So here is who I did recognize. Shh. I know I'm old. Get off my back.
That seam is doing unflattering things to her breast. It's making her look triple breasted. This is also too tight. Not a lot too tight, but just too tight enough that it's making things look stretched and lumpy.
Amy Schumer:
By all accounts (for the people who weren't watching VEEP and Game of Thrones) she was really funny. She's been funny but kind of annoying for a while...now she's getting out of the annoying thing and just becoming really funny. I saw her on Ellen (check out a clip here) and she is so funny Ellen can't breathe. It's rare you see Ellen lose it like that.
Oh, and she looks hot. Nice gams.
Anna Camp:
Perpetually the girl who plays the annoying blonde...poor her. Remember when she was on Mindy for the first 4 episodes before they realized her friends were not that funny and they focused on her crazy office mates?
I don't like her eyeliner or this dress. The netting reminds me of bacteria. It's grossing me out now. A lot.
Bella Thorne:
Does anyone else kind of want to punch this girl? I can't place why, but I really can't stand her. I mean, look at this picture of her from Coachella this past weekend. WHO THE HELL WEARS A FLORAL CROWN UNDER THEIR HAIR? And that low? It's like an eyebrow shade. Wearing a floral crown is a conscious decision to sacrifice your hair. Ugh.
Except for the giant appliques on the body of this dress, I actually don't hate it. Even though it has that same bacteria mesh. Oh great. Now I'm dry heaving again.
Brittany Snow:
What's her deal? Oh, thank you IMDB, she's in Pitch Perfect 2. I don't remember her from the first one...but all these blond actresses blend together.
Look how tan her feet are. It's a lot.The color block is good though.
Cara Delevingne:
Well, this is something. I mean, she can pretty much wear anything. And it's not that this isn't nice, but it doesn't feel particularly springy. And what's going on with her hair. Is that a pin curl or something? I dunno. No likey.
Charlie XCX:
Ok. Raincoat as dress.
All I can think of is how sweaty I would be in that.
Ugh. Like a sweaty beach umbrella.
Her hair looks good.
Hailee Steinfeld:
Aww, remember a couple of years ago when she was innocent and you never saw her bra? I guess those days are over.
We can all agree this is a HOT MESS though, right? Yikes.
Those shoes are murdering me. I'm obsessed with gladiator sandals right now, but those are 6 shades of wrong.
Jennifer Lopez:
I cannot say anything wrong about this woman. She is spectacular.
I will ask 2 questions though:
- How are her breasts doing that?
- Why did they do her make-up like that?
Otherwise, glorious.
Jessie J.:
Straight from the Dorothy Zbornak Evening Collection at Ross, here is Jessie J.
Bitch, please. Bea Arthur owns that look - yes, even posthumously. Don't even try.
Kelly Osbourne:
I can't. Look at her legs. So orange. And why does she have the same haircut as my husband.
GO HOME. AND STAY THERE.
Can all awards shows now have a sign saying "No Kelly Allowed"?
Rebel Wilson:
She looks AMAHZING. Her hair has never looked better. And somehow she is managing to pull off those low heeled shoes without looking like a grade school teacher. I love this.
Scarlett Johansson:
Despite having this weirdo facial expression, she is KILLING this. She JUST had a baby people. JUST. And look how amazing she looks in this tailored fuchsia jumpsuit. With Easter egg accessories. Amazing.
Shailene Woodley:
Does anyone else really hate this girl? Because I do. She just seems like such a moron, and a granola moron, which makes it worse. And then there is her acting. I was pretty excited to see Divergent, but she is so not engaging as Tris that I don't think I can watch the sequels. Theo James doesn't help things either, because he's a major dud, but ugh. Her.
And this outfit. WTF?!
Willow Shields:
Aww, this gives me memories of when Hailee Steinfeld was still a young girl.
This girl is so beautiful. She hasn't even grown into that yet. And look how elegant and feminine she is already. Stunning. I mean, matronly, but her hair and make-up. Beautiful!
Aww, this gives me memories of when Hailee Steinfeld was still a young girl.
This girl is so beautiful. She hasn't even grown into that yet. And look how elegant and feminine she is already. Stunning. I mean, matronly, but her hair and make-up. Beautiful!
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