Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Dear John Travolta, Why?

I mean, what else is there to say?


We all know he has no hair, why do this?

PS - if you haven't seen 'Going Clear', the HBO documentary about Scientology, watch it. Loved it.


Monday, April 13, 2015

The 2015 MTV Movie Awards

Sooo, it seems like everyone interesting didn't feel like making the drive from the desert to LA to go to the show. That, or they couldn't get themselves together enough to make it there. I went through the red (pale blue) carpet pics and there was virtually no one I recognized...

So here is who I did recognize. Shh. I know I'm old. Get off my back.

Amber Rose:
That seam is doing unflattering things to her breast. It's making her look triple breasted. This is also too tight. Not a lot too tight, but just too tight enough that it's making things look stretched and lumpy.


Amy Schumer:
By all accounts (for the people who weren't watching VEEP and Game of Thrones) she was really funny. She's been funny but kind of annoying for a while...now she's getting out of the annoying thing and just becoming really funny. I saw her on Ellen (check out a clip here) and she is so funny Ellen can't breathe. It's rare you see Ellen lose it like that.

Oh, and she looks hot. Nice gams.

Anna Camp:
Perpetually the girl who plays the annoying blonde...poor her. Remember when she was on Mindy for the first 4 episodes before they realized her friends were not that funny and they focused on her crazy office mates?

I don't like her eyeliner or this dress. The netting reminds me of bacteria. It's grossing me out now. A lot.

Bella Thorne:
Does anyone else kind of want to punch this girl? I can't place why, but I really can't stand her. I mean, look at this picture of her from Coachella this past weekend. WHO THE HELL WEARS A FLORAL CROWN UNDER THEIR HAIR? And that low? It's like an eyebrow shade. Wearing a floral crown is a conscious decision to sacrifice your hair. Ugh.

Except for the giant appliques on the body of this dress, I actually don't hate it. Even though it has that same bacteria mesh. Oh great. Now I'm dry heaving again.

Brittany Snow:
What's her deal? Oh, thank you IMDB, she's in Pitch Perfect 2. I don't remember her from the first one...but all these blond actresses blend together.

Look how tan her feet are. It's a lot.The color block is good though.

Cara Delevingne:
Well, this is something. I mean, she can pretty much wear anything. And it's not that this isn't nice, but it doesn't feel particularly springy. And what's going on with her hair. Is that a pin curl or something? I dunno. No likey.

Charlie XCX:
Ok. Raincoat as dress.
All I can think of is how sweaty I would be in that.

Ugh. Like a sweaty beach umbrella.

Her hair looks good.

Hailee Steinfeld:
Aww, remember a couple of years ago when she was innocent and you never saw her bra? I guess those days are over.

We can all agree this is a HOT MESS though, right? Yikes.

Those shoes are murdering me. I'm obsessed with gladiator sandals right now, but those are 6 shades of wrong.

Jennifer Lopez:
I cannot say anything wrong about this woman. She is spectacular.
I will ask 2 questions though:

  1. How are her breasts doing that?
  2. Why did they do her make-up like that? 
Otherwise, glorious.


Jessie J.:
Straight from the Dorothy Zbornak Evening Collection at Ross, here is Jessie J.

Bitch, please. Bea Arthur owns that look - yes, even posthumously. Don't even try.

Kelly Osbourne:
I can't. Look at her legs. So orange. And why does she have the same haircut as my husband.

GO HOME. AND STAY THERE.

Can all awards shows now have a sign saying "No Kelly Allowed"?

Rebel Wilson:
She looks AMAHZING. Her hair has never looked better. And somehow she is managing to pull off those low heeled shoes without looking like a grade school teacher. I love this.


Scarlett Johansson:
Despite having this weirdo facial expression, she is KILLING this. She JUST had a baby people. JUST. And look how amazing she looks in this tailored fuchsia jumpsuit. With Easter egg accessories. Amazing.

Shailene Woodley:
Does anyone else really hate this girl? Because I do. She just seems like such a moron, and a granola moron, which makes it worse. And then there is her acting. I was pretty excited to see Divergent, but she is so not engaging as Tris that I don't think I can watch the sequels. Theo James doesn't help things either, because he's a major dud, but ugh. Her.

And this outfit. WTF?!

Willow Shields:
Aww, this gives me memories of when Hailee Steinfeld was still a young girl.

This girl is so beautiful. She hasn't even grown into that yet. And look how elegant and feminine she is already. Stunning. I mean, matronly, but her hair and make-up. Beautiful!

Saturday, April 04, 2015

Lindsay Lohan Lindsay Lohan'd Some Photoshopping....Again


Lindsay Lohan needs to learn how to take pictures of herself in front of plain white walls instead of structures with straight lines...like stairs and tiles. how many times does this bitch need to do this before she learns?

Ugh.