The 2009 Emmy's - or Neil Patrick Harris is wonderful

Well, it was the Emmy's on Sunday night. In general, the consensus around the blogs and fashion sites is that people played it safe. Boring safe. I have to agree.

The show was pretty lame. If not for the ever-wonderful Neil Patrick Harris, it would have been a major dud. The same people won...30 Rock, Alex Baldwin, Mad Men, etc.

But really, all we care about is the hair, make-up, clothing and accessories of the people who attended, so let's get to that.

Alyson Hannigan:
She just had a baby. Like, just. She looks really good. I'm also really happy to see her back to red hair...she had dark brownish black for the past little while and it was really blah. That dress looks like something someone left aside after last year's Oscars because it wasn't exciting enough...it's a little too formal for the Emmy's, and it's black. Like, really? Black? Blech.

Big Bang Theory people:
I don't actually know any of their names, but this show is really, really funny. For 2 years I saw little bits of it and was very against it. Eventually my friend forced my hub and I to download and we're so happy we did. It's really funny. That girl has a crazy sick body. It's annoying. And her hair is wonderful (as you can see).

Also, I love that dress.

Blake Lively:
I think I might switch off Kate Beckinsale and replace her with Blake Lively as our goddess. I love me some BL. She is so hot! Look at her boobs! They're just staying there! I was mesmerized when she came onto the stage on Sunday night. I couldn't stop looking.

I think I might love her.

Chloe Sevigny:
Thanks for doing your hair, you douche.

I don't hate your dress, for once.

Christina Applegate:
I subscribe to Women's Health under the guise that I am healthy. I started to at a time when I was healthy and now things have declined steadily since then and I don't have the heart to stop.

Anyhoo, this month CA is on the cover and the story is mainly about how strong a woman she is. She had a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery because of breast cancer. She talked about how the (grr) media found out before she was ready and she had a lot of trouble dealing with that.

I have always liked her, but now I love her more. Even if this dress is awkward and not so great, still love her.

Christina Hendricks:
This is the saucy receptionist from 'Mad Men'. I have never seen it, but I want to. It's next on my list. She is very busty. Like, very. To the point that it makes her head seem tiny. Or is that just me? No matter when I see this woman I feel like her head looks too small for the rest of her. Not saying she's not gorge, but pea headed, no?

Debra Messing:
What a shame she wore a dress the exact same color as the red carpet...still she looks great. Her hair is a little blah, but she still looks like she's been eating and that's important to me. Make-up is fab.

Drew Barrymore:
This dress sucks. It looks the outfit of a doll you'd find at a questionable dollar store. I will, however, give her props for having that nasty dip-dyed black hair up in a twist so we don't have to be subjected to it.

Elisabeth Moss:
Here's my reaction: "mehh."

Seriously sleepy. As in satin sheets that have been balled up at the foot of your bed because, let's face it, you're not sexy.

Ginnifer Goodwin:
I have serious issues with her hair. It is quite terrible and looks like it should be on a character from 'Revolutionary Road'. Yeesh.

The rest is exciting, but looks to me to be a rip-off of Cam 'the man' Diaz's look at the Costume Institute gala a while back. Exhibit A.

Ginnifer. You can do better all around. Go for it.

Hayden 'I want to be an old lady' Pannettiere:
Seriously, why does she insist on attempting to be an older woman all the time? She is a young, tiny, cute thing that should be wearing fun things. Instead she wears things out of an Elizabeth Taylor 'White Diamonds' commercial. Jesus.

Also - really? That lipstick with that dress?

PS - Fun fact: when I write her name, my browser prompts me to correct her name to 'pantyliner'. Hee hee!

Seal & Heidi Klum:
I know I'm exaggerating, but I feel like this woman is always pregnant. She does look good and is rocking that pregnancy majorly, but oh my god. Close the womb for business woman!

What is with Seal constantly looking like his suits are made by Hot Topic? They're always rumpled and emo-ish without any polish. Ok, maybe it's only this time, but still!

Jamie Lynn Sigler:
I like this. THIS is what Hayden Pantyliner should be wearing. But, I will say this. JLS looks great in it. Her shoulders look awesome and her hips look fantastic. Dreamy even. Can I have her skin color? Is that a Mystic Tan thing, or is it because I'm Canadian that my skin never looks like that?

Did anyone find her looking really gaunt in the last Entourage?

January Jones:
It really bugs me that this girl's name is January. I will, however, forgive all name blights in light of her uber fantastic dress.

This thing is stunningly gorgeous, it fits her amazingly and it's not red. I think this might be my favourite of the night. For reals.

Jenna Fischer:
Why does her hair look like I did it? Doesn't she make any money on 'The Office'? Other than that she is super cute and looks nice, although if the dress was cobalt blue it would have blown my mind. The black is slightly blah, but I'll take it.

Jennifer Love (size 2/Tennis wedges) Hewitt:
I loathe this girl/woman. But holy hell do I want her hair. Goddam. Annoyingly, I actually find her dress kind of refreshing, the color is nice and unexpected and it's beautifully flowy and soft. It's just too bad she's such a douche. Ugh.

Jennifer Morrison:
I normally like Fransisco Rodrigues' Calvin Klein...but this is awful. It looks like someone tailored it in the limo beforehand. Those darts at the hip are dreadful. Ugh. So much unneeded volume...the beautiful clean lines aren't there and it's awkward and clumpy instead.

Best pinky-red of the night though, stunning.

Jessica Lange:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Oh my god, lay off the plastic surgery or hot oil dripping on your face. The results are horrific!

