Lindsay...a love and hate relationship

I love this girl. There is something about her that makes me feel as if she is a younger me. All the men, the excessive drug use, the weight loss. It rings a bell with me. I feel like I could be her older sister.

I want so desperately to be proud of her and love her, but she continues to disappoint me, in the following ways:

1. She wears leggings. A lot.
2. She uses too much tanner
3. The tanner she uses is very ORANGE
4. She won't eat
5. She acts like a moron
6. She wears coral lipstick
7. She wears half gloves

Now, I will give her props for having wonderful purses, fabu hair and beautiful shoes, but there are some things I can't forgive. For instance, the below resort wear that she seems to have borrowed from a some poor senior citizen's closet in their Florida RV community.

Half gloves? Wha???

Everyone always says it's because she had a hard time recently due to her parents' divorce. Fuck off. You're not a kid anymore, get over it.

Oh, how I love and hate her at the same time! The dichotomy of it all!

Lindsay, call me. I will be your life coach...you seem cheesy and into those types of things