2014 AMA's Red Carpet

So this happened....Shall we?

Dianna Agron:
I don't know why Marchesa was her choice...it's weird for the event. The length is weird, the shoulder makes her arms look chubby and her hair is really something else. Something not good.

Elizabeth Banks:
God bless her, she is never boring. I want to like this, but I don't. I like the hair and the shoes, but the middle is hurting my eyes a bit. And it's pretty short. Like, a lot. But she looks SO good with nice, pale skin.

Fergie:

One of the only times I have ever liked what she is wearing. Halston (drool) Heritage (drool). It's beautiful. The shoes are great too. She looks really good. Much less harsh than she normally looks and I love it.

Cut her hair though. Cut it, cut it, cut it.

Gigi Hadid: 

I don't know who this is, but I am really into this suit. It's really a shame about the bra. It's ruining the whole look. Like, everything else is so linear and clean and then there is a lace bra. Ugh. A solid bra with some strappy business happening on it would have been so much better. Like this. Or this.

Giuliana Rancic:
I can't with her. She's so horrific.
This dress is a mess. Especially with her blonde hair and those shoes.

Heidi Klum:
Ugh. This is awful. She has surprisingly wide hips and these stripes are not doing those any favours. And then there are her toes. They are really icky. Especially in those shoes. What's going on with the shoes? They're so weird and springy.

Jennifer Lopez:
Just gorgeous. This is like the slutty, strappy version of the Dirty Dancing finale dress. And she looks amazing in it. She is 45 and she looks better than most women in their 20's. I wish I could pull off that look with my hair..but alas, I am not JLo.

Jessie J:
I am a big fan of the shoe-swallowing pant, and quite honestly, I love this. The inseam on her pants is a bit too long, but the rest of it fits so well. And she looks comfortable and happy. And the hair is a great match.

She's missing jewelry though. I'd love to see a linear earring and a dainty cleavage chain.

Jordin Sparks:
Another Halston Heritage dress. Another winner. It's so amazing. But I'm biased. My consciousness was 18 during the late 70's and spent a lot of time at Studio 54.

Gahhhhh. I love this so much.

Julianne Hough:
Fits her fabulously well, but I loathe the color. Loathe it. Especially the clashy pink part in the middle.

And here is how you don't do the JLo slick back. She can't pull it off. She doesn't have the stature.

Kate Beckinsale:
She did something to her face, OR this is a weird snapshot in time. Something looks tighter around her eyes.

The dress is quite great. I love it. But that necklace is really not ok. I am against it.

Kendall Jenner:
This is a swimsuit cover-up, right? It's very meh if it really is a gown.

I don't like it.

Khloe Kardashian:
Atelier Versace, I think. Also meh. I love that neckline, but the asymmetry of the skirt kind of ruins it for me. It could have been clean and kind of epic, but now it's just tacky.

Kylie Jenner:
The slit is too high. And she looks awkward holding her hand over it like that. And then there is her neckline. It's taped to her boobs and it looks like it is, it's not draping well.

Also, I hate those shoes.

I hate it all.

Lucy Hale:
NO. This is awful.
What is happening at the hips? Did it merge into a glamorously wrapped Christmas gift?

Nikki Minaj:
Is that made of hair? I feel like it looks like hair or something. Ugh, it's creeping me out. Also, I don't like the way it fits at those weird pizza-shaped cuts on her sides.

Olivia Munn:
She looks like an amazing 80's diva. I love it. The make-up is a little harsh for me, and the dress doesn't actually fit that well, but it's kind of great. Shut up! IT IS!

Rita Ora:
While overenthusiastic, it is amazing. The color is great on her, her make-up and hair are fantastic. It's super dramatic. I like this girl. She has balls.

Selena Gomez:
Boob region - what is going on here? Are these her new implants? Because if so, I think she should get a refund.

This dress is too mature for her. Why does she keep ageing herself?

Taylor Schilling:
I am not into all this asymmetry. I don't like how her hair mimics the dress. It's too much. Those shoes are great though.

Zendaya:
Oh wow. This is a lot. This is, like, 90's R&B greatness. I am in love with this. It's terrible and amazing all at the same time.

Like, who wears a Flintstones bikini top with a satin suit?

Oh - and Jessie J - this is how you hem a pant.

Charlie Hunnam in Vogue

For those of you who are long time readers, you'll know I'm obsessed with all things 70's...and even though this girl's outfit is more 60's than 70's, I'm going to pretend that it's more 70's so that I have more reason to love this photo. It's just really great. The bike, the dog, the look. Pretend it's you in a macramé vest straddling Charlie Hunnam on a bike during the 70's. Because duh.

The only blonde man I ever considered hot is my hubs, but this shot is giving Charlie a shot. Having trouble peeling my eyes from the belt/jeans/back/obliques area. Enjoy ladies.

Yikes. This guy.

Willow and Jaden Smith Need Conventional Education

I get it. They're really, silly rich. So Jada and Will home-school them. That and the Scientology bend. But oh my god these kids sound like a mess.

You know, most of us go to school, so we have similar ways of thinking...and it's not this, and maybe that's bad, but on the other hand: THIS IS NOT GOOD.

Here are some snippets from an interview they did:

Q: I'm curious about your experience of time. Do you feel like life is moving really quickly? Is your music one way to sort of turn it over and reflect on it?

WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that's how I know it doesn't exist. 

JADEN: It's proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It's relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it's also such a thing that you can get lost in. 

WILLOW: Because living. 

JADEN: Right, because you have to live. There's a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds, and you can talk and talk, but it's living. 

WILLOW: It's the action of it.

On their music:

WILLOW: And the feeling of being like, this is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made.

JADEN: Exactly. Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it's not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you're thinking about something happy, you're thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It's a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That's not a duality consciousness. And you can't listen to your mind in those times — it'll tell you what you think and also what other people think.

WHAT?!
OH MY GOD GO TO A REGULAR SCHOOL. SCIENTOLOGY MAKES YOU SOUND CRAZY.

Jennifer Lopez is Killing It

So hot. Not normal.

This Zuhair Murad is so gorgeous. She's been wearing him a lot lately and she wears it so well.

She is proof that you can age gracefully.

This made my week: EW's 2014 Reunions: Mean Girls & Napolean Dynamite

Like, Mean Girls was so great, right. There are so many amazing jokes from it, just so good. And I love that you can look at this picture and kind of feel like the rest of them are embarrassed to be in the same photo as Lindsay Lohan. It's really great. 

They all have these weird smirky expressions on their faces like "um, what smells like a wet ashtray and self tanner?"

I think we all know the answer to that questions ladies...

And then there's these two. Love it.

Also, Vote for Pedro.