Guys, I'm not gonna lie. It's a lot. If you watched the show, you know that it was pretty damn boring and that the A/C was not working and everyone was hella sweaty. Here they all are before their make-up melted and they while they still looked good
Ok, shall we?
Penis with sneakers. That is all.
Like Christmas decorations gone mad. Her hair and make-up don't match the dress at all, like she switched dresses last minute. It's really blech.
I'll be honest, I would use her unmarried name if it wasn't so confusing to spell. These gloves are really annoying. And George said something about her sewing them this morning. Like, really?
Just why? The color is meh, the top is too voluminous...she just seems to phone it in all the time. Meh.
Her speech was SOOOOO boring. Like, SO boring. Like, it was too much. And she started a trend of the night talking about amazing women, bla bla bla. You know what's great? Not HAVING to mention how great women are, because we JUST ARE.
This dress is what it is. Old Hollywood glam, not surprising, not exciting. Kind of easy, no?
She looks SO good in blue, it's great. Her skin was a little Cheeto-y, but she looks good. Her hair looks better long, I really like it.
She looks really great. I love her.
We mentioned that she looks like she has a stick up her ass. This dress looks a bit uptight...or it's a terrible capture of time. I don't know...It's a little too nude and it looks like a scene from Dexter a bit, no?
I really like this dress. His pregnant fiance has steeze. No?
BEST. MAN. EVER.
They won the bet that we all made that they'd never last. I would love to be a fly on the wall of this house. Must be interesting. Her hair is cute. I just started growing my hair, but all these crops are making me drool for a short cut again.
Her ears are GIGANTIC, right? This picture makes her look MUCH worse than she looked during the broadcast...but she needs to lay off the plastic surgery. This dress does nothing for me. It is expected from someone of her stature...
How cute are they? He looks so handsome. It's really great. She looks so happy, it's really adorable. Her dress is great. Especially when you compare it to the hot mess she wore to the People's Choice Awards.
I have a little bit of pity for this one. She looked SO confused during John Legend's speech. Like she didn't understand why she was left alone at the table and why WAS HE ON THE STAGE?! Her dress is ok. But like, I don't know. It seems kind of basic bitch, no?
She can do NO wrong. And hasn't. Looking amazing Christine.
We decided, unanimously, that Cindy Crawford is one of those ladies who is almost always drunk and slurring her words.Like, this dress is not what a supermodel should be wearing. Shouldn't she look super tight and amazing? This is not that.
Awww. A tapestry? Really? The netting is all baggy. She was all weird and tengenty during her Ryan Seacrest interview. I don't know. I kind of can't with her.
This one. The dress was kind of great, in a sparkly, disco-y way. Then she went on stage with Jamie Dornan...and she is SO wooden. Like, she out tree-d Katie Holmes. No wonder they had to reshoot all the sex scenes for 50 Shades of Grey.Yikes.
This dress is amazing. She is really flawless. Plus, you know, Pacey.
I believe he's really talented. But I can't get over the fish lips. Am I bad?
Not unlike Christine Baranski and Allison Janney, she can do no wrong in my eyes. This is pretty boring, but that's ok.
This must be SO heavy. It's very pretty, but it's a little austere for someone as young as her. I feel like she could do something a little more playful.
This dress is perfection. She looked SO great. She was just the right amount of casual with the right amount of elegance. The pops of turquoise are great, her hair was great. I love her. Can I marry her?
The time Ryan Seacrest referred to her jumpsuit as "slacks" was the best time we've ever had. This is really great...except for the back. The back was really not my favourite...but this was a good outfit. Good, daring outfit.
We don't feel like she looks as good as she used to be. Like, she obviously looks REALLY good, but she looks a little tired. Speaking of tired (segue award?!) this dress...
Ahh! A shorter length that isn't a tea length. I like this. She looks great in it, too. As always, well done.
