She's out. COME ON CALIFORNIA!

Seriously California? You have the most useless court system. You should be embarrassed.

The girl does COCAINE and amphetamines while undergoing mandatory drug tests and you don't even punish her?

What the s-it will this idiot ever learn if she's not punished?

Judge Fox's ruling was appealed by Lindsay's lawyer and Fox's supervisor set bail at $3oo,ooo, slapped a Scram bracelet back on her ankle and let her out.

COME ON.

If this was a regular person this would never have happened.

Justin Bieber is a terrible actor

At the risk of being hunted down by many pre-teens and tweens, I will make this bold statement.

With this clip of the Bieb's performance on CSI, I can firmly say that he is an awful actor:



Right?

Julianne Moore cries...

So, DListed posted this video of Julianne Moore emoting in many of her films. I got bored a little bit of the way through and just as I was going to turn it off, this scene came on (~1:30) and that is when I caught this screen cap:

In the clip, you don't see anyone else in the room with her, but you do see her with her arms all over herself at the beginning of the cry. Then THIS arm pops in and I was like, "Did I miss something? Does she have insane man hands and brutally hairy arms?"

It took me a moment to realize that it was clearly another character, but imagine my horror before I realized that. Imagine???

Ew!

Lindsay Lohan goes BACK to jail...

Update: Fantastic.

Oh, and the judge has been really tough. Here's the official quote:

"Ms Lohan cannot be released early because this isn't a jail sentence," L.Al Sheriff's spokesman Steve Whitmore says. "She's being held by court order until her hearing on Oct. 22."

Updating her Wikipedia page must be fun. Went to jail, July 2010, released from jail August 2010, returned to jail September 2010. Fun, for the whole family!

So, Lindsay was sentenced to the harshest possible sentence this morning for her 2 violations to her mandatory drug testing (one cocaine and one Adderall) : refused bail and sent to jail until her next court hearing, which the judge will most likely only schedule after 30 days so that she finally does the time she should do.

The judge didn't even hear arguments. Once everyone was in there he said what he was doing and the bailiff handcuffed her. BOOYAKASHA!

Looks to me like someone wasn't expecting to go to jail or they wouldn't have done the following things:

- Gone grocery shopping the night before (on TMZ)

- Worn $1200 Louboutins

- Gotten her lips freshly injected - see picture.

One of her idiot friends wrote the judge a letter pleading with him not to put her in jail because she needed help. Seems to me the judge is the only one helping her anymore. Everyone else is just enabling.

Dear Judge Fox,

I am writing you in regards to Lindsay Lohan. I have had the pleasure to get to know her very well and have endured the past year with her through her highs and lows. I am desperate to get this message to you. She is working really hard to be better and has done everything possible to stay healthy and clean. We (family members and loving friends) have separated her from anyone who can harm her or deviate her from her goals which are to be a model citizen. She is aware of her impact in this world and wants to rise from this. A few days ago she had a very low moment and made a mistake that has her so terrified it is breaking my heart. I am truly concerned for her well being.

I do not intend to tell you what to do, but as a model citizen to another, I must beg you to please not send her to jail. Jail brought her down, and created so many insecurities and anxiety that we are now fighting to strip from her. She is not going to make this mistake again. She is building herself back up every second and jail will only set her back.

Please Judge Fox look at Lindsay and know that she is a woman who is struggling to get her life back on track, maybe as a day patient and a lot of wonderful community service we can have her pay back the mistake. I also think that community service can show her a different human dimension and allow her to count her blessings more often. I want to see her succeed and shine again. Please help her do it. She wants to get away from this madness. She needs help.

Thank you
Electra Avellan

Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon!

Leann Rimes - Baywatch?

I know this isn't for Baywatch, it's for Shape or something, but before they put text and the title on the magazine cover...doesn't this look like like a Baywatch character bio online?

Oh Baywatch, how I yearn for your simplicity.

Leann Rimes, I wish you were less annoying so I could pretend to like you.

Britney on Glee!

I can put this on a list of things I'm excited about!

I love me some cheesy Britney and though Glee had a week ending to their season last year, it's still a fun show...



Doesn't that look fab?!?

Blake Lively Makes me Yearn for My Youth

Remember when you were young (if you are, please picture my sticking out my tongue at you) and your body obeyed you and looked good?

Now we're old and body fat creeps up and tries to keep you warm and then is super tenacious about leaving...Ugh. I'm depressed.

Anyhoo, Blake Lively makes me wish I was 20 again. When I was 20, I was skinny and hot. Now I'm not skinny and alright.

Ugh. This dress is so stunning.

I can't wait to see this movie.

