Dear Jen,
This must have been a rough weekend for you. Your movie is coming out this week and his new lady goes and gets a C-section. Can she stop trying to one-up you, for the love of god? No, but you know why? Because they know you're better than them.
Yah, she has pillow lips and a crazy curvy body, but you have fantastic hair and a kick-ass tight body. She is well known as a brother-kissing, hillbilly-marrying, blood-drinking vixen. You, on the other hand, are known as the perfect, sun-kissed, American beauty.
And look how cute you and Vince look! I love the size difference, I love the goofiness. You guys are so cute! AND, you are actually modest and stay out of the public eye, instead of traipsing around the globe like media ho's.
Although I know everyone is buzzing about Shiloh, you are still the hotness.
Don't fret, my pet, it will all be better soon,
XOX,
Sara
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