Anyhoo, let's talk about people at the Oscars! Here we go!
Alicia Keys:Wow, she is posing oddly. I don't know what's going on here, but it is making her look like she has a pot belly. Noooooottttt flattering at all. This lavender-ish color seems to be really popular season, it's nice and fresh, but it looks better on other people. And, can she do anything else with her hair and make-up? It's always the same.
Amanda Seyfried:
Was she in something that wasn't offensive to the eyes/ears this year? Because the only thing I can remember is 'Mamma Mia' and I think we all know that sucked. Is it just me or does she look like the adult version of Dakota Fanning? I don't care for those shoes with that dress...especially with that high-low hem...and the dress, well, it's boring. The color is too close to the carpet and it doesn't seem to fit her very well.
Amy Adams:
This girl is cute. I actually love her dress, I just wish it wasn't in that color. It's kind of bla, especially on a similarly red carpet. I luuurve that neclace. It's gorge. It should probably be mine. I hope Club Monaco or JCrew copies it. It looks like something they'd do. I must say though, in other pics, her eyes look kind of bloodshot, like she hot boxed on the drive in or something.
Angelina Jolie:
Is it wrong that I'm happy Brad Pitt didn't win the Oscar? I heard from too many people that he wasn't that great and after seeing both 'Milk' and 'The Wrestler' I'm glad those 2 swept the awards this season.
Ok, on to Angie...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sorry. I fell asleep there while she was wearing her 9 millionth black dress of her life. I know they were saying this year's Oscars were supposed to be subdued but she couldn't muster another neutral? COME ON. IT'S ENOUGH ALREADY.
I love that her hair kind of looks like the guy's behind her (to the right). Hee hee.
Anne Hathaway:
I'm glad that Anne seems to have eaten something since the last awards show. Her head looks a lot less lolly and a lot more Hollywood normal. She looks really happy, which is cute. And I love that dress. It might be a bit glitzier than everyone else's, but it's pretty and I love that. The lipstick is good too.
Beyonce:
Ugh. Tell me this is House of Dereon because if any other designer created something this tacky I might barf. It's so obviously designed for her too, because all that solid black on the bodice is to camoflage her curves. And why can't she pose? Her arms always look so Barbie'd. Yuck.
Diane Lane & Josh Brolin:
Some men look good with facial hair. Some don't. I really don't feel JB looks good with his fc. He looks like an old west bartender or something. Diane looks pretty as always, but her dress doesn't seem to be fitting her properly. It looks like it's falling off a bit. And it's got a yawn-y Angelina Jolie vibe to it. Hate the lipstick too. Ick.
Evan Rachel Wood:
I love everything except her hair. That pomp is killing me. Dress is lovely and I'm jealous she's that pale and still can wear it. I would blend into the dress and end up looking like human curtains. She's cute. I hope she has a long red carpet life. She tries hard. I like that.
Frieda Pinto:
I love the color. It's really beautiful. But I'm really unsure about the one sleeve. It seems pretty unnecessary and could have definitely been lovely without. It's hard to say anything bad though, she's just so pretty.
Heidi Klum:
Heidi has shown up 2 years in a row in something red, satin and sweeping. It's a bit much. And this year I feel she looks like an extra from Star Trek's Space Ball episode. The hair is too sleek, the dress too angular.
Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer:
I'm really disappointed in the wimp out and cannot believe she didn't walk down the red carpet looking like that. If I looked like that I'd never sleep and I'd be walking up and down the streets of Montreal doing the pageant wave. Seriously. She looks so petite. It's really cute. Sad at her though. Yes, I said at her.
Jessica Biel:
Um. Most of you know I love her. I really do. She has a hot ass body and great lips and normally looks a lot better than this. I don't know what's going on with her hair, or if it's an attempt to look more casual to downplay the glam, but it looks like mine after I have had a mid afternoon nap because I drank too much while eating lunch on a terrasse. Yikes. And the dress is very unpleasant. Very. It's boring, yellowish and sateen. Ick.
