Billboard Music Awards '06: Pics

Really, who cares about these awards?
I mean, are they even televised?

I know that Parasite and Britney shunned them, but I would too if my beav had such a busy social schedule the week before.

Let's mock and talk:


Courtney Love:
Um, is it just me or has she gained ~30 lbs in the past few days? If you check out the nudie pics I have of her (posted just last week), she doesn't look nearly as heavy as this. I find that gown a little much for the fucking Billboard awards. I mean, seriously woman, it's not a fucking ball.

Carmen Electra:
Thank god the woman smartened up. The last awards show she was at she looked like a really misguided flapper dancer. An unattractive one. With bad hair. Thank god she's back to hot.

Carrie Underwood:
I am not 100% sure who this is, but I think she was on American Idol. I think she has the best outfit of this entire post. The dress is hot, but not too dressy. The hair is nice, but not too fancy. I love it. I bet she sings country or something. That would fucking break my heart.

Is anyone else totally getting a Kelly Tayler (Jennie Garth) vibe off of her?

Denise Richards:
Hmm. I must say that I hate this look. As many of you know, I have never found Denise Richards to be as hot as people make her out to be. Those brows are just too unruly. I have many things to say about this outfit.

Where most people think going black is safe, I would like to warn them that THIS is NOT a good example. Mostly because of the shoe/tight combo. It really doesn't go with the dress. She should have thrown on some other kind of leg covering.

The dress looks like something Jackie-O would wear and the hair! Good lord in heaven, the hair! What disaster of a hairdresser piled that shit up there like that??! That is not acceptable. She looks like she was breakdancing on top of her skull and her hair knotted up on top and she though 'hmm, I think this is a totally doable look for an awards show.' WRONG Denise. Try again.

Gwen Stegani & Gavin Rossdale:
I'm sure many couples have this problem. One person in the relationship is much more casual than the other and it causes lots of odd photos because you look like you shouldn't really be at the same event. That's what's happening here.

I don't mean to be a nag (I totally do), but could Gavin have thrown on a fucking shirt? She's wearing a beautiful dress. You can't take off the t-shirt for a fucking evening?! That would piss my ass off. Luckily, my hubby-to-be is much more stylish that T-Shirto here.

Janet Jackson & Jermain Dupri:
I don't understand. Did she know she looked like a tranny in that 'do? It's the only explanation I can come up with for that ridiculous tranny-esque matching outfit. She must have known. It must have been the look she was going for. Why else would she not have sleeves, but have french cuffs?

Good god, Jermaine Dupri is lucky he's mad talented. Because he's really fugly. REALLY. Actually, they make a lovely, congruous couple. Blech.

Nelly Furtado:
Canada's angel! We love us some Nelly. I know I said that I would accept the bangs, but upon seeing them swept aside, I am back in love with non-bangs Nelly. Look how fresh and pretty her face is without them!

I think the dress is gorgeous, even if it is a little much for the event. And those shoes are awesome.

~

I declare Carrie Underwood the fashion winner of the evening. And yes, I looked it up, I'm aware she fucking sings country. And YES, it's hurts my soul. A lot.