Audrina Partridge:So, I watch 'The Hills' now. I didn't back-watch anything, but I did think it would be a good idea, pop culturally, if I kept up to date on the goings on...plus, watching it makes me feel better as a person, and worse - because they're SO much richer than me. It evens out to ok.
Anyhoo. I hate Audrina. She is as dumb as a bag of hammers. It's a bit ridiculous. And while I think her shoes are ridiculous enough to be wearable works of art here, I hate her dress and want to cut it up. It's too shiny and it doesn't seem to fit her and it clashes majorly with the shoes. PLUS! She's totally going to get back with Justin-Bobby (ew - could you EVER date a guy with that name?)
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson:Mmm, just me or is getting old? Not that he doesn't look fantastic. And those jeans are a perfect shade of indigo...but ye olde face looks stretched and his eyes look wrinklier than normal. Or are they pulled with a face lift? His old boss Vince McMahon was never shy about getting a little nip and tuck...is DJ doing it too?
Jason Segal:For reals, this guy needs a shower, so badly. For the past year+ he has looked super gross. It started with 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' and then continued on 'How I Met Your Mother'...it's just not nice to look at. And really, can someone please wash his hair?
I don't care what kind of genius he is. Gross. Period.
Jersey Shore BOYS!!!:I cannot wait for the season premiere of this show. It's going to be such a gross mess. I mean, LOOK AT HOW THEY DRESS? What reality do they live in? It's not one that I am familiar with!
So cheesy! So fantastic. And there are reports that they're going to have trouble editing this season because The Situation has been such a pain in the ass that they have almost no material for a show. Can't wait!!!
Jersey Shore GIRLS!:Snooki and JWoww are obviously the stars of this franchise, and the other 2 are just jealous. Especially Sami. F-ck, I hate Sami. I mean, who wears a white dress with lace cut outs? What planet are these people from? It's incredible. It's like they take all their fashion advice from strippers.
Jessica Biel:Oy, she needs to eat something. And have a little more fun. Come on, I know it's dead on trend, but a full buttoned blouse to an awards show like this? The skirt would have been way more fun with a more casual top. Then she would have killed it.
Her hair looks magnificent though. Really thick and healthy. I don't get how these girls don't eat and then have hair like that. It's really not fair.
Jonah Hill:I was very disappointed to read recently that Jonah Hill is kind of a dick who thinks he's entitled to butt in lines because he's a celebrity. That makes me a bit sad. However, doesn't make him less funny. Has anyone seen 'Get Him To The Greek'? Is it good? Do tell.
JWoww:I couldn't just do the shot of them in the car, what honour is there in that? Look how glamourous she is in that pink lace dress. For real. Porn star clothes. I think it's from her fashion line, if I'm not mistaken. I forget what it's called, something really, really tacky. Just a sec, Google.
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Oh YESSS! Thank god I follow her on Twitter: http://filthycouture.com/
Come ON
The worst part is, you know she thinks because it's lace and it's pink that she looks classy and feminine. Hee hee!
Stephanie Pratt:Seriously. This girl's legs give me nightmares. They're so thin. And to be really frank, her dress is FUGLY. I want straight hair though...lately captain humidity has been giving me some trouble and I'm walking around with poufiness. Sucks.
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