Kate Winslet:
I am so happy she finally got an Oscar. If she hadn't won I think there would have been a riot. Seriously. I'm not loving the awkwardness of the neckline, but I'll take what I can get. The color is simple and lovely and I like the lace overlay on the left because it's unexpected. She's so pretty. I love her. Can we make her the Skankopolis Goddess?
Leslie Mann:
I'm not sure why they let her attend the Oscars...I mean, I think the think she's most remembered for is the scene in '40 year-old Virgin' when she is wasted driving home and then barfs in his mouth. Right?
She's quite pretty and I do love the dress, but still. Let's be a bit more picky with the guest list please. There are a lot of people I would have preferred to see over this woman.
Lisa Rinna:
I'm quite certain the word 'natural' doesn't ever pass through Lisa Rinna's head. I wouldn't be surprised, actually, if she wasn't fully clear on what the word means. When your hair looks like you just took the curlers out, your lips look like someone's ass is definitely injected into them and your breasts look like grapefruits on your ridiculously tanned body, I'm pretty sure that word isn't in your vernacular. She scares me.
Maria Menounos:
I think people might call me crazy, but I don't find this girl particularily pretty. I find her cute, don't get me wrong, but stunning? Pretty? Beautiful? No. Cute. Definitely cute. The dress is a little contrived and I'm not crazy about the boning on the bodice, but the bottom is nice. Just a little much.
Marion Cotillard:
She looks so pretty. And nice. Doesn't she look like she would be sweet and offer you gum? I like this dress a lot more than last year's mermaid-y thing. Aww. I want to be her pen pal. Ha ha! Pen pal!
Marisa Tomei:
Oh thank heavens she improved from that weirdo pirate look of last time. I love this dress. It's gorge. She looks so nice and relaxed too, love her hair. Very nice. Lovely. Love her. Look at all that panelling at the hem! Ohhh, the workmanship alone is making me drool. Wow. I wish I could afford something that took that much workmanship. Mmm. Love this.
Melissa George:
You know those things that come off of dandelions when they turn white? This is what I picture they look like close up. I think they did that already in Fantasia, like, 60 years ago. No? Also, who is this? What is she in? Why is she invited? I'm confused. Hold me.
Miley Cyrus:
Above I talked about Marion Cotillard's dress from last year. This dress looks like what would have happened to it if someone wanted to rip it off but not be too obvious. And of course not as nice. This is fug. Especially that belt. Why is she there? I don't understand the invitees. Weird. Too young. NEXT!
Natalie Portman:
Remember earlier I mentioned that lavender-y color? Here it is done with a bubblegum pink tinge. And it looks better. I love the beading on the bodice (I have said that word 3 times already. I never say that). I love her subtle hair and make-up. I just plain love her, actually. She's the best.
Penelope Cruz:
This dress looks vaguely like some really fancy curtains my nana had in her formal living room. It was the one my dad and grandfather weren't allowed to go in. They were always tinkering with something and dirty. I'm glad she won, because she was apparently very good, but this dress is really not my thing. Too princessy. Relax a bit.
Robin Wright-Penn & Sean Penn:
I'm so glad he won! He was so good in 'Milk'. So good. She looks beautiful as always and will forever be the beautiful Princess Buttercup to me. I like her hair too. It's kind of 70's fun.
Sarah Jessica Parker:
What is this? I don't like it! Since when does she have enough boobs to have cleavage like that? This looks like a costume in Lord of The Rings? One of the elvish people. Matthew Broderick looks nauseous and I wouldn't be surprised if it was from this dress. Yuck.
Taraji P Henson:
I'm not sure if that's how you write her name, but I love this woman. Love her hair, love her glowing skin and this is the first mermaid dress of the night that I've liked. Love it. I think this is my #1. Or tied for it with Marisa Tomei.
Vanessa Hudgens:
Rumour has it she threw a fit when she arrived because her "boyfriend" stepped on her train. Hey, hissy fit, go home. You're 14. Who invited you anyway? Ugh. Also, I hate this dress.
Virginia Madsen:
Lainey (laineygossip.com) made a joke that she thought this woman was Mary Hart. Ha ha. Could die laughing. Also, now can't differentiate in my head. Looks like Heidi Klum's dress, non?
I'm quite certain I'll be posting again because I feel like I missed out on a lot of important people...
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