The 2011 MTV Movie Awards

Ok, so sorry for the delay! I have been spending time exercising. I know, lame. Ha ha. Just kidding. It's fantastic. And the less love handles I have the more I can blog. That is the actual equation everyone.

So the MTV Movie Awards were the other night. Not much exciting happened, Reese Witherspoon told some young fools to stop being fools and they probably thought it was about the other girl, not them!

Here's her (fantastic) quote:

"I get it, girls, that it’s cool to be a bad girl. But it is possible to make it in Hollywood without doing a reality show. When I came up in this business, if you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under your bed. And if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone, you hide your face, people! Hide your face!"

She's won an Oscar twats. Listen up. June Cash just schooled your ass.

Amanda Bynes:

Stop existing. Please. It's too much for me to handle. Also, if you're going to insist on sticking around, please change something about you, because it's getting STALE.

Blake Lively:

She showed up without Leo, but met up with him afterward. If it was me, I think I would have avoided making one of the exact same poses that we saw a naked girl (denial) make last week, but it's Blake. This dress must have been a last minute change, b/c I've never seen her wear anything so conservative in my life. Boobs Legsley no more?

Brooklyn Decker:

I find this dress grossly inappropriate. It's not slutty or anything, it's just so fall. It's summer. Wear a floral or something. Geez. Also, that neckline is doing no favors for anyone. All that weird boob pleating. Ew.

Bryce Dallas Howard:

Really? This is your dress? Wait. Is she pregnant? If she's pregnant it's ok. But really, just ok. If she's not, then she is blind, like her character in whatever that really disappointing movie was.

Cameron Diaz & Jason Segel:

Mere days after Cammie was supposedly dumped by jerkwad extraordinaire Alex Rodriguez she's up there looking terrible. But no implants. There was a blind item suggesting that ARod wanted her to get implants and her refusal could be a reason for the break-up. Gross. What a douche.

In other news, I'm really looking forward to 'Bad Teacher' even though she's in it and can supposedly afford Louboutins on a teacher's salary and Justin Timberlake's terrible acting is in it also. Also, depsite his recent grossification, I love me some Jason Segel. He loves Muppets = I love him. Duh. Math.

Chelsea Handler:

I just read a book "Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me"...it was interesting. Super fast read, and it consists only of stories from her friends/employees/family explaining how she screws with them. It's kind of horrible. And makes me feel bad for all of them. And her, because she supposedly has a bladder control problem related to her laughing.

She looks really good in this photo though. Her hair is a little over blonde, but she's pulling it off because she's kind of scraggly as a human too. Seriously, my spell check doesn't catch scraggly?

Emma Stone:

So pretty. I'm SO glad she's back to redhead after that disgusting time as a blonde for Spiderman. It was really bad.

This dress is wonderful. I'm loving the black lace over color thing. Must go out and buy several new dresses I will never have the occasion to wear. What? You DON'T do that?

Emma Watson:

2nd Emma! So hot. I love this hair on her. It's such a funky/pretty length. I don't like the dress a lot, I mean, she's the face of Burberry, she couldn't have pulled off something a little funkier? Like this? The above is a little too dressy and white, no?

Hailee Steinfeld:

I don't know why these pictures keep coming out like this. ANNOYING. I'm also too lazy to correct it, so let's move on, shall we?

She looks like a junior ad exec, no? Or, like, a burgeoning legal secretary? Either way, it's much too old and not enough fun for someone this young and cute.

Jessica Szohr:

THIS on the other hand, is swinging the pendulum far too aggressively in the other direction. This is a fugly mess. So much so that I kept trying to write fugly before it fit in the sentence because it is so damn gross. Really? WTF is wrong with this girl?

Jim Carrey:

Oh my god, tone it down. God. This is like if someone invited their dad to a school dance. SO embarrassing. But, more so for him, if not solely because of that hairdo.

Kristen Stewart:

I wish this dress was my mother. I would love it and take it for walks in the park and to all it's doctor's appointments. And then at night I would snuggle with it. Hmm, maybe I wish the dress was my lover. I might be slightly too old to be cuddling with my mother. For, like, 25 years. Yikes.

Anyhoo, she looks great. But her legs are too skinny, no?

Leighton Meester:

Are these heels too low? What's wrong here? Why does she look so awkward? In other news, I like her ombrey hair. Like Brooklyn Decker, while I understand what she's trying for here, I think it's a little too long sleeved for this weather. It's hot out. Trust me, I have the air conditioning in my car blowing between my thighs, and I'm from a northern climate. I can't imagine what it's like there.

Nina Dobrev:

Sometimes the alphabet is so great. I mean, look, the two dresses that look pretty similar ended up pretty close to one another! Easy scroll up. Ok, they're not THAT similar. But they're both red, so...there. I still like Kristen's better. Also, I need to get this girl on my radar, because I have no clue who she is.

Peter Facinelli:

I took this picture solely due to his horrible posture and what it's doing to his outfit. Offensive. Hee hee.

Reese Witherspoon:

She was in top form. Looked great, said sassy things, this si the Reese of old. The Reese who is freshly in love. Not bitter being-a-beard-for-Jake-Gyllenhall Reese. Love it. Ok, fine, she was in Legally Blonde. A few times, but she's been around a long time and she has credibility. Dumb twats of Hollywood, listen to her!

Rosie Hutington-Whitely:

I love the hair. That one horn that's blowing up is fantastic. This dress is less fantastic. But whatever. She's hot or something, right? I HATE LONG SLEEVES IN SUMMER.

Selena Gomez:

JUSTIN RAPER! Ew. That sounds so gross. This girl is getting mad death threats, but I can't fault anyone who went to Swiss Chalet. She has been frequenting Canada meeting Justin's family, and I bet she drank the Swiss Chalet gravy. Yum. So good. God I'm disgusting.

In other news, her dress bores me.