Jon Cryer:
It's actually kind of a pity that you can't see the bumble-bee vest better in this picture. It was so, so awful. Especially to see this guy win over NPH...and for a third time in four years or something. I cannot stand '2 and a Half Men', it is retarded. It makes me barf and is so dumbed down for the retards of the world that I cannot believe he's winning awards for doing the same thing episode after episode. 'Ooh, I'm awkward. My brother is a ladies' man!' Woo f-ing hoo.

Jon Krasinski:
Cute! Beautifully cut Prada suit and his hair looks decent. I normally find his facial features grossly oversized, like Shrek, but today he looks cute. Very nice.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus:
Very lovely. She looks f-ing fantastic. Not even just for her age. For anyone. She dresses her body well, is hilarious and just generally lovely. I want her to be my friend. Can anyone hook that up? I feel like we would drink cocktails well together...

Justin Timberlake:
I don't get the transformation. I thought we established that shaved head = hot, while curly hair = 90's boy band cute...Good for him in a way because he reverse aged by 10 years with this look, but at the same time the combination of that and his glasses when he presented was not good. He looked like a super dork. And not a hot one.

Someone trim the guy's head. For serious. Right now. Where is Trace Ayala? Help your friend!

Kara DioGuardi:
Had to Google the name...could never have spelled that on my own. Why does she always wear things that look vaguely like bathrobes?

I have decided I hate her. That will be all Kara.

Kate Walsh:
From the front this thing is fairly awesome. But I've heard rumours about the back...rumours you can see a sneak peek of right now...it seems like it may have love handle cut-outs. Ick. I hate love handle cut-outs. Mostly because I have love handles. But still, they're awkward. It's an odd part of one's body to want to show off...no?

Other than that I find it quite lovely...I find she looks suspiciously like that Carpenter lady who married Dexter with that hair...and am wondering aloud if she couldn't have put it up or something, but whatever. It's not too shabby.

Kristen Chenowith:
I had the misfortune of listening to this woman after she won an award. First of all, I'm pretty sure she lives in a shoe box under someone's bed because she is tiny, but secondly, she kept spurting out how heavy the thing is, maybe if she ate something she wouldn't have felt so burdened by the award...lord.

Apparently when she got backstage she had to call a doctor because she got a severe migraine and almost passed out. Can anyone say coke withdrawal?

Ha ha, love starting rumours.

Leighton Meester:
That is some hot mess clown make-up going on there. She and Blake Lively hit the stage together and for such a pretty girl, she looked awful compared to Blake. Her make-up was too much, but everywhere. Heavy eyes, bold lips, streaky blush, 'dewy' (read: sweaty) face...yikes.

And that dress did her no favours. The shoulder area is odd, and she looks like she kind of hates it. I like the white though...I really do. But wow. Really could have done better.

Mariska Hargitay:
This woman is so lovely. I am very impressed by her look. So well put together, not a hair out of place, very appropriate. Boring though, because nothing to make fun of.

Ha ha, booooo!

Mary-Louise Parker:
Forgot her pants! Ha ha, so funny! Not really though. She has a great body and is wonderful on 'Weeds', but I don't find this shorter dress apropos and the shoes are kind of gaudy because of the exposure. Had it been a column coming from the same top, beautiful. This way, a little Winsor Fashions tacky.

Mila Kunis:
I dunno. She's too pretty for me to get mad, but the tulle skirt is so lame.

The colour is nice, rich, but the dress itself is kind of terrible. The shoes are great. But with jeans and a going-out top of some kind.

Nope, don't like the dress.

Neil Patrick Harris:
How can you not love this guy? If you don't, I'm labelling you a homophobic stupid-head. He's so wonderful and cute and other good things. And the opening number was so fun! He can really sing. Like, Hugh Jackman sing. Ha ha.

I love him. LOVE.

Olivia Wilde:
I love Marchesa. Love. Such gorgeous dresses. I don't get how Georgina Chapman ever has sex with her husband, but as long as she keeps designing these stunning masterpieces of gowns, I don't care.

And for once, the netting doesn't look figure skater, it's just elegant and subtle.

Lovely. LOVE. LY.

Padma Lakshmi:
I have no clue who this woman is, but I'm constantly seeing her ripped to pieces on red carpets, so I thought I'd throw her and her chesticles in. Not exactly classy, right?

Yeesh.

Rob Lowe:
How cute is he? He is much older than he used to be (duh) and is still hot. He is carrying the hotness like a Robert Redford...but with less sun damage.

Also loved the self deprecating humour about passing up 'Grey's Anatomy' for a lame series he did (that was promptly cancelled) called 'Dr Vegas'. Mmm. He's cute and stuff.

Sandra Oh:
I want to get her a sandwich. Her head looks ridiculous perched atop that teeny body. Come on. The dress is nice, another Pantyliner would'a-could'a-should'a...

But really, eat something. Anything.

Sarah Silverman:
I'm going to give her funniest moment for (when nominated) wearing a gross fake moustache and looking all forlorn-ly into the distance and not laughing. It was very good.

I will also give her 2nd funniest moment for wearing this fugly-ass dress. WTF?! What is with the hip area?

Gahh.

No! No! Bad Sara Silverman! NO!

Tina Fey:
I love her. So much. She's so damn funny. And pretty. And real life. I love the scar under her mouth, I love that 'meert' is part of my vocab because of her. I LOVE HER. You should love her too. Watch her show.

Toni Collette:
I just wanted to point out that I think she kind of looks like a praying mantis and it bugs me.

Also, that dress is another throwback to Cam the man's dress. Boo.

Will Arnett & Amy Poehler:
Love them. Love that they're married. Love that she's not anorexically thin immediately after having a baby. Love that she presented with Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Love that he was on 'Arrested Development'.

Love.

The end.