Renee Zellwegger & Marcia Cross in Pink - Neither are Great

I don't wear pink. I have a strawberry blonde thing going on and pink and I don't get along. Speaking of not getting along...

Renee Zellwegger:

Um, do you think she can breathe? She has this issue...she's always posing and flexing like she's in a Fitness pageant. I mean, look at her right leg. And that dress...it's very tight. Like, too tight. Like, she can't eat anything, that's for sure. Imagine if she even breathed deeply?

I cannot believe that Bradley Cooper does that.

Marcia Cross:

That dress is fugly. And that's without her black thong and white bra. It's eyelet and it's pink and it's NOVEMBER. WTF is wrong with everyone lately? It's NOT spring people. Global warming may not be adhering to the seasons, but we should with our fashions. Cotton eyelet is not acceptable.

Ugh. Pink.

Gwyneth Paltrow Was Actually Ok on Glee

So yesterday I was catching up on my 'Glee' and I watched the Gwyneth Paltrow episode.

I hate Gwynnie. I find her really pretentious and annoying, and I really wanted to dislike her on this episode, but I couldn't.

She was good. Her voice was good, her energy was fun, and she was a fun character.

I hate when I want to hate something and then I can't. Where do I direct my feelings?

Super Sad: Leslie Nielsen has Passed Away

One of the funniest men ever has passed away.

Leslie Nielsen's family has confirmed that he passed away yesterday at the age of 84 in a hospital near his home in Florida.

Very sad.

Don't call me Shirley.

RIP.

Awesome Breakdancing Kid Inspires Me to Sit on the Couch

Not really, he's making me feel mega lazy, but check out how awesome he is.


EMBED-Amazing 8 Year Old Owns Adult In Dance-Off - Watch more free videos

Beyonce Has Pee Colored Hair

I don't throw out the pee color judgment often. I really try to keep it to a minimum. But some people go blonde and it gets this urine tinged tint...and it's not their fault, it's how their hair accepts the color and how bad their colorists are for not putting in a non-uriney toner. Ha ha. Non-uriney.

Anyhoo, while I like her boots (on her, I would look like an idiot in them), I do not care for this urine tinged 'do.

She deserves better.

Blake Lively is Out Hotting It Up

Blake Lively is something else.

Seriously. I find her VERY hot. I covet her hair and her body. That's right. I said covet.

One thing I never do, though, is wear a white bra under black clothes! Come on! What are we? Amateurs? I feel it's really important to pronounce that 'amaturrrrs' - It makes you sound very pretentious and it's just fun to say. Like people who say 'shedyule'. REALLY?

Anyhoo, here she is wearing a sheer, lacey thing, and looking amazing, except for the white bra. I don't love the shoes, but more because I feel like I'm in a time warp, not because they don't look right.

This was a good photo of this outfit, because of the guy's face on the far right. He looks like he's doing one of those barfy breaths where he's not sure if he's going to make it or if he's going to wretch everywhere.

The fringe is well done on this dress, it's sleek and not tacky. The nude color definitely helps, and so do her boobs. Well, actually, they're a little spilly-overy, but she's just so perty! Shucks!

Katy Perry + Mr Burns = Motorboat Fest?

BOOOOOOURNS!

Seriously. Think of how funny the Simpsons still is after this long. Fantastic.

Here is a picture of Katy Perry in one of her signature latex dresses, adorned with Simpsons characters and basically giving Mr Burns the ol' boob suffocation.

Poor Mr Burns. He's so frail. Those boobs would kill him.

Doesn't she get rashes wearing those things?

Another Scientologist is Born

For some reason, writing that made me shudder.

John Travolta claims that Kelly Preston gave birth to an 8lb, 3oz Benjamin yesterday. There were many blind items about a faux pregnancy going on, and I'm calling this one.

Here are John, Kelly and their daughter Ella Bleu.

Dennis Rodman gets a BJ on the Radio

Dennis Rodman grosses me out. He grossed me out before this event, and even more so now.