They put this poor girl in the balcony or something and she had to do a triathalon-style jog to the stage for her statue. And she beat A LOT of people. Like, good people. This dress is REALLY nice, now that I actually look at it. It's lovely.
Just, I can't with this woman. She is so grating to my soul. I CAN'T.
We agreed that we aren't sure if Jake is attractive but we ARE sure that Maggie should not attempt to pull off this hair anymore. She is not pretty enough. And she's too slouchy. ENOUGH!
And now, as best hot dog - Heidi Klum!
Why do any of us even try? She's just so amazing.
Well, look who isn't ageing at the same rate. Whatever Jane Fonda is doing should be sold in a bottle and also added to our water, because none of us look even close to this good.
Awww, this makes me sad but it is NOT at all surprising from her.
She wore a really pretty yellow napkin. That top ruffle was too long, but whatever.
She is starting to look her age...it's ok. I'm into it. she looks like someone's mom. Like, someone's sexy mom, but then she did this with Kate Hudson and cemented her status as the elder generation of hotties:
Well, hands down this was the dress of the night. It was epic. It flowed, it was stunning on, fit her really well and everyone agreed she looked SUPER hot. BeautyWriter did not like her hair, but I was kind of into the Barbarella situation.
This dress is epic disco, so I obviously love it. I was not into her hair, but that's ok. I can't LOVE everything as much as I love disco...
We agree her face is finally settling, but the neckline of this dress is not great. It sseems to be adding bulk. Also, you know how I feel about a red dress on a red carpet..
When will she stop looking AMAZING? I love her.
While we did NOT enjoy the neckline on this, we
You know, she's overdressed and over-haired and over-jeweled, but she does it all the time and we should stop being surprised. It doesn't stop her from being beautiful.
This thing was tacky as hell. It was reminiscent of Elizabeth Hurley's safety pin dress from years ago, but her body is CRAZY, so no one cares. Also, I'm sure she was super happy about her hair decision once she got into that humid, gross ballroom. But there was much talk about her eyes...some weird pulling when she talked.
If you read this blog, you know that I normally love everything and anything Kate Mara does. I have a soft spot. But I do not have a soft spot for my dad's best 70's belt worn over a gown. I don't get this. And I don't want to.
We had much discussion over this one. I loved it. I thought that she hasn't looked this good in a while. She normally looks frumpy and gross and intolerable. I love the Miss Piggy vibe of her hair and this dress is sucking her all in very well. She's still super annoying, but I like this on her.
I don't know who this is, but she won for sluttiest cut out of the night. However, again, I'm sure she was happy she had built-in A/C panels on her dress when she got in the sweat lodge.
She presented with someone and she was SO wooden, it reminded me why we don't like her. And that fake hair ponytail - why? She has great hair on her own, why wear horse hair?
This dress is meh, the color is amazing on her, but it belongs on a much older woman.
Ok, so this was weird. The embroidery and her purse were very pretty, but the ruffle situation was so weird and not ok. We did not love this at all.
STILL WITH THE PURPLE HAIR? And now it's all shaved on the side. Mercifully, E! allowed Ryan Seacrest to own the red carpet coverage. Even Giuliana was minimal, but even more mercifully you barely saw Kelly and Ross.
What?! Why? The length is so perplexing. One of many people who wore this rando tea length. Beacuse aside from that, it's...interesting? I'm trying to be nice. We hate it. The color was nice on her, but she deserves so much better from her daring choices.
After seeing his wife's nipple with Ryan, I needed to refresh our eyes with just his piped tux jacket. It's great. Good for him.
So awful. She has the most random fashion sense. Sometimes it's SO spot on, and then other times - like this - she looks AWFUL. Imagine the sweat stains in that ballroom? Because when she and Bill Hader were on stage she looked limp. Her hair was all sweaty and frizzy and she was shiny and strung out looking. Kind of like this dress.
Oh my god, SO unflattering.NEVER WEAR this color or this silhouette or pleating again. Bad Lana!
