The MTV European Music Awards 2010

Ok, so the MTV EMA's were this past weekend, and to be perfectly honest, they looked pretty damn boring.

Maybe it's because I didn't know 80% of the 'stars' in attendance. Who knows. Let's pick it apart.

B.o.B. and Hayley Williams:

They performed 'Airplanes'...um, is that song still popular across the pond? Because I was sick of it a month ago. Oooh, I'm so avant garde. Shut up me.

Eva Longoria:

She hosted, and has obviously been doing some kind of leg/ass regimen she's really proud of because none of her outfits had a skirt longer than labia length or pants. All bodysuits and super minis. Ridiculous.

I would die for her legs, but if you look in the above photo, on the red carpet, don't you think your dress is too short if your shorts tan is visible on the back of your leg/lower ass?

Katy Perry & Russel Brand:

For the record, I'm reading RB's 1st book right now. I kind of love it. He's such a mess, and it's all sprinkled with English-isms and proper English. I love it.

They're fresh of their marriage in India now and everyone's saying that he's ruined her because now she doesn't go out with her giant boobs hanging out all over the place. I don't know, the rule is supposed to be legs or boobs, not both (AHEM EVA LONGORIA)...so she's doing legs here. And a weird ticket/dress and not great hair.

Is she ruined?

Kelly Brook:

English celebrity alert! I think she's mostly famous for being naked...lord knows her Reebok EasyTone ads made quite a splash. She should really wear the gold/coral EasyTone's with that outfit, no?

Ke$ha:

Ugh, she just looks so dirty. And I don't mean the fluo paint. That's just weird.

I don't know, she looks like one of those girls (and we all know one, let's not lie) that gets up in the morning and doesn't shower...or, you know, picks up clothes off her floor, sniffs them and then puts them on. Ew. Or irons by throwing things in the dryer. You all know one. Don't deny it. This one just sings for a living.

Miley Cyrus:

This bunny rabbit gets on my nerves. She's all crotch lately. Put it away! And how can you wear that ridiculous toilet paper cozy of a dress down the red carpet and then thrust your junk in our faces during your performance?

Consistency is something respectable Crotchy.

Rihanna:

She's just so pretty. And anyone who can pull off cherry Kool-Aid colored hair is my friend. And I love this dress. Marchesa? Looks Marchesa ish. I watched the SNL she was on recently and she did this great digital short with Andy Samberg. So awesome.

Then there are the performances...
Pretty again. I don't love the boots, but when in London...might as well.

So random. PS - This is the first time I've ever seen Jon Bon Jovi show his age. That must have been a very fun moment though. He looks insanely short... hee hee.

Shakira:

She's so fresh and pretty. I like this neckline on her. SHE looks like she showers. Unlike some people who attended.

And that bod! Damn! Good for her! She is so hot and she's not toothpick thin. However, as someone who adores fashion and clothing, I can't condone a fringed belt/skirt. Ever. I just can't.

Snooki & Pauly D:

Ok, so I saw a picture of her on Halloween and I thought her eyes looked different, but that it was just the make-up. Now I see her again and they look different. Tighter, smaller. I think she got her eyes done.

I love how awkward and uncomfortable they both look.

Ugh, I can't wait for season 3. When does it start?

Yup. Definitely got her eyes done.
Taylor Momsen:

I need to stop posting about this girl. I'm going to pull out my Parasite Hilton rule and not post about her because it just encourages her bad behavior.

Gross.