it wasn't, but she was close. Check out her picture (and hair!)

Her real name was Ashleigh and she was from London. Hair is something else, no.

Oh, and (so scary) she's 15!

(I had her parents' permission to take this)