Spiders on Drugs

If you're like me, you think spiders are icky, so you would like to see them do a lot of drugs

Check this out, for a midweek giggle:

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Luke Wilson for Verizon...and potatoes?

Uh, what happened to Luke Wilson and why does his head look like a potato?

Canadians who embarrass Canadians: The Avril Lavigne edition

Ohhh, to be back in the days of Sk8R boi (or however the hell you mistakenly spell that shite song title) when Avril was cute and we were proud of her.

Now she's intensely douche-a-riffic, with a divorce from the first human sized pink smurf fresh under her belt and hanging out with a guy who looks like a mix between Mario Lopez and that other guy who is in all of Adam Sandler's movies.

Wow. Way to ruin your life.

Remember When This Passed for Entertainment?

I don't either.

This is a video of one of the judges from 'So You Think You Can Dance' being super hot.

Yeesh

Um, Marilyn Manson, it's ok if you want to keep the make-up on...

So Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood are dating again. Woo frigging hoo.

I don't really care enough except to say that I really feel like the make-up made that guy more attractive, and you wouldn't think that would be possible, because he's fugly with the make-up.

Check it out - fuglier without! Who would've thunk it? (mmm, hot English)

Gross.

Salma Hayek looks AMAZING

We all know Salma Hayek is hot. It's not a secret.

So here's a picture of her to make us all doubt our hotness. LOOK AT HER.

That color is incredible on her...and I honestly didn't think I'd like a surgeon's-scrubs-coloured dress. And that haircut is divine. DIVINE. It hits her at the perfect spot and makes her face look so perfect.

Wow. Really not fair.

Our Goddess Kate Beckinsale - Wearing Skinny jeans right

I love Kate Beckinsale. Because no matter what, she's still mainly classy. Ha ha, what a lovely way to put that.

No, for reals. Look at her hair here. Instead of knotting it up like every college tard at Starbucks, she put it in a chic chignon.

And the skinny jeans are perfect...they're not all emo'd up with a gross v-neck t shirt and dirty hair and sneakers. They're glammed up with a pair of pumps and they're perfectly cropped. Beautiful.

God I love her.

I wish my thighs looked like that in skinny jeans.

And a Merry Skankmas to You!

I heard from a lot of you over the holidays and I just wanted to thank you all for continuing to read Skankopolis.


Tis the season, so here's our most skanky skank wearing a onesie and santa hat. I will say this - she doesn't look disgustingly emaciated...just thin. That's positive, right?

Tizzle Wizzle! SNL Digital Short

Demented and hilarious SNL digital short from last week's show.


SNL - The Tizzle Wizzle Show HQ Digital Short - video

***Sorry - I don't know why it's playing in mirror image like that...***

Youth In Revolt - Official Trailer [HD]

First of all, let's be extremely happy that this movie features Alan from 'The Hangover'.

Secondly can we please appreciate Francois Dillinger? Fantastic moustache.

Brittany Murphy died today...RIP

Sad.
TMZ is reporting that her mother found her in the shower and called an ambulance, they decided she was in cardiac arrest and rushed her to the hospital where she was pronounced dead.

She was 32. Very, very sad.

'The Bounty Hunter' Trailer - Gerard Butler - Jennifer Aniston - HD

OH MY GOD this looks awful.

Also - what's with her face? I'm sure she got Botox now, int he first 45 seconds her face looks deranged. Still. Her body is crazy.

Oh wow. It looks so awful.

PS - Gerard Butler - no more awful American accents please.

Blake Lively is not fair

Not that she cheats at Monopoly (as far as I know) or something, but that she's just so damn hot.

I mean, there is something to say to that old rule that you should only exhibit one party of yourself at a time, but damn, she pulls it off.

And seriously, I live just a few hours from NYC, I know how cold it is right now in the North East. She is a brave, brave woman to wear that outfit. I hope someone was ready with a fur-lined cape right after this photo op.

I think I might love her a bit.

Hilarity - Morning style

I just about snort-laughed this morning when the Fug Girls referred to Ashley as "Mr Snuffleupagus' Attorney" in this photo.

Brilliant.

Wow, Nicole Richie looks stunning

She looks amazing as a brunette.

That dress fits her really well and her body looks nicely filled in, thank you 2nd baby whose name I currently forget and am too lazy to Google.

What makes me snicker a bit is that I'm sure the bracelets on her arms are probably the same size that I would need to buy for a ring, for my man hands. Hot.

Brendan Fraser

So, at my job, I buy the jewelry for our stores...among other things.

I was mindblown this morning to discover that Brendan Fraser picked the exact faux-turquoise pendant that I selected for my 40 year-old soccer mom customer to pair with his mullet.

