Saturday, January 18, 2014

The 2014 Critics Choice Awards Red Carpet

This happened earlier this week and there has been much talk about some of the outfits. Shall we?

Abigail Breslin:
She's 17. Someone who works for her MOTHER thought this was appropriate to wear. This dress really creeps me out. Boobs away until 18 please. I don't ask much.

Adèle Exachopoulos:
I'm quite certain that I misspelled this the other night. Oh well. She's really got a little bit of an aggressive taste level. Are those bike shorts? She's French, so her sense is different, but no one ever said bike shorts are ok. No one. I don't know. I would have liked to see her in something a little less convoluted.

Aisha Tyler:
I have a serious hate for this woman that stems only for her super irritating character on 'Friends.' Her 'Archer' voice work can't even numb it for me. She was just the worst on that show. This dress, however, is really gorgeous. I'm becoming more and more of a fan of a long sleeved, crew neck gown. Done well, with some touch of elegance, it's really major.

Amy Adams:
This pink is making me barfy. Even worse than that, it's kind of an icky print with darker red that looks like bacteria when you zoom in. I don't know, there's nothing wrong with this per se, but I don't have to like it. I mean, is she trying two capelets in one week? That seems ambitious. You don't want to be 'capelet girl.'

Brie Larson:
I really love this girl, as an actress, but she seems to have questionable fashion taste. I get what she was trying with this dress. It's almost the baby sister to my new forever favourite, the long sleeved slinky gown. But this is the short sleeve printed gown. But the print is bad. And there's just. so. much. of. it. AND, it reminds me of these really weird plates my Nana had. Totally the same pattern.

Cate Blanchett:
She can do no wrong. This color is so beautiful. she looks really lovely. I wish the sleeve wasn't so loose, but I'm grasping. She could pull off a bathrobe.

Christina Applegate:
You know, seeing her reminds me that NBC ruined a show I really liked. 'Up All Night' was really cute, and they started reworking it and then she quit and now it doesn't exist anymore.

She looks really pretty. Very lovely and appropriate for someone who is attending an awards show and has no reason to get up on stage. She should wear her hair like that more often. That soft wave at her forehead is gorgeous.

Jessica Chastain:
Redheads in green. It's a thing. Forest green, I love. This green is very vintage and almost toothpaste-adjacent and the shape of it is very unflattering. It's making her look wide. And, am I seeing her underwear line and the light between her thighs? What's going on here?

She's lovely. She really is. I'm glad she wore this at such a low-level event.


Julia Louis-Dreyfuss:
Aka, the woman who does not age.
I mean, I really don't like this dress, but she looks great.

Julia Roberts:
This one...such a weirdo. This pattern is a little much for me. Like, I feel like it should be on a DVF wrap dress from 1974 and not this gown. Is that why she's wearing sunglasses, like a dork?

What do you say about her? She's the best and the worst all at the same time. The dress is making up most of the part of the worst though. Definitely.

Juliette Lewis:
She has never, EVER looked better. Look how well this fits her! My god. I'm astounded. The way it falls, just so beautiful. I want to give her stylist/dresser an award. This is amazing and so beautiful. Despite being RED on a red carpet, which...ugh.

Kristen Bell:
Oh my god, why with that hair? I really don't like the dress either, but it's not gross. It's just really not my taste. The asymmetry at the front is really grinding my gears. It's making her boobs look all lopsided. Blech. This is bad. OMG. I just noticed the lettuce edge on the train. TRAIN. It's too much. Look away!

Leonardo Dicaprio:
Despite having been passing through puberty when 'Titanic' first came out, I have never had a crush on Leo. He will forever be Arnie for me (from 'What's Eating Gilbert Grape?'). That role defined him as an incredible actor for me, and is burned in my mind.

The above photo is the first time I have ever though, "oh my god, so hot." So hot.

Lupita Nyong'o:
She is BRINGING it. That Globes dress was something else, and this one is really amazing. I am so, so, so excited to see what else she is going to wear this season. I love her a lot for being so epic.

Margot Robbie:
This takes balls. And she looks good in it. This is a hands down YES from me. Also, I want this jumpsuit, despite having zero occasion to wear it. Boo!

Melissa McCarthy:
But why? Why didn't she wear this at the Globes? This is so much better, so much less "choir leader". This is really lovely and her hair is so much better. Ugh. UGH!

Oprah:
Is the top a sweater dress? Whatever. She looks really great, but she's Oprah, of course she does. She's the ruler of the world.

Sandra Bullock:
I loathe ruffles, but on her I like them. This column, the fact that they're not too voluminous and the belt are making it all work for me. Oh yah, and the color. Oxblood. The color of fall. I kind of wish her hair had a little height at the forehead, but the sleek works.

Terri Seymour:
This is sexy, and kind of tacky (a lot tacky), but the fact that it looks like she could have worn it at Studio 54 makes me exempt from having an objective opinion. I have S54 goggles on.

Also, she dated Simon Cowell, so deserves everyone's pity.

That's it!

No comments: