What People Wore: Kim Kardashian, Fergie, Jessica Simpson

Sometimes there are just too many outfits and I end up with this excess in my pictures folder and I have to go to town. This is one of those instances:

Kim Kardashian & Kelly Osbourne:

I like this photo because it's awkward. I actually love Kelly's dress, and Kim's...they're sleek, simple and interesting. But I love that Kim is hugging Kelly and how Kelly looks kind of freaked out by the act.

Don't kill me, but I also kind of love this super bright pink lip look. I think it's aspirational. There is no way I could wear that. I am straberry blonde and pink looks stupid on me. Also, I think my husband would disown me if I wore that lipstick. What do you think about it?

Jordana Brewster:

I don't know why, but this girl irritates me, like, why is she anywhere? Who cares about her? What was the last thing she did? Oh. Fast Five. Whatever. So she might win an Oscar for it. Hee hee.

Anyhoo, we're here to talk about clothes. I don't like this dress. I think it's a mish mash of things that are trashy, there fore it's mish mash trash. Trademark.

And those shoes. MY GOD THOSE SHOES. They're not good. And they clash with her dress. I really don't like this girl. Can she go away now?

Jessica Simpson:

This picture has been around for a while, but I've been saving it and letting it bother me every time I scroll through my photos. I don't like this at all. I don't like how she's jammed into that body suit, I don't like how the thing cuts her at the top of her legs and I don't like how gigantic and offensive her breasts are.

I think she needs therapy to increase her confidence because she's making me sad with this picture.

Fergie:
Her arms! Ahhhh. I need to go workout. It's not cold enough to be wearing those tights, but they work for some reason. I don't know if that thing at her crotch level is her purse or her skirt, but it interests me. Maybe because I'm like a magpie and I like shiny things and things that look like birds' nests. But if it is a purse, how do you conceal anything in there? Is there an interior pocket? I must know!

Elisabetta Canalis:

Really George Clooney? THIS is who you're dating? She's kind of trashy looking, no? I'm not denying she's beautiful (though that is kind of a strong jaw), but the dress is a little Winsor Fashions...it's just not George's caliber.