Lindsay Lohan Pretends She Is Natural

You know, not to be all sciencey and stuff, because that's not really my racket. Holy hell, who am I today?

Anyhoo, about that sciencey stuff - you guys know that fruits fermented become alcohol, right? Yup, because y'all (hee hee) are smart.

Anyhoo, just because bitch is shopping at Whole Foods and wearing a fisherman's sweater, doesn't make me think she's wholesome and not up to something stupid. Especially wearing shorts with a 3/4" inseam. Ho.

Especially now that news reports are surfacing that Samantha Ronson has a new girlfriend...a pretty, rich, talented and connected one: David Foster's daughter - Erin.

I'm atwitter with anticipation for this one to blow up.

Oh, and also - MOCCASINS? Come on. Those are totally my mother's shoes.