He sounds slightly high. Maybe on coke or something. Like too much talking and mumbling.

If you really want to listen, here's the clip...

He confirms the BJ'ing at ~5:35. Gross.

Dancing With the Stars Crowns Their Winner

Sometimes, sometimes the world is right.

As I said back in September, Jennifer Grey needed to win this season of DWTS. My feeling is that it would be the perfect tribute to Patrick Swayze for teaching baby how to dance.

And now she has won. Does anyone know if she was able to mention the Swayze?

This puts a positive spin on my day.

The 2010 American Music Awards - Yawn

So, the AMA's were Sunday night. This is one of those award shows where the fans vote, so the winners are not always in line with what's going on in the world...and neither are the guests:

Avril Lavigne:

This girl has been attempting the same look for about 10 years now. It's enough. We're over it. Are there actually still any people out there who still like her? I mean really, the pink streak, the long stupid hair...I don't hate the dress, but I do hate the shoes and that's too many votes against for me to try liking her. BOO.

Black Eyed Peas:

While I do enjoy some of their music, and find it highly motivating during workouts, etc, I find them annoying. Especially Will.I.Am. Just typing that douche's name makes me cranky.

Look how much they love themselves. It's kind of nauseating. And while they're standing there as a group, I get the feeling that they all kind of hate one another and are in it for whatever they as individuals can get out of it.

In other news, their clothes make me want to punch them more.

Christina Aguilera:

Many people and photo agencies pointed out today how thick Xtina was looking last night. Here is a series of less flattering images.

But the thing that annoys me is that she's in no way fat, she's just not emaciated like everyone else. People really need to get their heads out of their asses and stop making someone who is healthy and still very small think they're fat.

Off soapbox.

Fergie:

What a weird-ass pose. She looks like a lunatic. A kind of cracked out lunatic.

I have recently become tired of my long hair. Her hair makes me think of my hair and it makes me sick of her.

I would however like to be that tan. My flesh is now becoming transparent with it's pallor.

Heidi Klum:

This is a very demure/austere outfit. This is the 3rd two level black lace skirt outfit I've seen this week, and guess what? I don't like this trend. Ugh, every time I say that I end up wearing it 3 months later. Such a lemming.

Is the belt weird, or is it just me?

Jada Pinkett-Smith:

Wearing an outfit from the cave-rave scene in Matrix 3 is respectable. She is being economical in a time where her country is suffering very badly and a large portion of the population is suffering and at or under the poverty level.

See everyone? Even Scientologists can teach us lessons about saving money.

Jessica Alba:

For real, this is the best picture I could find of her tonight. Wow. Nice shoulder detail.

This is from the ABC AMA's site. Thanks for the useless photos, morons.

Julianna Hough:

Ryan Seacrest's girlfriend apparently. Beard? What's that?

She used to have blonde hair, and I think she should go back to it, because she looks about 10 years older than RySea right now. Cougar!

Julie Benz:

I hated this woman's character on 'Dexter'. I was actually happy *SPOILER ALERT* when her character was found dead in the bathtub at the end of last season. Damn I'm evil.

Anyhoo, she's on a new family show and she's not nearly as irritating on it. Her breast implants are still distracting, but I find her muppet face somewhat endearing here. Also, her hair is the perfect fall blonde.

Those shoes are heinous though. Ew.

Katy Perry:

Another muppet face, another happy me. This dress is very her, very feminine and cute and soft, but the length is only enhhh for me. I know that's not a word or a descriptor, but you know what I mean, right? It's cutting her at the widest part of her calf, making her look like she has really wide calves. It could have hit just above the knee and been much better.

I will, however, give her points for not wearing a latex dress. Those make me sweat just looking at them.

Ke$ha (aka Good Ol' Ke$ha):

I was totally going to title this part like that, but then I realized it wouldn't follow alphabetic sequence and that stressed me out a bit. I don't always get to stick to my anal retentive behavior, but I must admit that I like things alphabetized.