Does this dummy have a stylist? We're thinking really, really not, because she dresses like a fool.
Why? Why is she allowed to dress herself? Those shoes are awful. Also, I want to get her a scoliosis brace. Why is her posture so horrific? Also, since when is she so wonk-eyed?
I think Beauty Writer put it best when she said "we can always count on her to bring color". It's true, we can. Thank you Leslie Mann for brightening things up a little bit.
Well, I suppose this is the age to try weird things. Check Lorde, you did it. Now never do this again.
Wow, does she ever look bummed out. It's like this is the first time she realized that her forehead is really that big. The dress is kind of lovely. It's too bad her sad face is strapped to it.
It looks like it's eating her alive a bit...no? I like her with a little more hair, it's nice. But this dress reminds me of some kind of bacterial situation. Yikes.
Julianna Marguiles:
This was the first, and the worst of all the weird tea length gowns. Awful. And who chooses this? Why the red floral pattern that belongs on my Nana's throw cushions? And she looks SO uptight. Like you can be pretty sure that she is a raging bitch in person.
Well, someone is going for "sexy" in a really HARD way. I actually quite like this...or maybe I don't. I like the cut, I'm not crazy about the fact that it looks like part of Spiderman's costume, but the color and the cut were great
Her crazy Bride of Frankenstein streaks were blowing our minds last night. Not the best move. And his raggedness was not working out for him in that sweaty ballroom. You just kept catching him wiping at his face. I like the purple tux though...he's been doing colors for a while and I like it.
We love this. Even though it looks like Helen Mirren could rock it, we do like it a lot.
When she got out of her car we said "why does she hate us?". Because she must, to wear this. Why does she insist on looking terrible? I doubt anyone is forcing her at gunpoint. Why can't she wear something attractive?
She looks so comfortable that I'm leaning toward loving this. I didn't realize it was green,
I'm not sure about this snake necklace with this yellow dress. I don't feel like it fits. I mean, it fits with the neckline, because that necklace fits with nothing other than a strapless. But look-wise, I feel like the delicate folds and the feminine deatils of that dress deserved something more feminine.
The color looks really good on her. And she looks really happy. Isn't that good enough for me?
I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, perse. But It's a lot. She looks kind of stuffed into it. No? And I never noticed her teeth are so janky.
She looks really great. She does. but I hate her. She seems so smug, and she filmed a movie which is basically about hiking. HIKING? Ugh.
Meh. That is all.
This looks SO unfinished. We likened it to a placemat from the 60's or 70's. It's not good. The color is too much, the neckline is super unflattering, and her face was never happy...except when she won. This dress is so terrible. OMG.
This was really beautiful. And her hair. OMG. This was really, really good. She is just so beautiful. Loved it.
OMG, what is happening to her hair? This is horrible. The dress is ok, but not great. It's also not terrible, but this is not a win for her. AT ALL.
The hair is too light, it's too slicked back (but I'm sure she was happy in the sweat lodge), the eyebrows are too severe and too dark. The dress is a lot, and it's even more in the back, almost like a bathing suit. Blech.
This is a bit weird. I'm not sure about the length or the weird shape of the skirt. I still like her deconstructed tux more than anything else she wore last night.
I love the sparkliness of this guy. It's a bit crazy, but I like it a lot. It's like a disco snow globe exploded.
What is going on with her face? It looks totally different.
This dress looks like a Christmas tree skirt, no? I don't know. She looks great in the color, but I don't love the details on the top.
Zosia Mamet:
She looks happier than she normally looks, which is a positive, but this beige top is weird, and what is going on with her hair color? Well, It's an improvement for her. I'm not going to complain.
Ok kids, that's it. I missed a few people, I'm going to post that later this afternoon. Have a wonderful day and I hope you'll join us for the live blogs of the next awards shows. We'll give you plenty of notice so you can stock up on wine.
