Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Sandra Bullock and People take down all the other gossip magazines.


ALL of them.

ALL.

One fell swoop.

This picture is a must know of the year. Keep it in your memory. This is celebrity gossip classic.

Quick Post - Jessica Alba and Kate Hudson


"Hi! We just purchased a Sephora and rubbed the contents on our faces! Don't we look tran-tastic?"

Also, take a real close look and tell me WTF is going on with Jessica Alba's 5-head. Wowzers.




Seriously ladies - let's dial down the insane make-up spackling.

And Jessica - see someone about your hairline. It's, um, retreating in fear from your be-spackled face.

Jennifer Lopez's hair is ridiculous. No, correction - RIDONCULOUS


I used to actually attempt this hairdo with my hair. I don't have enough (for the record/if you care). This woman has a ton of hair. And it's all piled atop her hair as if she is the personification and hair-ification of a child's drawing of a snowman. See here.

It's ridiculous. RIDONCULOUS. It's silly. And in a way where I'm not laughing.

UGh.

Mischa Barton MUST be visually impaired


For real. How does one leave their home looking like this without some kind of visual impairment?

It's really so bad, and I think it might be a jumper. Who counselled this poor girl to wear a jumper with hips like that?

On a positive note (for her) she doesn't look too shabby without make-up. I'm impressed.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Is this photo of Renee Zellweger going to haunt anyone else's dreams?


No, for real. I don't think I am going to sleep tonight.

This picture is freaking me the f-ck out!

It's like she's looking into the depths of my mind and thinking of eating it because all she does is drink coffee and exercise.

I really wonder how she could score Bradley Cooper. He must be gay, because that doesn't make any sense. That would explain why he wore the hell out of that suit in 'The Hangover'...

I'm so scared to fall asleep tonight that I might drink 8 coffees. Now.

Excuse me.

What's up with Aniston's puffy face?


Those of you who know me even a smidge, know that I love me some Aniston. Love her. I think she's sublime. I think she's gorgeous and I covet her hair, her tan and her body.

I am slightly concerned with her face here. She seems to be suffering from filler face...à la Madonna.

Like, when is her face ever this puffy? She's so thin. So little body fat, yet a puffy baby face? Hmmm.

That looks like injections to me!

What do you think?

Jersey Shore still filming. FANTASTIC.


God I love that show. And I can't wait.

Here is some Miami beach tackiness.

Is that a nip slip on Angelina? And why? WHY WHY? Why are they so gross?

Jenny looks fantastic...those glasses are much too small for her face...

Angelina looks pretty um, like Angelina.

Jessica Simpson has large boobs

Maybe you didn't know, so I made the title of the post informative. Those are BIG. Wow. And that dress is awful. AWFUL.

The length makes her stumpy and the hips are so, so bad.

WHO ARE HER FRIENDS and why don't they HELP HER?

They're mean!!!

Hayden Pannettiere has a boy name, body AND haircut now


First, she is named Hayden. Like the guy who ruined the Star Wars prequels.

Then, her body is kind of stumpy and gymnastically manly.

And now she cut off most of her hair. And it's not good. Not good.

Oh my god. I'm almost at a loss for words.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Lindsay Lohan looking FRESH at Coachella


Mmmm, Lindsay is looking FRESH. Not really though.

I took this from a blog post talking about how she owes $600,000 in credit card debt. Imagine 18% interest on that!?!

Anyhoo, I was wondering why her spray tan had wiped off her knees and I figure it's one of 2 reasons:

1) She is paying off her debts on her knees. Ahem.

2) She is getting into more debts on her knees. SNIFFFFFFF!

What do YOU think?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Britney Photoshopped for Candie's ads


I don't mean to be an ignorant hooker...but who isn't Photoshopped anymore? I P-shop myself, for Christ's sake.

Anyway, if that's all they did to make her look better, good for her. A touch up on the leg and back. Uh, better than the people (ahem, FERGIE) who need their entire faces airbrushed to oblivion.

Come on. Props to Britney for looking pretty fantastic.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Oh Lindsay Lohan, how you give me gifts from god.


As we've all discussed, Lindsay Lohan here is clearly on a path to death. The girl is clearly cracked out half the time and needs to be taken off the drugs or she will be a less grieved Hollywood drug death.

This week photos from her 6126 legging line came out and they are gloriously skanky. I couldn't ask for more from our Skank Extraordinaire.

Please go to her site (just so she has traffic hits) and peruse the collection. To the right is one I consider to be the best of them.

People I Hate: Kat von D, part 16,457,342


So this week, there were rumours about Kat here being caught 'canoodling' (I love that term) with Bam Margera (pictured here holding hands with her).

Rampant denial followed suit, but I have to say, I don't hold hands with any man who isn't my husband unless it's my brother or my father in law. WTF?