Ours will not be a choker, but clearly, Brendan is fashion-minded and styled himself up. I mean, what other reason is there for a leather jacket of that color, grey mom jeans and a spiky mullet?

Oh Brendan, things are bad. Come back to us...

Seriously though, that pendant is going to sell it's ass off.

MTV's Jersey Shore - GOLDEN TV MOMENTS

You know how sometimes you have no hope for society and feel like life can only be bad?

Jersey Shore makes me feel like that, but oddly, at the same time it makes me have infinite hope for all people who are not in New Jersey.

I was RIVETED by this fantastic production and if you haven't watched it yet, please go ahead and watch it because it will give you a confidence boost like no other. These people are such degenerates, and they spout out some serious gold, such as:

"I'm a bartender. I do great things"
"They don't call me Sammy Sweatheart for nothing"
"I love Guido's who are tanned, juiced and have gelled hair"

And it gets better.
You must watch it. It will give you the most glowing feeling inside...

I mean, just look at these glamorous, classy beauties.


Watch Episodes here!

Scrubs - guy love

This is so me and my BF

Brittany Murphy is way, way too thin and it's scary.

I don't get it.
I really, really don't get it.

Why do people want to be this skinny? It's obviously not healthy and it looks totally disgusting. Like, puke-a-tronic.

When it's a poor girl or woman who is really suffering from an eating disorder, I can't harp, because it's a disease and a mental illness and it's horrible.

But when it's Hollywood making these poor girls and women get thin because everyone needs to be thinner to look better, I have zero tolerance. It's a horrible example to make for young women everywhere and someone needs to do something.

I feel bad for Brittany Murphy. She was a super cute girl. Now she looks sickly.

This is not funny.

Glee - how I love thee

Have I told you lately (or ever) that I love Glee? It's awesome. Love it.

I was a little concerned at first because I thought it was one of those shows that was a little too quirky and fun and that it would get cancelled.

Instead, thank you public, it is a hit! And it's so awesome. Here is a pic of the main men from Glee, from left to right.

Cory Monteith as Finn...he's Canadian, so I instantly like it. I love that he looks like a whiskey bottle just beat him up in this photo. Sharp!

Matthew Morrison as Mr Schue (Will Schuester) who is delightful, a surprisingly good dancer and has cute hair.

And Mark Salling as Puck, who is hotness, but has sullied himself by sleeping with Audrina Partridge from the hills. Yeesh.

Either way, on top of these three, there is a cast of very talented and very funny people on this show...my favourite being Jane Lynch, who is always brilliant.

Watch it. Seriously.

http://www.fox.com/glee/

Weekly Fashion Mishaps...and there are many

Here's a round-up of the week's fashion mishaps...it's not all horrible, but it's definitely not good.

Enjoy!


Ashley Greene:
Yes, we get it. You're in 'Twilight'. You're everywhere. Seriously. And you don't dress that well. Ever. It's kind of annoying. I volunteer to be your stylist. Seriously.

What is this suit? It's like she should be singing in some kind of rag tag vampire themed barbershop quartet? Ugh, it's so, so bad.

Beyonce:
Clearly hasn't washed her hair in 12 years and is wearing a sequined, perfecto/motorcycle jacket style jumpsuit. I seriously need Amy Poehler and Seth Myers here to yell "Really?!?!"

Come on Bey...no good!


Delta Goodrem:
This is some girl with the above name from Australia. Again, calling on Seth & Amy. I actually think she is delightfully cute, but that Peaches 'n' Cream Barbie (come on, you know you had one) coloured dress and those hideous over-the-knee printed boots are really killing it for me. It's not good.


Heidi Klum:
Didn't she just have a baby? Kudos for that, but it's one of the ugliest dresses in the world. Ever. Couldn't she have chosen something less hideous in, say, satin to show us that she is a freak of nature? Really not fair.

The dress is fair though. It makes me feel justified about having back fat. Nice.


Christina Ricci:
Missy - when your hair looks like a knit cap (or toque to Canadians) then you need to do something about it.

The rest I like. It imparts some drama on the blog.


Sharon Stone:
This woman should get an award for simply finding dresses like this. Where does she get them? They're so GD ugly. I bet they cost more than the contents of my closet though. Damn. Maybe I'll go out and get a nude corset dress with a black swiss dot overlay that flows into a tulip skirt.

Let's not forget that jaunty hat...one can't forget that...


Leighton Meister:
Best for last, or worst for last? You be the judge. She looks awfully slutty. That is more eye make-up than I saw at the entire Lady Gaga concert...on everyone. Including the lovely transvestites. Seriously.

And are her feet really tiny? They're freaking me out a little in this picture.

