The SAGS! Finally an awards show we see!

Ok! So FINALLY there was an awards show that we're allowed to see and is allowed to be fun and pretty. Let's talk about some of the messes (hot and not) that walked down that red carpet after being on red-carpet hiatus for so long...

Amanda Bynes:
I continue to hate this girl for no good reason. She didn't do anything to me, she just irritates me. It irritates me especially that she can afford a Marchesa gown and I can't. Bitch. It is lovely though, I'll give her that...the teal is beautiful, her hair is very pretty, she's not too tan for once and that beading is to die for. Well done girl I randomly hate, well done.


Angelina Jolie & Bradd Pitt:
I decided that they deserve 2 photos and I'll explain why. Mostly because I find Angie's dress quite magical, despite the facts that it's all wrinkled in the front and that it's an obvious ploy to continue the rumors that she's preggo with twins by masking a lot of her. Which brings me to the most obvious part: her tata's. Woweee. Look at those things. They are not shy. In all seriousness, they're very attractive people and it's lovely that they're in love. Brad looks a little too hairy for my taste, but whatevs, he's rocking a 3-piece suit again and I have lots of respect for that. Well done kids.


Ashley Tisdale:
I don't know what this douche's claim to fame is (oh, I have just been informed that it's High School Musical - I hate her more now), but I hate her stupid face and hair. She looks like Asslee Simpson too much and in my opinion one of her is MORE than enough. Nice dress though (I choose not to show it so that she doesn't look good - bwa ha ha!)

Christina Applegate:
I find this woman very beautiful. I'm a little tired of the red lipstick look, but I'll let it pass, because it's an awards show. The dress is very beautiful, if not a little overdone. I'm a softie for white dresses at this point in life though, because I'm getting married soon. Hair is gross though...but look down and hers doesn't look so bad...

Debra Messing:
Speaking of messes! Wow! What happened to her? Did she go to the Mop Top Hair Shop? Damn! Aside from that, I love the neckline. It's a little dramatic, a little trying too hard, but it's great. It looks great on her figure (which seems to have FINALLY recovered since having the baby). Very nice. Hair color is lovely too.

Now here are the two together. I wouldn't cry if I looked like either of them. Would you?

Ellen Pompeo:
Although I kind of hate this dress, when I compare it to what she wore the last time we saw her, it's a ten! It, unfortunately, looks like molten silver, but again, in comparison is quite lovely. Although, I'm really not liking that weird dude in the background. And could she do our retinas a favor and hit the spray tan just once?


Eva Longoria:
Ok, I'm going to lay off Amanda Bynes for a while because Eva Longoria clearly deserves my hatred a lot more. What the hell is with this getup? Does she shop in the discount section of a soap opera sample sale? And who does her hair? I know, I know, I'm pretty sure her hairdresser is Ken Paves. Goddam. So ugly. And those earrings! She looks like she ripped them off from Alexis on an episode of 'Dallas'!



January Jones:
Seriously? That's your name? And that is the dress you chose? Where did you get the fabric? The Ikea upholstery discount bin? Holy hell. And next time, fix your GD roots. You are not welcome back on this blog until you fix yourself up missy!

Javier Bardem & Viggo Mortensen:
I like Viggo one way, with a beard, à la 'Lord of the Rings'. That was when he was hot. Javier is hot just like that. I love this picture because they seem to be having such a good time together and also, it shows how large Javier's features are! He's like a monster-face! Viggo's suit is hot, but he's #2 best dressed male after Brad...only for the color combo.


Jenna Fischer:
Is it just me or does she always look like she's at her high school prom and she feels really awkward because her best friend is totally dating the guy that she had a crush on all through April! God! She's just so young looking and non-Hollywood, which I love, but I would also love for her to scowl once. Just once.

Is that dress from JC Penney's? Seriously.

Joey Fatone & Lisa Rinna:
Oh my god Lisa, GO HOME. It's the eve of Joey's birthday and you're making him ham it up with you. Nice.


Kate Beckinsale:
A rare misstep for our goddess...the dress is wretched, the butter yellow is horrible and her hair is weird. It's really disappointing for me to see her like this. It's not her best effort and I'm a little pissed that she would do this to me. THIN ICE KATE! (Wow, I am crazy)


Kate Hudson:
I didn't realize Aerosmith made gowns...or that my hair-do from my grade 8 school picture had somehow jumped through time and pasted itself onto Kate's head...that is the WORST hair I have ever seen on her. It looks like a helmet! And that dress is a bit too hippie-dippie. Let's have a little respect for the institution that is fashion. Jeez.


Kyra Sedgewick:
She looks like a Smurf linebacker. No good. Like Jenna, she seems to have purchased her gown from the JC Penney prom collection. That lace train makes me want to kill someone. It's so hideous. She's a very lovely looking woman, but oh my god the horror of that dress makes it impossible to look at anything else.

Marcia Cross:
Wow. The color is beautiful. it's unexpected, fresh and fantastic. She really knows how to dress up without trying too hard or looking like a skeezy whore. Fantastic. Seriously. I love it. I think it might be my favorite of the whole night.

Marion Cotillard:
Don't know who she is, but she's really beautiful. The dress color, like Martha's, is fresh and beautiful and compliments her skin very well. She looks like a fairy.

Hee hee, just noticed that her head looks off center on her torso because of the way she's posing.

Michelle Pfeiffer:
Ageless. So beautiful. Her hair is a bit too dark for me, I think some highlights would help brighten her up a bit, but that's picky. She's gorge. She looks fabulous for any age. Is it wrong that I HATE her toenails being red like that?


Rebecca Gayheart:
Um. Uh...The only words that come to me are 'box of valentine's chocolates'. Oh wait, and 'ugly ones'.


Vanessa Williams:
THIS is yellow done right. This is what Kate Beckinsale should have looked like. This is a stunning gold-yellow gown in clean lines on a beautiful woman with a stunning figure. Wow. Ok, I'm tied between this and Marcia. I like Marcia for the elegance, I love this for the the daring choice that it is. Wow.

I really hope the writer's strike is settled soon, mostly because it's only fair that the people who provide the material are compensated, but also because this blog misses award shows. Good luck everyone. Hopefully we'll do another one soon!