Most importantly - THAT IS HER HAIR? COME ON. Also, in an effort to open my eyes to what people feel are the wonders of Kat von D, I watched another episode of LA Ink.

She seemed really, really stoned the entire time I was watching. She was listless, super thin, like sickly thin, and out of it. And sitting in a throne the whole time, which really sickened me.

I don't get it people, please enlighten me.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Jersey Shore Season 2 starts filming!

It's like my dreams have come true. My life has been empty since 'Jersey Shore' finished earlier this year. My friends and I are at a loss for what to discuss, my husband and I hate everything on TV...it has just been bleak.

But now season 2 has started filming, and according to MTV they'll be filming the majority of the season in Miami and filming the finale in Jersey Shore "once the boardwalk warms up". What a hot mess.

I have one objection - WTF is Angelina doing there? Biatch abandoned the glamour that was the Jersey Shore. She doesn't deserve to be there!

Enjoy these lovely photos:


JWoww working out in a tube top. Obviously. Who doesn't? Mmm, everyone. That's who.
Skeez hooker Angelina ("Um, Helloooooo!") arriving with actual luggage (not pictured). They're going to have some 'splaining to do as to why she's there...I would have been a much better choice. Obviously.

Snooki, being all manners of fabulous in one shot. When doesn't wearing a gigantic sombrero mean only good things? I mean, look at this guy!


And of course, all the boys hanging out in a parking lot, shirtless. If you've been to South Beach, you know this is very common. In fact, girls walking down the street in bikinis and heels is also very common.

One thing I will say, as much as I love Vinny for being a good Italian boy, he could use some GTL because looks like a doughy kid next to the three of them. Also, nice Zigs Pauly. Way to represent REEBOK! (My new employer!)

Where the F is Sammi? Being a difficult twit, I bet you. Aghh! I hate her.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Downward Spiral Watch 2010: Lindsay Lohan

DRAMA!

Lindsay has had a rough few weeks and it's clear to everyone that she is really struggling through life and needs help...in fact, some are saying that she was high on crack when she fell into those cacti last week...see here.

They're saying that she's moved on to more serious drugs now and all sorts of people are trying to get her into rehab...On top of that, she's so desperate to party and to be seen that she's showing up to events for people who regularily trash her...Star Magazine's party (who have long called her out on cocaine use), Perez Hilton's birthday party (again, always calling her out on the coke use)...it's sad. And that's not the worst of it.

She's had fights with George Lopez, her father and others on Twitter, and just this morning she's bitching about her friends setting her up to get rejected from Voyeur last night...and there's a lot of 'why me?' going on...

Sounds like drug fuelled paranoia and self pity to me...you?

Here are some pics and screen caps from Twitter depicting the mess of the past couple of weeks for this girl.


This is from last night...she claims the paps were there but I can't find a picture anywhere...so how much do people really care? And what's with the paranoia?

Here she is with Perez Hilton who only the night before had asked a whole room for a moment of silence for her, since everyone is sure she's going to die soon. Plus, for years he has been calling her out on the coke use...Now they're buddies? Clear desperation
Here she is at the Star magazine party where people said she was drinking heavily and looked like a serious mess. Perez asked for the moment of silence not knowing she was there...yet there she is, cozying up the next night.


These tweets are because George Lopez asked what the suspicious white powder was all over her feet in the below pictures. The question everyone was asking - did her 8-ball explode all over her feet? How f-d do you have to be to leave the house like that?
F-d.

'The Hills' looks compelling...?

Once again, I need to stress that clearly the world is on it's way to a horrible end because I was just thinking, 'wow, this season of The Hills looks like it's going to be good.'

If you don't hear from me again it's because I have dug a hole and decided to sit in it until I no longer believe that.

In case you're wondering what made me think that...check this out. It's actually worth it to go to the last few seconds (~3:30) to see Heidi Montag's new face attempt to cry. It's a frightening mess.

Thursday, April 01, 2010

What is going on with the world? Cameron Diaz looks hot again.


I am really starting to get depressed.

This is the 2nd thing in recent time.

Clearly, the world is upside-down and inside-out and I need to move to New Zealand. Because, I'm sorry, I cannot compute.

She needs to hire that make-up artist for her regular life because she has looked KILLER hot while filming this movie.

Glee on the cover of Rolling Stone


Initially, I was slightly concerned that Lea Michele seemed very young to be flashing her panties like this...but the good ol' internet told me she's 23, so I'm ok with it now. If not a bit jealous of her ass.

And how much do you love Jane Lynch. If you have not watched this show, please watch Glee. It's so cute and good.

Plus, she actually wears tiny skirts like that and has really good legs.

Watch Glee.

Hee hee! Jennifer Aniston's bum gets fingered!


Love that this photo appeared!
Shows that Jen is a little kinky!

Anyone else not at all surprised that Gerard Butler would be into something like this?

Ha ha, seriously, can't stop laughing.