So who was the worst?

poll by twiigs.com

Rachel Bilson Topless - uh. Yah.

This is deeply disturbing.

Imagine?

Rachel Bilson's Deleted Sex Scene from Rachel Bilson

Leo looks like he's going to eat Ellen Page

I have to assume they're filming something here, but don't you see

"A little bit of paprika and steak spice and delish!"

coming out of his mouth a little here?

Yikes.

He has not aged well.

Could Rachel Zoe be more into herself? And fabulous?

So for a little while I've been receiving the Zoe report...I wanted to know what this lady was all about.

First of all, she's insane. It's pretty fun. But anyway, check out her image for her holiday gift guide. It's for 20 items...

I don't know about you, but the gigantic picture of her between the 2 and the 0 automatically made me think there must be a missing number underneath there...because if not she's really, really, really into herself.

Oh. It's just 20 items. Ha ha. God she's tacky.

Lady Gaga hit Montreal

So, Friday night I went to see Lady Gaga with some friends.

It was pretty fab. She puts on a good show. And she attracts a very diverse mish-mash of people...it was definitely fun to be in the mix of those people on the floor.

The costumes were very fun, thought none were as over the top as I was expecting. There were no tears of blood, but all in all it was a good show - even though she nearly fell about 5 times...there were just some momentum issues...it started late and then when it got moving, she sat at the piano for several songs in a row and the energy level sunk...and my feet started to hurt...and I was getting ready to go home...the last few songs saved it though...

Enjoy the pics!

This couple attracted a lot of attention and were very fun. Not everyone has the bum to pull off the thong bodysuit though...

This little gentleman was there with his two boyfriends, they were constantly chasing down divas like the 2 above and, of course, our group. They were, obviously, very excited.

Things that freak me out: The Chastity Belt Edition

This Sunday some friends and I are sitting at lunch (or 2nd breakfast, thanks to the restaurant's service policy) and one of them falls upon this advice column in the paper.

The first story is pretty tame, but if you start at 'Dear Readers' under the writer's name...well, enjoy.

This totally creeped us out! It's a Sunday paper...in the nation's capital, in a pretty conservative city!

For those of you who can't see it, here are the links to this article and the original

Yikes!

Muppets - They make your life better

You can't deny they're hilarious. Let this clip make your day.



Thank you to MK at DListed for making this be.

PS - Beaker made my life in this.

American Music Awards

Apparently the show last night was full of tomfoolery...including simulated oral sex, many near-nip slips and falling all over the place. Fantastic.

Let's talk about it...

Adam Lambert:
This ended the show, but I'll start with it for a couple of reasons: 1 is the alphabet...the other being that it causes quite a stir when he did things like in the above photo. Personally, I think people need to uninstall the sticks they have in their asses, but hey, to each their own.

So he did this, are we really that uptight that we can't deal with it? I mean, come on, it's no secret that some people are into their own sex. Can't we just let them be? Apparently ABC got 1500 complaints about his performance. God, people really suck.

Alicia Keys:
Love the cobalt. It's gorge. I think she could have done a different colour shoe, to make it more interesting, but I'll let it go. It's quite fabulous and fun and it's nice to see someone having a good time, rather than trying too hard (ahem, missy below)


Carrie Underwood:
For real? Is she really wearing this? This girl is so weak. It's a pity she's so pretty because she's just such a loser. She tries so hard and then cutie patootie Taylor Swift kicks her ass every time.

I do not hate the shoes though. Those are nice shoes.

Fergie:
This dress must have been killer heavy. It was studded and covered in zips. I love this zip trend, it's rocking my world (ha ha, lame pun). She looks less wretched than normal...I think it's the lack of disgusting faux tan and the softer blush...nice.

Jennifer Lopez:
This photo is so awkward, I love it. Apparently she fell. On her very famous butt. Fantastic. And apparently it was really uncomfortable. This morning, she was on Ryan Seacrest's show and she claimed the fall was planned.

I understand pride, I have some, but I do not get why people lie about stuff like that. You fell, it's ok, people fall. Don't try to cover it up after...it's like those people who look behind them at the ground after they trip...like it's the ground's fault.


Janet:
It's really nice that she used that suitcase to make her dress. I guess it's nice to the environment because she's not killing more animals for her clothes. Either way. It's a little too Pocahontas-y for me...she's fab though...no?


Kelly Clarkson:
Apparently some mother of the bride lent her the dress from the evening portion of her daughter's wedding...WTF is that?!? Is that really knee length? Isn't she in her 20's? Oh my god. It's really a tragedy when cute people wear stupid clothes. That must have weighed a ton too...so not worth the effort.

Oh my god. Sheer nylons. I'm going to have a stroke.