Oh my god, I'm having some serious focus issues tonight. This girl is some kind of weirdo. She's been rocking this mohawk for a few days now...and the fact that she showed up to several events with it this weekend really just confirms my thoughts that she doesn't bathe. Ew!

Also, really, it's enough with the garbage bags as part of your clothing. This isn't Derelicte, this is real life. Ugh. Also, you can't really see in this pic, but she has pyramid studs along her eyebrows above. Like, really?

I'm glad I got a pic of her performing because people said that they released a wasteful cannon of confetti at the end of every performance...kind of takes away the specialness...

Mandy Moore:

Those are some gross shoes. They look so 1995. Like that weird heel height of 2.75" and the wide straps are not doing her feet any favors. This would have been so much better with a nude patent pump.

The dress has the right idea, but the color combo is not doing it for me. Weird Easter-esque pale colors on silver...She's too cute to hate, but I don't like her outfit.

Miley Cyrus:

The first thing I thought when I saw this was that it was toilet paper stuck to her shoe. Imagine?

Anyhoo, I actually don't hate the dress. It's kind of of season-wise...looks more spring than fall-winter, but it's pretty. The train is a bit much. It didn't need to be 43 feet long. In fact, I would cut it off altogether.

Oh god, this bitch turned 18 today. Imagine this shit show?

Pink & Carey Hart:

She's pregnant! Isn't that nice? I also like her Ethel/Gertrude/Mona hair color of blue silver. It's like an old lady head of hair. Actually, it's kind of fun on her with the short do. It looks shiny and healthy.

This is another one of those stupidly cropped AMA site photos. Morons.

Rihanna:

I wouldn't have been half surprised if I saw Joan Collins at the top of this photo, but no, it's Rihanna. Coordinating hair and dress color is not an easy feat. You have to give her points.

I find this look a little too covered up and old lady for her. Yes, I see the transparent parts, perv, it's more the long sleeve crew neck look of it.

Wouldn't you have liked to see her in something shorter?

Sheryl Crow:

Oh the eternal hippie. It's too bad she didn't have time to wash her hair.

Taylor Swift:

UM. Where did this girl come from? Is this what having sex with Jake Gyllenhal does to you? If that is the case, then I need to have a serious talk with my husband.

It's like she grew up overnight. She looks FANTASTIC. I am so glad I'm not forced to look at her perfect beachy waves and pink lips.

The bangs are a revelation (can you tell I'm not religious?). She was born for a heavy bang and eyeliner.

And look below! The suit is so perfect. I don't like the shoes...but I have a problem with the Oxford shoe - I just don't find it pretty. And you need super skinny legs...and I have muscular legs.

I would have liked to see a nice heel here, but I can live with it. If this is the new Jake Gyllenhall sexed Taylor Swift, I like her. Tell her to stick around!

Someone Gave Mischa Barton a Reality Show. Ugh.

Someone gave her a reality show. I don't know who did this, but I won't watch it. I don't want to encourage her fame.

I also refuse to support anyone who will wear high waisted, suspendered red shorts.

ON CAMERA.

The Situation is One of GQ's Men of the Year 2010 - Shudder

I try as hard as I can not to encourage this guy, because it makes me sad that he's going to make $5 million this year and I will make nothing near that, but definitely work much harder than him.

But I can't not post this story...

He has been named GQ's Sensation of the Year...wow. And he is. If you think about it. I spent the week between Christmas and New Year's last year catching up on what I'd missed on Jersey Shore and then New Year's was an amazing episode.

The show is like watching a car wreck, it's all sorts of fantastic. This guy has wrangled that fame into a career. Who knows how long lived it will be, but it's still impressive.

The article is here. It's very well written.

Courtney Love Keeps Flashing Her Business on Twitter

I'm going to forewarn you. If you click on this you will see something. I don't have words to describe exactly what you'll see, but you'll see things.

