Grindhouse premiere

Quentin Tarantino is really not a handsome man. And I don't know if he's been delving into plastic surgery or something, but his face is really looking tight, nasty and really waxy. If I didn't already have a crush on Kurt Russel (ever since I saw 'Overboard'), I would now be changing my ways because he looks like an Adonis next to this beast. Ew.

Let's be serious though...can we all agree that QT only gets to stand near women who look like the below because he makes a wonderful film?

Carla Gugino
What a babe! I find her so pretty. And after seeing her partially nude in Sin City, I can say with confidence that she has nice breasts also. That's right, I'm confident enough to say that.

I love her smile. She looks like she'd be happy to bake me a pie. Hopefully not in that tranny make-up and that whorey dress, but still, a pie!

Eva Mendes
Although I really do like her outfit, it's really inappropriate for this event. She looks like she's going to go to the bookstore on a lovely spring morning. Maybe she'll stop at the market and get some flowers..

Am so glad to see her wearing wide-leg denim though. Can we move on from the legging-jeans now? Please?

Jordan Ladd
I don't know who this girl is, but I am going to cut off her head and perch mine atop the bloody stump that remains. Even with the ragged edges and bloody parts I think I would look great. Wow. She has a Barbie-like body.

Marley Shelton
I am too lazy to see if this missy has been in anything aside from 'Sin City', and I don't care, so I'm not sure why I'm writing anything. Ok, I'll admit, it's just so I can be insulting.

The dress is a weird yellow colour that I hate so much that I want to poke out my eyes. And speaking of eyes (what a segue!), what is that eyeliner? She looks like the girl in the discount perfume booth at the ghetto mall down Crack Ave.

PS - she also got those chandelier earrings there

Rose McGowan
There has been much in the news about Rose McGowan's eyes lately...I see why. They are seriously wonked out. She looks like she has Fergi/Meth face. Yikes.

I love that she's embraced her palour though...that's awesome.