Kristen Bell:
Holy awkward leg position Batman! Seriously...that doesn't make anyone look any thinner or better...don't do that. Unless you really have to pee and you're in a snowsuit and your mom is not ready to let you in from outside...Couldn't someone have taken her to a bathroom?

The dress is kind of fab though. I like that cut out. No one is fat there, it's practical.


Lady Gaga:
I'm going to see this crazy lady on Friday. I hope she doesn't wear anything like this, I actually want to sleep that night. Is that an ace bandage underwear going on there? It's not good, and it looks very uncomfortable. Oh my god she's weird.


Leona Lewis:
She looks like she has chunky legs. I'm sure she doesn't, but she has booties on and it's really, really not flattering to her.

The dress reminds me of most of the costumes from the Batman franchise when George Clooney was Batman and everything was shinier and stupider. No good.


Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban:
Apparently she was touching her stomach all night...and there was some kind of bump. Do you even care? I think I'm suffering from a bit of baby overload...everyone is frigging pregnant or had a baby. Enough already.

Her dress is icky. It looks like so many things that she's worn already and I feel like she could have worn a short skirt...wouldn't you wear something short if you had Nicole Kidman's legs?

On another vein, why does she always marry men who are pretty? It's weird.


Rihanna:
While her shoes are terrible, I LOVE the dress. It's super fun and out there without being stupid (ahem, CU). I love the cut-outs, they're so pretty.

Her eye make-up is a bit insane, but I like it. Only she could pull it off. Well, she and Gaga, but she's better at it.

Those shoes are hurting my soul though, god they're horrific.

Selena Gomez:
I think that's who this is...she's a Disney kid, right? I don't know. I'm just happy that this seemingly very young woman is dressed like a young woman and not like some slutty, buck-toothed, pole-dancing tart. Those shoes are wretched though...are they from Payless?

Shakira:
This girl is very tacky. I don't know if it's her South American-ness, but she's horrifically tacky. That dress is gross...the boots are lame...and the faux sleeves are really just too stupid for me...

I like it though...at least she commits to it.

No Clue:
I have zero clue who this is, but her shoes are blowing my mind. They're so over-the-top ridiculous.
The dress is the wrong colour, all over the place, but she's pulling off the shape, so good for her.

Those shoes though...yeesh.

Sofia Vergara:
I don't know who this is, but her breasts are spectacular! Good for her!

Toni Braxton:
She's so little. That dress is so 90's...but so is she. Remember that song? And that video? I don't have a clue what they are, but it was funny. She was wearing a white catsuit and she had it unzipped (ha ha, a zipper!) down to her navel. Oh, the times.


Whitney Houston:
Apparently she was awesome. Good for her. I like to see people come from crack to success...it's nice. She's rocking that dress too. Good for her.

Remember the 90's when Jason Priestly was hot?

Remember in the 1990's when Jason Priestly was the hotness on 90210? Ok, he was short, but still cute and Brandon had such a good guy quality.

Here's a picture of him and Tiffany Theissen at some recent event. She hasn't aged a day in 10 years. Congrats.

He, however, looks like he just moved from the bush and was just yesterday murdering crows for his lunch. Yeesh.

Is he trying to do the Brad Pitt thing and be bushy? I can't help but think that TT is laughing at him in this photo because he's so ridiculous.

My trip to LA...and the celebrities I saw

So, last week I was shipped off to LA to shop for samples. I know, sounds harrowing, right? Not really, life is quite lovely when we're doing shopping trips.

I have good celebrity karma so I knew I would see someone...just wasn't sure. By the 3rd day I was starting to get cranky and we were in Santa Monica so I wasn't counting on anyone...then my boss decided we should go to the Ivy for lunch...despite us wanting to go for sushi.


We sat on the patio and a couple walked in a few minutes later. After a few seconds I realized it was Dennis Quaid. He has taken much sun, friends. Much sun. And clearly isn't into the dermi visits to help it out. Still hotness though. Very hot. His wife is a tiny person and she's very young looking.

Then, on the plane home, Randy Jackson (of American Idol fame) was in first class. I didn't realize it even, mostly because I knew I was trudging to the back of the plane for the 6 hour flight. Then my seat-mate mentioned it. He seemed very low key, didn't require a lot of attention in customs here in Montreal.

So that's it. Aside from that I got a spray tan before going and ended up with some serious Cheeto Feet. I am pumicing the hell out of these babies.

Oh My - Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are touching hands

I won't say holding hands, because they're obviously not...but this is going to make some of those Twilight Freaks' heads explode.

Yeesh.

"Now Robsten is REEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL!"

I am really busy, how do these people find the time to be that obsessed with something? I barely have enough time to be in love with my husband!