Monday, March 31, 2008

She NEVER learns!


The Skank Extraordinaire has managed to gross me out, yet once again, by dyeing her goddam hair blonde again. Why? Why??????? Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyy?

It's just so horrible! Why does she insist on being blonde? This better be for a movie. Piss me off...

Also, can we get Samantha Ronson away from her? She is clearly a bad influence. Get Jamie Spears over here to snatch her up to and clean up her life.

Blonde.
Blonde!
Jesus Christ!

[Pic source: DListed]

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Kate Bosworth needs to hit a Quizno's


I will be honest, I've never eaten Quizno's. I don't want to. I am also strongly against Dagwood's (another Canadian copycat chain). All of you go away and leave me and Jared to our subs. Love Subway. Anyhoo, I'm not being biased here, obviously, because I'm telling someone to eat Quizno's...that someone is Kate Bosworth.

Um, I'm all for being in shape and svelte, but looking like a game of Pick-Up Stix is no good. Damn girl, grab a foot-long and choke it down.

Um, what's on your face?


So, Fergie has come out and admitted to NOT being Fergnant. Great. What the shit am I going to do with the term? I guess I'll put it in the vault for now.

I didn't notice it in the last pic I posted (too concentrated on the bump), but her complexion has something weird going on...no? It's really waxy and sweaty looking.

Here's another pic of her last night, out with Josh Duhamel looking equally as sweat-waxy. What's up with that. I love the casual pose that shows off her ring too...I do that all the time. It's not conscious, I'm just showing off. Ok, sometimes it is.

"Oh look! My hand is facing out and - oops! - there's my ring!"

Ha ha. But in seriousness, her face is waxy and she has Miss Piggy hair.

This is a thinker


I love clothes. LOVE. I love wearing them, buying them and having them. I really love a lot of the stuff by Marc Jacobs...and used to want to gay hump him, but oh my god he's been acting the douche lately!

He's been cavorting all about LA la land acting like a fool and teasing two boys back and forth. Also, most importantly, he's been wearing THIS:


Yikesville.

[Pic source: Socialite's Life]

Britgate is over: BOOORING

But, on the other hand, congrats to her for not being scary anymore.

Seems like her Pops, Jaime, has been a really positive influence on her life. A little overbearing and limiting, but maybe that's what she needed after a childhood of no restrictions. Watch me later on Oprah for more insightful comments about things I know nothing about. Ha ha ha.

What I do know about is WEAVES! Woah! This one is not so great. Not to mention the fur cap sleeves...

I love that it looks like a home highlighting kit hit that up...hee hee. Oh well. Do you ever wonder how long her REAL hair is?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Added to the Bane List: Renee Zellwegger


I have decided that having Renee Zellwegger on the 'Axis of Evil' (wow - haven't mentioned that in a while) only isn't enough anymore. I hate her so zealously (yah, that's right) that she needs to be on the Bane List.

Honestly! She's on the cover of In Style this month, and it's almost enough to make me cancel my subscription. I have been a subscriber to In Style for ~8 years and it really grinds my gears that they would put someone as horrific as her on the cover. Then a full article about how lovely she is. Um, I can see the pictures. She's not lovely. She's the opposite.

Here is a picture of her with what looks like a fresh chemical peel. Looking gross, RZ, looking gross.

And that hair! It looks like the Shady Pines mental health ward special. Gahhh.

BANE LIST!!!!

[Pic source: Lainey Gossip]

Monday, March 24, 2008

Friday, March 21, 2008

Happy Resurrection of that Christ guy!


Enjoy the long weekend people! Hope you are glad some dude apparently came back to life this weekend years ago. I know I am. Fridays off rock!

Our Goddess: Kate Beckinsale


When I was 15 (an eon ago) I used to want my grad (French Canadian term for prom) dress to be a bandage dress. It was a look I coveted for a long time. It ended up being some other hot mess that...let's just say I had the seamstress cut a hole out of the stomach area. Oy.

I still covet bandage dresses, in a nostalgic kind of way. I have been working out HARD for almost 6 months now, but I am sure I will never look as good in a bandage dress as Kate Beckinsale does, so I'm going to give up hope and just pretend this is me in the dress.

I have adjusted the photo slightly to help the fantasy.


Seriously. I'm going to stop posting because I'm pretty sure I'm going insane.

Melissa Joan Hart still gets pictures taken of her


Can someone explain to me why, though? Seriously? Why do people take pictures of this ho? What has she done aside from getting pregnant recently?

What is with her husband's arms? Has he been trying to pick her up to knock her up again? Aww gross. I just pictured Sabrina the Teenage Witch sexing it.

Gonna go barf it up.

Rihanna wears stupid clothes often


Here is an example:

Even the guy behind her on the right is looking at those shoes. Yeesh.

People I hate: Kat von D


I hate Kat von D. I hate her. I loathe her. There isn't a word strong enough to express what I feel for this girl. I hate everything about her: her voice, her hair, her stupid spare tire/love handles that she INSISTS on showing off all the time...She is also a HUGE MORON. I have no problem with people dropping out of school, but I really do not feel they should be on TV showing how stupid they are.

