Grammy's

Oh the Grammy's. Yet another opportunity for us to judge people by how they look for several hours at a time. Well! How else do you judge people unfairly?! (If you have a trick, let me know)


Tia Carrere:
Part of me is worried that might be a jumpsuit with a pants bottom. I'm going to pretend it's not, because that will make me feel better about the state of things. If anyone sees a picture of it possibly being a pants-jumper - please send it to me!

Rihanna:
Clearly this is before the rumoured assault against her. She was looking beautiful at the Clive Davis annual pre-Grammy party. I'm not loving that navajo pattern on her dress, but I refuse to say anything bad about someone who has been treated the way this poor girl was treated. No one deserves that, and I hate that Access Hollywood is trying to justify it by saying Chris Brown's parents were abusive. Not an excuse.

Phoebe Price:
Those are some wonk-ass eyes to go with my sister's best friend's prom dress from 1990. Oh, and my great nana's pillbox hat from way before them. Yeesh.

Nikki Cox:
That's some lingerie-inspired hot mess going on there. Yeesh. And matching shoes? Really?!
I think it's going to happen soon - I think society will get sick and tired of seeing women who are RIDICULOUSLY fit with implants, too-dark tans and long hair. It's been too long, since before 'Friends' finished! There's got to be a new evolution soon...

Marissa Miller:
Contrary to what I said above, I don't think anyone will ever get sick of naturally beautiful, tall, Victoria's Secret models. I think we can all be jealous as hell of her, but never sick of her. She is who I wish I could look like. Damn! She is so hot! Love the dress...and the shoes! I've been looking for shoes like that for forever...


Lisa Rinna:
Aww, how elegant. She took out her favorite hair scrunchie for this event. The dress is some hot mess. Cut aggressively up to her vag, cut down to her belly button...is nothing sacred? Oh my god, I've had one too many G&T's. Since when am I the virgin Mary? Still, tacky is tacky.

Leann Rimes:
Gross. Gross posture, gross colors, gross hair, gross make-up. Gross indecency. Really unpleasant and not at all called for. The only part I like is that metallic belt region. That is wicked. The rest is really terrible.

Kelly Clarkson:
The problem with this girl, is she's cute. She's naturally heavier than she tries to be and she keeps trying to be on album covers. And she looks amazing on her album covers (ok, granted - who wouldn't want to?), and then horrible in public. Like, did she even do her hair? Yikes. That color is also a tad too Smurfy for me.

Kate Beckinsale:
Considering this woman's stature on this page, you all know I love her. But did she think she was going to the Oscar's? Holy hell!!! This is some serious overdressing for an awards show you are not at all involved in...also, for one where people really dress down. Oh my. I'm not saying she doesn't look gorgeous, but she should have saved that dress for a couple of months. Wow. Too much.

Kim Kardashian:
The only words that come to me are: Tinkerbell sprinkled with coke.

Duffy:
I cannot for the life of me picture who I'm thinking of, or from what, but she looks like she should be renting me books from a large, wood filled, dusty library while speaking in a weird frog voice. If Kate Beckinsale overdid it, Duffy majorly under-did it.

Carrie Underwood:
She is undeniably pretty, but apparently a wicked bitch. Where did she happen to grab that mother of the bride dress? I don't hate it, but I really, really don't love it. It makes me oddly sleepy.

No clue:
Can head bands please stop being worn? Please. That is all.

Brooke Hogan:
I feel like I am going to burn in hell, because, well, I like this dress. The color is gorge, the cut is a bit whorey but the color and drape beat out the whoriness. The hair is soft (if not a bit too bleach + roots). Hmm.

I'm going to go slit my wrists now.