Pregnancy Rumours: Kiki Dunst

Oh! THE HORROR!

Imagine if this woman was about to spawn??? Wouldn't you want to cut out your uterus (or get a vasectomy) to ensure that your child would not have to live in a world with a mini-Kiki.

OH GOD. Apparently she's been really moody on the set of Spiderman 3, eating lots of chocolate, nauseous and wearing baggy clothes (um, that last one's because she has no style).

If she honestly is pregnant, I will consider switching professions to an abortion clinic worker just so I can spend the rest of the next 6-9 months trying to convince her to get rid of that homely squirrel in her womb.

Also, WITH WHOSE baby? Orlando Bloom? The rumours of their relationship have been swirling for a while. And by rumours, I mean first hand accounts of them being seen making out.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. I'm sickened.

She can't even use pregnancy as an excuse for this outfit, because her ugly head isn't pregnant, so there's no excuse for the fedora.

BAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!