I was very annoyed when we heard about LA Ink because I'm a firm believer that douchebags should not be on television. It limits my viewing, obviously.

Here is a pic of her with her new boyfriend, Nikki Sixx. Wow. I think this might actually be the MOST douchebaginess I have ever seen in one photo. There is so much effort to look cool and alternative and not care what the norm is. Gahhh! It makes me so angry.

Ok, I'm going to rage out - I need to stop looking at this pic. Enjoy picking it apart and finding all the effort and doucheness.

Oh my god. HIS HAIR.

I can't handle it. I'm adding her to the BANE LIST. She is joining the likes of Mischa Barton and Star Jones!

Wanna see what else I have to say about her?
Check out the other Hating Kat Von D posts:

Fashion mishaps

I don't know who this is, but they should be shot for wearing this.

Oh my god, why?

Have I mentioned that I hate Ed Hardy crap? I was just in Florida on vacation and it is EVERYWHERE. Every idiot and their aunt is wearing it. I hate when things get popular. That's why I wear bathrobes everywhere. No one is going to wear that. Wait'll you see the fancy one I got for my wedding!

Oh my god. I think someone drugged me. I'm such an idiot today.

Fergie's bump watch


So Fergie was seen out earlier this week with a suspicious belly...I know. I don't care either.

I don't want to dwell on this too much, because it makes me sleepy, but I have decided that if she is in fact pregnant, I will call it 'FERGnancy' and call her 'Fergnant'.

Gotta do something to brighten up this boring-ass non-news.

PS - Nice face Fergie.

Gwyneth Paltrow sickens me (normally)


There is something about this woman that makes me want to pull out my eyeballs and throw them at her. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the smug, thin lipped smirk, the birthing hips, the dishwater complexion or the fact that she ruined Coldplay, but I hate her. For shizzle. Ha ha. I am so white.

She managed to piss me off this week by looking less horrible than normal. Check it out:

...Piss me off with your non-hideousness will you? Bitch!

Jennifer Lopez's babies


Did you ever see 'The Cell'? That movie is fucked up. My hubby-to-be used to turn it on at parties in the background to freak people out. Hee hee.

Anyway, I don't remember if there were creepy twins in it, but it makes me nervous for these babies. Babies are cute, I know, stop telling me. I get it. I'm just saying that I think the boy looks a bit like daddy...and we all know daddy is creepy-lookin'.

People paid $6 million for these photos and apparently, part of the agreement was that they never refer to Jennifer Lopez as JLo again. She's trying to shed the nickname.

Um, bitch, YOU named your album that. It's your fault. So annoying!

Anyhoo, babies. Lots of hair. Under-eye circles already.

I don't know.

Sex tapes are the new black

There are WAY too many celebrity sex tapes. Too many. I mean, in what world would it be possible for all these people to actually be this stupid?

Anyhoo, 2 sex tapes came out this week - one supposedly Kristin Davis & the other, our Skank Extraordinaire, Lindsay Lohan - and after a few hours of delighted panic, they were both found to be false. I think we need to stop believing these things.

I'm lazy, so I'm not going to post all the fakeness. I'll link you to it though:


follow the links for the NSFW stuff (thanks Egotastic!) but for now, enjoy wholesome office supplies.

But for serious, the next time someone asks me what is 'in' this season, I'm going to tell them sex tapes. They should make one and send it to their Mom for Easter. Nice.

Monday, March 17, 2008

People are really strange

So Lainey, of Laineygossip.com mentioned this video last week and I thought, "Ok, I'll look at it, it's only 5:38, I have time..."

This video changed my life. Actually, it really didn't, but it's such a rotten piece of garbage that it's worth watching to make yourself feel better about what you're doing in life.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Let me know what you think...

Sunday, March 16, 2008

SNL last night

So last night my hubby-to-be and I were watching a burn of 'Jumper' and it froze at the climax. Awesome. I have no clue how it ends. That'll teach us to watch torrents. We were a little annoyed until we turned off the DVD player and realized Jonah Hill was hosting SNL.

He is a funny kid, so we thought we'd check it out. I don't know if someone spiked my protein shake or something but DAMN! We were laughing our asses off! That's rare with SNL, but it was good last night. Or I was drugged.

This is a pic of one of his scenes where he was pretending to be a 6 year old kid at a Beni Hana with his divorced dad and he was acting like all the old Jewish men I've had the opportunity to sit next to in restaurants in Florida. Click on the photo to watch the video. It's cute.

Also, the SNL digital shorts are quickly becoming instant classics. Below is a cap from the one called 'Andy's Dad'. Too funny. Click on the pic again to see it...

Anyhoo, the whole point of this was to say that Mariah Carey performed (instead of Janet Jackson) and her legs were INSANE! She is not the type of person I can picture at the gym (I asked my H-T-B if other people can work out for you) but her legs look amazing. She looks really good, in fact. Good for Mariah.