Thursday, June 21, 2012

The 2012 MMVA's Were Not Exciting

Nor were they star studded. They were kind of star gleeked (you know when you accidentally spit when bending your tongue?). Yah. Random spittle starred.

Anyhoo, shall we?
 
Carly Rae Jepsen:
Or the young Ms Bieber. Or the Bieber discovery...whatever. She's a hit. And she's quite good. And so is this dress, and her hair, and her eye makeup. Yup, it's all good. I don't love those shoes, but whatever, Isn't she, like, 11? She's entitled to make some mistakes.

Katy Perry:
This is really nice. Part of me is really loving it. I didn't love that she was touting around inappropriately dressed mini me's, but I'm an asshole like that. This dress is hot. I wish I had it and then had an occasion to wear it.

Beauty Writer: Her hair is effing amazing! It's the kind of color you can only get after you've bleached it and made it look like a mop, but whatever. I'm mega jealous.
Kelly Clarkson:
Kelly Clarkson has been regular, American-sized forever. EVER. And she always defended that, saying that it was her body's way, bla bla bla. Anyhoo, now it seems she's lost 35 lbs or something and is becoming just as annoying as Jennifer Hudson.

The dress gives the illusion that she's much thinner, but it's the hair I find super terrible. Who told her that color blonde looked good on her? It's fucking terrible. I just hope she's healthy and happy, and not losing weight just to be another lolly headed twat like the rest of society.

Beauty Writer: I totally agree. Her hair is really not good. Stop trying to be a blond...it's not for everyone. Believe me, I know. Also, I love her, so she gets a pass no matter what she does.
Nelly Furtado:
For someone SO beautiful, she sure has a knack for wearing hidesously unflattering apparel. I mean, WTF? You're pear-shaped...how about you don't wear accordion pleated ruffles at your hips/thighs?

In other news, I covet those shoes.
 
Selena Gomez:
Ugh, Just stop with this. Look at her facial expression. She is laughing at us.

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