Jessica Simpson - whining

Always whining and complaining that she's not in love. Shut up. You're the ho who cheated on your husband for a cheap thrill with a skinny dude.

Here are potential reasons why you do not have a boyfriend:
1) You leave the house with your face and hair looking like this
2) You have out with your pervy dad, A LOT
3) This outfit. What in the name of god told you that these boots went with this top and hat? Fuck me.