There are a couple of weirdo parts to this photo:

1. Someone took this picture. That is not a self. Ew.
2. That looks to be in a hotel. Is the furniture properly sanitized for future guests?
3. What is that large ball thing?

Anyhoo. Here's my edited version...click here if you want to see the NSFW/eyes version.

Channing Tatum Not Looking Hot

What is this hairstyle called? Comb-over greaser?

It gives me shivers.

Oh My Oh My Oh My

If you don't know who Katie Price is, congratulations.

She is a celebrity from the UK, better known for her gigantic breasts (hidden here by her mock perfume bottle) and her willingness to wear very little to cover them. She is also known for being on several reality shows there.

Anyhoo, she has a pretty extensive line of products tied to her name also: children's books, clothing, horse somethings and perfume.

This is a pic of her at the launch for this perfum and I am aghast by the blatant tackiness of it all. I mean, I get the nude bodysuit look, Britney rocked it many a year ago.

However, I feel obliged to point out to Katie Price (aka Jordan) that nude bodysuits (with bedazzled bajingas) really only work when they actually match your skin tone.

Basically Katie, nude is only nude when your flesh isn't radioactively orange.

NKOTB, BSB and Pauly D???

I really didn't think there was anything else that would make my teen self burst forth all gangly and awkward regarding this concert tour...but it has happened. And she's not alone!

But now my adult self is satisfied. The one legitimately talented member of the Jersey Shore cast is in the works to add him self to the New Kids on the Block and Backstreet Boys tour.

Pauly D is probably my favourite cast member on Jersey Shore. He's the eldest, he's the most measured and he's hilarious. He is also apparently a good DJ.

Hmm, is this tour coming to Montreal?

WTF Was Leighton Meester Thinking?

For the longest time I've avoided giving Leighton her own tag, but I don't think I can anymore. If she is going to insist going out in the world wearing hot messes like this, I think she may need to be a consistent feature on this page.

I mean, I'm almost at a loss for words. WTF?!?!

WTF was she thinking? Not only is this not a nice outfit, it's not flattering at all. The front and back plunge is really weird, and the harem legs and the transparency and the bum crease and the hair. Oh god.

I think I'm going to have an aneurysm.

People Names Ryan Reynold's 2010's Sexiest Man Alive

Yes, Ryan Reynolds is good looking. I know.

But this picture? THIS is the picture they chose for the cover of their magazine?

I really think this is poor selection of a cover photo. Here are my reasons:

1. He is wearing clothes

2. He has pervy Miami Vice stubble

3. His hair looks like Conan O'Brian's

4. He is wearing clothes and they look like grocery run clothes

5. His eyebrows are looking mega caterpillar-y

6. His eye contact is creepy, not good

7. IN FACT he looks vaguely confused or like he has an upset stomach or something

In short, I hate this picture and I think it's a terrible choice. Like, duh, shirtless.

Also, I totally think Jon Hamm should have won. He is on fire this year.

Natalie Portman's Ass is All Sorts of Fantastic

Seriously. When I saw this picture, I literally went 'DAYUMMMM'

Kudos Nat.

Anna Paquin is Wearing Terrible Shoes.

So, it's November. Maybe we need to retire jean shorts for the season? I'm just saying.

And no, it is not an option to wear them over black tights. Please note.

Anyhoo, Anna Paquin was seen out and about wearing jean shorts (aka jorts) this week and she was wearing some pretty frightening witchy shoes with them.

It's a really bad situation.

Discuss.

So, Jessica Simpson is Getting Married Again.

Earlier this week, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo announced their engagement. EARLIER THIS WEEK.

This weekend Jessica Simpson's rep confirmed that she and Eric Johnson are getting married.

There were many, many stories that Jessica was really upset when she heard about Nick & Vanessa's engagement. In fact, they ended up at the same restaurant around the time of the announcement and JSimp got wastoo and ended up stumbling out of the restaurant at the end of the night.

