Spike TV awards...I know, I know, slim pickings!

So the Spike TV Awards were this past weekend. It's not that exciting but I figured it gives us ample opportunity to make fun of people, so let's get to it!


Christina Ricci:
Have you ever noticed that some fashion is for men, and some is for women? Considering Spike TV considers itself the man's network, I think Christina chose the wrong version here. She got the short, but the rest of it is so mod mini dress from the late 60's that it's unflattering. Especially with her severely round cranium. Yeesh.


Jamie King:
I'm honestly so curious how much coke one has to jam into their nostrils not to notice that their hair looks like this. It has to be a lot.

I realize the 80's are back, but not the hair, people - not the hair! In other news, I hate her dress.

Jennifer Carpenter:
AKA Mrs Dexter. Still creeps me out that they're married and play brother and sister. Gives me Donny and Marie vibes. Ick.
Anyhoo, I think she almost nailed it. Those shoes almost completely ruin it, but the rest is totally fantastic. The dress is great, the necklace is very fun and her hair is cute. But those shoes. Yeesh.

Julie Benz:
This woman ruins 'Dexter' for me. She's so frigging pretty, but honestly she's so annoying that every scene she's in makes me want to pull out my hair and eat it. And anyone who knows me knows how much hair creeps me out. Yuck.

I think it's her voice, mostly...and that's not acting, that's just her super-annoying voice. Another fashion for women mistake on the dress, I think.

Kaley Cuoco:
Considering how genuinely fresh and pretty this girl is, she sure manages to look terrible sometimes. Her hair is much better down, it's not doing her any favors right now...that dress is kind of fantastic, but I feel like the boots cut her off and she could have been better with something in a studded, strappy platform...

But the coup-de-gras is really the make-up. It is awful. AWFUL. It makes her look like a demon. Ugh. Compared to the Emmy's, it's a really big disappointment.

Keith Richards:
Seriously? He's still alive?


Megan Fox:
Love the dress, love the hair, hate the person it is all perched upon. She's hot though, I'll give her that.


???:
Not sure who the hell this is, but I really like her hair and wanted to mention that I think she could have put a little more effort into her outfit. You can't just throw on a t-shirt and a belt and go to an awards show. Come on.


Rhona Mitra:
On some show called 'Shooter' and is obviously into herself. Her hair looks wretched, and the dress makes me sleepy. That is all.