The White House Correspondents' Dinner 2012 (aka Yikes)

I don't actually understand why all these people were there...but they were, so let's look

Charlize Theron:
The only thing I could possibly say about this is that it doesn't look like it fits her super well. Like, it's half a size too big, so it's making it look very matronly and unflattering.

It would have been beautiful if it was really fitted down to her hips.

Kate Hudson:

The first thing I thought when I saw this was "ears". Like, oh my god. The dress is lovely, but that hairdo is not doing her ears any favors. It looks like she's trying to pick up signals for a satellite.

Claire Danes:
Since when has her hair looked like this? It looks so trashy and bleached out. That, combined with the wrinkly, satin  dress is really not doing it for me. Not to mention her sullen attitude. You're at the White House, bitch. Smile.

Goldie Hawn:
She just looks like she's fun. No? Like everything is an inside joke. The dress is good, because it's black and it's hard to go wrong with that. The fur stole is a little dated, but let's be honest, so is she.

I don't get why she's with Piers Morgan...where is Kurt Russel?

Dakota Fanning:
Um. Is it just me or could you picture Diane Keaton in this? This can't be an easy event to dress for, because you have to be conservative, but you don't want to be bland.

Dakota failed here.

Rosario Dawson:
See? I think this is more how you do conservative, but with breasts. The dress is kinda frumpy until you get to her boob area. But let's be honest, her body makes everything look a little more exciting. It's like putting Sofia Vergara in a potato sack...

Ginnifer Goodwin:
Why do I want to punch her so much?
I don't like this dress. The skirt is so much, and it looks messy and asymmetrical...but in a bad way.

Also, I really want to punch her in the face.

Zooey Deschanel:
Ok, here is another conservative outfit done well. It's not anywhere near sexy, but it's very pretty and appropriate for her age.

Reese Witherspoon:
Oy. It's not that the dress isn't good. It's that the hair is terrible.She did this once already...remember, for the Oscars years ago. Then it was cute because she had that amazing beaded dress that gave us something else to look at. This dress, that kind of looks like she was confused when putting on the straps, is not distracting enough for me not to look at her hair.

Yikes.

Elizabeth Banks:

Is that a peplum causing that effect? If not, it looks like she has a giant ass, which I don't think she does...I'm not in love with the matching lipstick to dress look, but again, here's conservative done well. 

And then there are the 2 who EVERYONE wanted to see..

Lindsay Lohan:

This dress does not fit. No designer has ever cut a dress so that it cuts a breast in half the way that halter top does. The fabric looks stiff and cheap and that cut is so unbelievably distracting. We all have a girl like this in our life, who goes out of her element and has no clue. 

Lilo was out of her element, and even though her injections have relaxed and her hair looks good in that color, she did not belong.

Poor Lindsay. Cough. Not really.

Kim & Kris Kardashian:
I feel like Kim could have done better. Velvet in April? Yikes. Her mother looks better than she does. It's too matronly and you can tell she's really uncomfortable in it. Look how miserable she is.

Kris, on the other hand, looks great. I like that her hair looks like flames jumping off her head.