Jessica Simpson getting attacked

Jessica Simpson has been getting attacked lately. She seems happy, though I'm a little nervous she's going to get burned again by this guy, can't we just be happy for her?

She's not as svelte as she was years ago, but hey, people fluctuate. Does she look amazing? Yes. So who cares if she isn't the same as she was in that video for 'These Boots were Made for Walking'?

People are guessing she's pregnant after seeing her in this outfit. You know what I think? She's relaxed, she's in love and she's not in the gym every day. So what?

PS - I hate those flowers on that dress.

Mr Megan Fox's (ok, Brian Austin Green's) eye job

Ok, I'm pretty sure Brian has caught his wife's love for plastic surgery...because those do not look like David Silver's eyes! WTF!?

He definitely did something to them. I'm hurt.

And so is Scott Scanlon. Come on...you remember.

PS - Thanks to LaineyGossip.com for the picture of the lovely (plasticized) couple

Um, Jake Gyllenhall is...um...

I'm losing concentration looking at this photo. Not because I find it overly sexy, because it's a little awkward...or something is off about it. But because of how really almost naked he is. And not in an artsy way. In a "I'm hiding my balls from you!" kind of way. Ha ha. That was crude.

But really, that's a lot of near nudity. For a movie that co-stars Anne Hathaway. Isn't this picture a bit suggestive for the movie? Check out the trailer...let me know what you think...because I don't think it goes with the idea at all...

Plus, he's SO naked. What's with me today. All pale and naked all the time.

Speaking of pale...Felicity is quite nude.

For the life of me I cannot remember this girl's name right now. I'm getting a total block.

But naked though, right?

And a lot of pale, milky white flesh.

Too much?

I think yes.

Kerri something?

WTF!

Ok, I gave up and Googled it. Keri Russel.

For real though, what person sits on a chair like that?

Monica Cruz needs a new make-up artist

I'm not great at putting on make-up. But I have a friend who is. That's why I depend on her to make me look good at important times in my life.

Monica Cruz needs my friend.

How could someone with such a lovely color of skin manage to look so Casper-iffic? It's really a shame. She looks like she accidentally powdered with Lindsay Lohan's compact...and I don't mean make-up.

Monica - check out my friend's website: http://www.hausofcolor.ca/

Go see her. You need some tips.

Shiloh turns four, is allowed weapons on the plane

I know, I'm being harsh, but come on. Why is a four year old messiah/celebrity child allowed to carry a wooden sword on the plane and I can't even bring lip gloss, depending on the airport?

Still, she's cute. I love that her combat boots are already perfectly worn in. How did that happen. And can she wear in a pair for me so that I don't look so nerdy?

Lindsay Lohan fails a drug test. SHOCK.ING.

What rock have I been living under that I missed the fact that Lindsay Lohan failed a drug test for cocaine last week?

Here's what she tweeted in response:

Regrettably, I did in fact fail my most recent drug test and if I am asked, hat I am prepared to appear before judge Fox next week as a result.

Substance abuse is a disease, which unfortunately doesn't go away over night. I am working hard to overcome it and am taking positive steps forward every day. I am testing every single day and doing what I must do to prevent any mishaps in the future.

This was certainly a setback for me but I am taking responsibility for my actions and I'm prepared to face the consequences.

I am so thankful for the support of my fans, loved ones and immediate family, who understand that i am trying hard, but also that I am a work in progress, just as anyone else. I am keeping my faith, and I am hopeful....Thank you all!!!

Um, not to be a jerk, but shouldn't someone go back to the rehab center that decided to let her out 60 days early and give them hell? And doesn't someone owe Judge Marcia Revel an apology (ahem Dina Lohan!)???

Also, can someone please tell me if this has been posted on Failblog.org? Because it definitely should be.

This is an EPIC FAIL.

Winona Ryder looks...um, good.

By no means does she look bad. But this is not the best Winona I've ever seen.

I (as usual) like that she's not stick thin, I love it when people are natural and healthy. But her dress doesn't really fit. I mean, not to be mean, but is it bursting at the waistline there? What happened?

Her boobs look fantastic, she had/has great boobs, from what I remember. Look how plush and lovely they are!

But her make-up, and the hair, and her weird posture.

She's not the best Winona I've ever seen.

JWoww is CLASSY

Some women just naturally have grace and class. I am not one of those women. I am clumsy, mannish and generally uncouth (duh, you've read this blog, right?). I have man hands, big feet and wide shoulders. Wow. I am painting a stunning photo right now.

