Word is that celebrities will be conservatively dressed this year because of the recession, but since most aren't feeling it, I'm sure they won't be. I guess we'll see.
Seeing as these awards don't really matter because Mariah already had the best acceptance speech of the year...let's just judge them on their outsides.
Consider it done!
PS - in order to get it out fast for my people, I had to take stamped pics from my agency...sorry!
Alyson Hannigan:
I'm kind of bored by her outfit and I'm annoyed that she's the alphabetic first of my post. Blah hair, black satin strapless dress which is snore-tastic. Annoying!
Carrie Underwood:
For sure everyone is going to make the joke about her being covered in fishing net and who caught her and dragged her here straight from the ocean. Doesn't stop me. I'm not super original. That dress is gross though. It would have been much better if the skirt was less poufed and more fitted, because I honestly didn't totally hate it until I scrolled down to that full skirt and all that excess fishing net. Ick.
Chris Colfer, Amber Riley and Kevin McHale (of Glee):
Love Glee! Watch it. Or else that newsie on the end is going to have to continue shouting 'Extra! Extra!' to make enough cash to afford his prescription lenses! Enough with the vests Kevin! He's been vest-obsessed the entire press tour. Come on!
Christian Slater:
Guy hasn't aged in forever.
Take a trip down memory lane: remember 'Pump Up the Volume' and 'Untamed Heart'.
Bwa ha!
Cory Monteith (of Glee):
Um, lose the pube beard and we can be friends again. That thing is really scaring me.
I like the grey short and the tuxedo jacket, very sharp. Cute little Canadian...
Dania Ramirez:
This girl is better known as the annoying girl who ruined 'Heroes' with her death crying. God she sucked. Her heaving bosom didn't even make up for her annoying/terrible acting.
This dress is so 2009. Early 2009.
Dianna Agron (of Glee):
Like Alyson Hannigan, this makes me sleepy. But, because I consistently think her hair is cute on the show, I will not get angry. Especially at her pointy shoes. Ew.
Ellen Degeneres:
When I first saw this I thought she had the David Beckham faux hawk of a few years ago and I started to get upset, but she doesn't. It will be ok everyone.
It's close though.
Ginnifer Goodwin:
This girl has done nothing to me, but she irritates the hell out of me. I think it's her cutesy face and equally cutesy (therefore annoying) pixie cut. Maybe it's also her always-serious face. Smile. you're obviously trying to be cute in that weird beach-umbrella-straight-from-a-hamper dress...also nice Patricia Field flower circa 2001.
Hugh Jackman:
I love me some Hugh Jackman. He's a lovely man. You know what's not lovely though? The difference in the color of his hands vs his face. Yeesh!
Jackie Chan:
I don't know if Jackie is running low on funds or what, but it looks like he's wearing wardrobe from the new Karate Kid movie. Have you seen the trailer, btw? It looks awful.
Jenna Elfman:
I was looking at pictures of her from the front and I was thinking 'my goodness she looks thick in the waist area.' and then I saw one of her profile and literally went, "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. She's pregnant." She's huge though...no?
I like the dress, considering.
Jessica Alba:
I covet those shoes. And that dress actually. In all seriousness, I want to whole outfit. She looks good. I rarely like how she looks and I really want to steal everything. Especially those shoes. Mmmmm.
Johnny Depp:
He was honored for 10 years of being everyone's favorite. He's so cute. But I'm really sick of his gross hair and the same outfit at every awards show. Guaranteed under that blazer/shirt his belt is fastened at his hip bone as usual. Deserves the awards though. Nice.
Kaley Cuoco:
Not the best picture. This girl has trouble taking a nice picture, she's always making a face. I did that in a lot of my wedding pictures. That dress is really unflattering too...though I like the sheen. The bottom makes her look pregnant and it's 3" too long. Matronly.
Shoes are fab. Love the shoes.
Kate Walsh:
Is it just me or is she really cute? I don't know. I like what she's wearing. If I had a dress like that I would have worn it on NYE. The shoes are bland, but that's a good thing with that insane dress...I just wish they weren't that weird stoney-beige. A pinker-nude would have been better.
Not to be judgey (bwa ha ha!) but what is with her stomach area? Looks like she's hiding an airline pillow in there...
Kellan Lutz:
I don't know. I know he's in Twilight as one of the vamps, but I don't find him so hot. Especially his wardrobe choice...that blue blazer is a little too Rat Pack for me...but not done right because those moto boots are gross with it. Plus, he looks like a bee stung his face or something...
Lea Michelle (of Glee):
I don't know why she's so sad because she's super cute on Glee and her dress is fantastic and she's young so she has this ridiculously tight body and is pulling off that citrus-y color very well.
Why so glum, chum?
Mark Salling (of Glee):
Ohhhh! Maybe Lea Michelle is sad because she saw Mark Salling's posture. Gahh! For such a cute guy he is really not rocking a nice straight back. Pull back those shoulders boy! Also, I find the jeans a little sloppy...who do you think you are? Johnny Depp?
Mary J. Blige:
I have never appreciated this woman enough, I don't think. She's gorge. That dress is doing all the right things for her figure and I'm loving it. I heard her perform and it went in one ear and out the other, so I guess that's why I've never appreciated her. Either way, I'll try from now on because she looked so hot last night.
Nicole Kidman:
Ugh. Could she be more gross in the face area? And the dress isn't helping the illusion of her frightfulness...it's like an Elvira classic.
Oddly, I like Keith Urban's suit. And his flatironed hair. Gross.
Olivia Wilde:
This girl is obsessed with these annoying tea length dresses and things that are overly pretty for the event. She irritates me. Unless she's on the OC and has that weird hair-wave in the front.
Queen Latifa:
She hosted and, as always, was beautiful. I want a real diamond ring that size.
Sandra Bullock:
Another nude colored dress....I find her hair a little too slick/sleek, but the dress has a nice drape, despite it's graham cracker color. The shoes really don't match though... it bugs me. She bugs me actually, but she had 2 good movies this year so I'll let her pass (I'm the Gandalf of bitchiness)
Taraji P Henson:
Pretty color, pretty lady, excellent hair. This is actually the 2nd one-shouldered dress that I've liked this year. The other one is Marion Cotillard. I'll post it later.
Taylor Swift:
Could this girl be cuter? I doubt it. And I love that she's not wearing a prom-style silver dress as she has the past few times. This fabric is not awesome, because it resembles a bed spread of some kind, but she looks cute in a shorter length and she is just cute! Cute! Cute.
Love her.
Ta-daaa!
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