As some of you may know, Tom Cruise and Stroke-Mouth Holmes are going to have an alien baby soon. This poor child is going to be so screwed up. Imagine your dad is some wired weirdo who believes in aliens, AS HIS RELIGION? First, according to Scientology, Stroke-Mouth has to go through labor SILENTLY (ha ha), then the following happens:
"In Scientology, mother and child are separated for days after birth to reduce trauma and provide time to recover, says a source. The mother is discouraged from holding or cuddling the child. "The baby should not be bathedº or chilled but should be wrapped somewhat tightly in a warm blanket, very soft, and then left alone for a day or so*," Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard wrote in a Dec. 20, 1958, bulletin titled "Processing a New Mother."
º Yes, let's keep the mucus and afterbirth all over the baby. That sounds lovely. Maybe, if we're lucky, some germs will grow on the warm gooey stuff and disease the baby! On 2nd thought, let's behave like a pregnant prom queen and leave the baby in a high school bathroom.
* Does anyone else think this sounds insane? Leaving a NEWBORN baby alone for a day "or so"? What the shit is "or so"? Um, I believe when people do that they're normally arrested! Where is CHILD SERVICES??!?!?
Fucking tard.
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