Other women, have grace. They glide places, they don't bump into things and you can't hear them coming because they step softly, as if on air. The ones who are classy too are a complete package - they dress elegantly, never too much or too loud, and in general are lovely. Obviously, JWoww is one of those people.

Ok, I'm obviously kidding here. But for real, I bet that's what she thought when she put on this blazer as a top when leaving the house. What classy lady wouldn't? Hilarious.

PS - For the record, I wear men's blazers because of my man shoulders, so I could never pull this off. That and the fact that I have barely any boobs. Wow.

PPS - I'm kidding about the men's blazers, but not about the boobs. Me sad.

Explanation as to why Miley Cyrus is not attractive

Not to be mean, but I am mean, so blurg to you if you don't like it.

Ok, I'm over that.

Anyhoo, I was looking at these pictures of Ashley Greene and Miley Cyrus in Paris and oh my god. Look at the comparison.

Look at Miley's face. While she could maybe pull of cute (as in, rodent-like), she is definitely not hot, and doesn't really have the face to be. No?

Is this too mean? I'm going to stop now.

George Michael (singer/songwriter, not boy) gets jail time

Ok, admittedly, he screwed up a bunch of times. He got really wasted, and passed out in his car repeatedly. Like, repeatedly.

The last time he did it he crashed into something and got arrested. So now he's bee sentenced to 2 months in jail.

And while I'm all for people serving sentences that are deserving, Pete Doherty (used to be Amy Winehouse's boyfriend) has at least twice as many arrests for drugs and other things and he never gets any jail time. I don't understand the legal system.

The title of this post is a treat for my fellow Arrested Development fans.

Lady Gaga at the VMA's

So a lot of people are up in arms about Lady Gaga's fashion choices on Sunday night at the VMA's...her second gown was a leather gown by Georgio Armani (which was stunning) but she complained that it was insanely heavy. I think it's hot and people need to shut it.

Then there was the meat dress...she won video of the year wearing this and apparently a lot of people were offended. Peta said (lame) "It is worthy of comment"...um. That's it? They throw fits for EVERYTHING and nothing for a dress made of meat...or faux meat? Come on!

Anyhoo, here it is and below is a video of her on Ellen yesterday explaining it and receiving a lettuce bikini from Ellen.

2010 MTV Video Music Awards - Post #3

Maybe one last taste of fashion? Sure, some of them are obscure personalities, but when we judge, we don't judge. Wait. That doesn't make any sense. You know what I mean.

Amber Riley:

She's normally so cute, you know? And here she is, not cute at all. Like, trainwreck not cute. Those boots, the dress, the vest (!). All of it is a hot mess. Not well done Amber. NOT well done.

Bonnie McKee:

An American singer songwriter. I'm more intrigued by her use of pink lipstick and those ungodly short shorts. Like really! Only your partner needs to see that much of your thighs. Hmm, listening to her sing on Jimmy Kimmel as I write this and she gives me a bit of a Jewel vibe. Ew. A lot of a Jewel vibe. Hate her. And her shorts.

Craig Robinson:

This guy is just funny. Saw him do stand-up 2 years ago and he was so damn funny. He was really, really good. Something about taking off someone's panties and it being whispered. Beautiful. I also love that he's rocking a Modern Family Cameron folded sleeve cuff. Hawt.

Dane Cook:

Some people I love are not going to be ecstatic that I'm saying this, because they love this guy, but OH MY GOD. If there was a captain of douchebags, if that ranking was ever awarded, I am certain it would be awarded to stretched out deep v-neck tshirt wearer Dane Cook here. Ugh. And his hair, and the gold chain, and the pristine (too clean to be cool) white sneakers.

Oh my god. I hate him. I'm angry I hate him so much.

Florence Welch:

This lady impressed me last night. Not only is she rocking a nude dress (one of 2 she wore) with pale skin, she's also rocking the hot hue of red hair. And she has PIPES! Like, mad pipes. Like she was running around and spinning and her voice was beautiful. First day of loving her.

Hayley Williams:

I don't like this skirt. Yesterday, while live-blogging, I noted that the skirt looked a lot like running shorts with sparkly bottle caps glued to them. I still feel that way. I like how she's tongue in cheek though. Not taking herself too seriously, and that's pretty important when you're wearing a small child's arts & crafts project.
Jane Lynch:

Mmmm. No. I disagree. I do not like this gigantic, overly dramatic coat. And I don't understand why this would be a choice for this event. But I don't understand old people. Ha! Yes I do. I'm old.

When she appeared on stage, I actually thought there was someone hiding behind her because the coat was flipping around and it looked like someone might be behind her. It was weird. And I didn't like it. I still don't.

