Tool.
Anyway, other people were there and I'd like to talk about what they wore and how they looked, so shall we?
Alessandra Ambrosio:So silly hot that it's not fair. When my computer was being a retard and taking forever just to give me the window to save the picture, I was examining her face and decided it is fantastic. I want it. Oh, and her legs, ass, stomach and shoes.
Amanda Bynes:Can someone please get this girl another look? Seriously. It's the same thing she wears to everything, the only difference is that she looks seriously drugged on something and her lipstick is majorly fugly. And her hair is pretty gross. Ick.
Amber Rose (and Douche Extraordinaire, Kanye):This girl is weird. And to be honest, I don't care for seeing her underboob as much as I can. Ok, yes, you have a juicy, curvy body. Do I have to look at your genitals all the time though? Enough with the GD spandex. And really, really? A snakeskin print bodysuit? That's what you wear? Ugh. She's douchier than he is.
Ashley Greene:Wow, she clearly got this out of a Delia's catalog circa 1996...It's really, really bad. Even the shoes...that skirt is so $14.99 and the rest all together is just bad. I don't even have another word for it. It's just really, really, REALLY bad. Poor her. She's so pretty.
Beyonce:Any of you who watched the show know that Beyonce saved the night. After Kanye's douchebag move, she won an award and then promptly called out Taylor Swift to give her the moment she deserved in the spotlight.
I actually said aloud, to myself in my living room, "Wow, she's a classy lady." And previously, I hadn't thought that at all. Very nice move Bey. Very nice.
Jennifer Lopez:Super ugly dress. Super wretched lip gloss. But no one makes a face like JLo. Wow. She can pose up a storm. Her hair was weird too. Ponytail, braided a few inches and then ponytail again. Still, made me want thicker hair. Whore.
Keri Hilson:I don't know who this is, and in fact mistook her for Ciara until I saw her name written somewhere.
Not impressed.
Katy Perry:She looked good last night, but won nothing. The camera cut to her a million times though, and she was with some extremely icky looking Twilight Volturi dude. Not good. He had a weird chain link bow tie on. Gross.
Kristen Cavalari:She didn't sleep with John Mayer. Ok?! There are rumours floating around that she and John Mayer have been doing sexy times together for 2 years. Both are denying it but lots of gossip majors are saying it's true. Either way.
She's a very pretty girl and this outfit was cute, but she could have stopped at the eye make-up. I find with the rest of the look it's too much.
PS - How awesome was it when Russel Brand totally mispronounced her name "cavalri"?
Lady Gaga:You know what would be way more shocking? If she showed up in a BCBG dress or something. Wouldn't you lose it? Anyhoo. Above is her red carpet outfit. It looks vaguely painful. She also wore the below outfit to accept her award, but it was so silly even she ripped it off after a few seconds of trying to emote with that on.
She had other silly ones, but I don't like to encourage idiots, so I won't show them.
I will give her props for saying her awards was for the gays though. Good girl.
Lauren Conrad:She has done, way, way better. But those legs! Damn. I want super tan legs. I hate this stupid climate and it's stupid non-summer.
The hair is bad and the dress belongs in Ann Taylor Loft or someone's office social on a Wednesday afternoon. Icky.
Leighton Meister:She looks really fucked up here, but she's still so pretty.
But, like, coke, right? Fucked up!
Maria Menounos:That smile makes me want to punch her in the brain. It's so childlike (in a bad, obnoxious way) and in your face. Look! Look! I'm cute!
Tee hee!
Yah, tee f-ing hee. Shut up.
Pink & Shakira:Same dress? I wonder whose major F up this was? Pink, as always, looks kind of dude-ish in it, but I still think she looks better than Shakira, just because Shakira's hair is annoying me. Not sure why. Just is.
Did you see Pink's performance? Crazy! I can't believe she could belt out that song like that while swinging around in the air!
Taylor Swift:The poor, poor girl. She's only little! Ok, she's really tall, but look how gangly and cute she is. She's wearing gown. Amateur move, but cutely amateur, no? Kanye is such a dick and I hope this girl gets even more popular because of his dickery.
Whitney Port:
Um, not sure I like the dress, but it's interesting. And she looks REALLY happy, so there must be something good about it.
On second glance, I don't hate it, I just don't love the transparent bit at the bottom.
Still.
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