It just seems a little...sad that she's suddenly engaged also. It's terrible timing. Now, for sure, this guy wants to lock this down, but could he have worse timing? He's rumored to be majorly in debt and Jess has TONS of money, thanks to her footwear/purse/apparel lines grossing millions a year.

Of course HE had to get engaged to her, but did she need to get engaged to him? It makes me sad...the timing is terrible and awkward and it seems like this girl can never catch a break.

Things I'm Excited For: Sofia Vergara's Talk Show

Isn't this bound to be amazing? She's so ridiculously over the top. I'm very excited for the 7 episodes that will air of this thing.

Amber Tamblyn CLEARLY Miss the 80's the First Time Around

Some things were not meant to come back. This Dynasty-esque satin dress is one thing.

Another is the white fringe suede bikini top/skirt/jacket outfit from 'Can't Buy Me Love'. Oh Patrick Dempsey, you were so innocent.

For real though. I don't know if this girl has no friends, or what, but this is EMBARRASSING.

And if the dress weren't bad enough, her hair is AWFUL. Seriously. Whatever curling iron raped her head should apologize, and so should the arm that executed it.

Gahhh. Terrible Sunday morning fodder.

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show Brought Out the Freaks

Is 'freaks' fair? Maybe creeps is better. Anyhoo, I won't post any pics of the girls because maintaining my self esteem is risky enough, I don't want to batter it any more. Ha ha. So fragile. Excuse, me, I am going to go cry.

Ok, I'm BACK! Let's check out some of the people who felt it important to attend this event.

Adrian Grenier:

I don't know why, but this guy really gets on my nerves. Well, not true. I do know why. Have you watched the last season of 'Entourage'? He RUINS it. And from the rumours out there it's because he was being a prima donna about his paycheck and producers basically told him to go F himself. So they've almost cut him out of the show, just making him an unlikeable douche.

The fact that he showed up to this firms up my opinion that he's an unlikeable douche.

Alan Cumming:

How this man makes me giggle. What is he wearing? Is that an Asian style Nehru jacket? Are those combat boots? It's all sorts of good. I love him.

Debbie Harry:

The photo agency had her listed as 'Deborah'. Uh, really? You're Debbie Harry. Let's not try to be fancy at this point. Especially when you're not following it up with any refined beauty or fashion regimen.

Father time is not so kind to the alcohol and drug addled. Note this.

Karolina Kurkova:

I would wear booties and rompers all the time if I looked like this in them. I would prefer to have skinny legs like that so things looked cute like that.

As you know, I have a weakness for all things jumper/romper, so I love this outfit. Also, I want her hair. It looks really healthy.

Katy Perry:

Many complaints all over the internet that she hid her best assets the other night at the MTV EMA's...well, no more complaining pervs. The boobs are out in full force.

I find the color palette super season inappropriate, but it's so pretty that you can't hate it. I would love to own those shoes. Wouldn't they look fab with black skinny jeans and a white silk blouse from Joie? Ugh. I need to be rich.

Malin Akerman:

This dress is gorge. Understated, sleek. It's like something you'd expect to see Demi Moore in. She kind of has terrible hair, but she's done well with it here. My only complaint is that her heels look really low, and I feel like that is the lazy way out. Come on, go tall! It's fun.

Natasha Bedingfield:

I want to say she's a singer, but I want even more to say she looks really awkward and weird in this photo. There were more flattering ones, but this one made me happy, so this is the one I'm posting.

I wonder what her tween daughter thought of her stealing her prom dress to wear to this show. Rude, no?

Parasite and Nicky Hilton:

Really? You're posing your leg like that? And you're not even wearing Louboutins? Embarrassing! Nicky's dress is a serious hot mess and her weird choker necklace punctuates the mess just right. The shoes are fab though.

I don't even want to comment on the other one. Wearing a turtleneck and black tights doesn't make me forget your sex tape or your recent arrest for cocaine. Twat.

Vin Diesel:

"Hey everyone! I came to this fashion show, so I must be straight!"

Still don't believe you Vin. Sorry.