Jersey Shore cast:

Just for good measure. The Jersey Shore cast. I LOVE THEM. I also don't even mind that they hired another totally short girl and replaced Angelina. Ugh.

Deena Nicole Cortese:

Here is said short girl. Saw a couple of pics of her this week. She's a thick girl. Not shy. I like that.

Karina Smirnoff:

I forget why this person is, but I did want to note her because she is wearing the sunniest, springiest yellow and it's wrong. It's just seasonally off...and while she does stand out, it's still off.

Speaking of off, that little nub she has on her head and is most likely calling a bun. Boo. That is gross. Couldn't afford some extensions to beef that up? Don't do it.
Katy Perry's nails (aka Russel Brand):

Creepy. Right?

Maria Menounos:

Is she pregnant? If not, this is a terrible picture. Her shoes are really lame and sad, but her hair is still the crowl jewel. Beautiful. And I love her clutch. I want it.

Robyn:

Ohhhh, "Show Me Love". Remember that? She looks tinier, and not as healthy as she used to. The hair color and the weird eye make-up don't help. She is weirding me out a bit, but I can accept it because she's from the 90's.

Those boots are hella weird.

Roxy Olin:

I don't care for this dress. Or for Roxy herself. But I feel like Whitney treated her very badly last season...so I have sympathy. Those boots are also not giving me anything...in fact they're making me a bit angry. Must be honest.

Her face is weird, no? Like she's on something?

Sean Kingston:

Love the shoes. See, Karina Smirnoff? This is how you could do bright color.

Shaun Robinson:

I did this to my hair the other day, and then I took it out because it looked dumb. And like that. Shaun Robinson should have done the same thing. The dress is good, simple. Hard to mess up, but there are those shoes...they're fugly. They could mess anything up. Yucky.

Sofia Vergara:

Do you love her? If you don't, do. She's awesome. Watch 'Modern Family'. She's all boobs and ass and hilarity on that show. And as I mentioned below, she's wearing the same earrings I watched Beyonce in on 60 minutes, mere moments before the show.

Hey. Speaking of which. Where were Mr & Mrs Bey-Z?

Tito Ortiz:

Ugh. What a douche. I can't tell if this is how his eye is naturally, or if he has make-up over a black eye. Which is worse?

Those jeans. That's the answer.

Will.I.Am:

Many people, including myself, were up in arms about this last night. It just seemed distasteful, no? Considering all struggles Black people had to go through over their history, did slapping on black face make-up - intentionally black facing or not - really seem like the best idea ever? Just poorly thought out.

A shitty move from an ego freak like him. I'm not shocked.

Ok, I think that's it! Hopefully some of you followed last night, because I accidentally deleted the history after I finished. It is one of those lost, wonderful things.

Not sure if I'll do it again. It severely impeded my ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol while I enjoyed the show. Let me know if you want me to though, I'm open to discuss it. `

2010 MTV Video Music Awards - Post #2

You'll have to forgive the quality, I was taking pictures of my TV with my camera. Slick.

Here's the video...

When Chelsea came out Gaga-esque with a giant house on her head, complete with automatic garage door and doves that flew out of her cooch. Hot.

Katy Perry and this other lady whose name escapes me. She had a giant ass.

Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine performed. Lady had PIPES.

Gaga accepting an award in what looked to be a leather gown. She said it was really heavy and she felt like 'fashion roadkill'

Taylor Swift being boring and singing a really slow song, wearing curls (shock!), red lips (shock!) and a floaty neutral colored dress (shock!). Seriously, a little Kanye would have spiced that bore fest up.

Chelsea getting back talked by Snooki because she doesn't want to go into the jacuzzi with them.

The situation looking Situationy and look at Snooki's skin color!

Chelsea in the hot tub...this later finished with a joke that she got pregnant from being in there with them.

Sofia Vergera wearing the exact same earrings I just saw Beyoncé wearing on 60 Minutes. She was cute and funny, as usual.

Hayley Williams from Paramore performing first with BOB then with Paramore.

Robyn! Remember her? She looked slightly psychotic and freaky...super pale, blue-white blond hair and no mascara. Very drone/mannequin.

Cher came out in vintage Bob Mackie! I'm not even sure how she got that on, she is certainly not as thin as she used to be.
That's some huge hair.
Cher handing Meat Gaga her next award (1 of 8 for the evening)
Gaga handed Cher her 'meat purse'. Sounds dirty, no?
Kanye closes the show with a dramatically stark performance. The lyrics were killer.



Toast to the douchebags! Toast to the assholes! Toast to the something elses. Funny. He wrote it for Taylor swift.

It was fun.