Audrina Partridge in a pool

So this is a picture of Audrina Partridge (from 'the Hills') in a pool on the grounds of what appears to be a douche bag training centre.

This picture annoys some men because she's surrounded by guys and those men realize, by seeing this, that they will never meet her. Especially sitting at their computers all day blogging about how hot her tits are. Wow, that was some aside.

So, I am only gay for Marisa Miller, so I'm not offended by this photo for that reason, only for the guy who is apparently trying to pull off a fluorescent pink CAPTAIN'S HAT. I have a few questions about this:

1. Where does one purchase such a hat?
2. How much does this cost?
3. Why hasn't someone in his circle of friends told him that he is an idiot?
4. Why hasn't someone lit him on fire to end that?

Originally, I was torn as to what was worse - the captain's hat or Ebony & Ivory the woven fedora twins....I settled on the pink captain's hat.

Wow. Wowee wow wow.

So bad.