The 2012 Emmys aka 2012 Snoozfest

So I managed to watch 15 minutes of this year's Emmys and fell asleep. (the bottle of wine I drank may have played a part in that) It was dull and there were a couple of themes that I noticed, so here's my review of the good, the bad, and the fugly choices these people made.

Let's start with some great choices:

Allison Williams:

This is Allison Williams from "Girls". How hot is she in this dress? Great color, great fit, killer body and great earrings. Her hair is meh but whatever. She looks amazing.

Kelly Osbourne:

 Those of you who read this blog on a regular basis, know how much this chick rubs me the wrong way. She seems to think she's some kind of fashion guru. I have proven her wrong many a time. That being said, I think she looks great. It's a really good color for her and it's very age appropriate. I don't love the matchy-matchy hair  (Kelly, we've talked about this before) but I'll let it slide cause I think it kind of works this time. Her lipstick is also winning me over.

Leslie Mann:

 My favorite look of the night. Great color blocking. So fresh and fun. Her hair and makeup are beautifully done and the turquoise jewelry really adds something special and pulls the whole thing together. Amazing.


Chartreuse/high lighter green:

Julianne Moore:

Claire Danes:

Julie Bowen:

Julie Bowen killed it. The other two look like....I don't know. But not good. What's with the sleeves on Julianne Moore. Too much material, not enough skin. Claire Danes needs to fire her stylist. That kind of dress only looks good on ladies who have a waist. Pregnant women don't have waists. Derr.  It's obviously a great color when done right. Congrats Julie on your hot dress and your Emmy.

Toothpaste and toothpaste adjacent:

Zooey Deschanel:

 It's ok. A little pale, no? From the neck up, she's gorgeous. It's a lot of material. A lot.

Nicole Kidman:

Again, if you read this blog, you know how much we HATE her. I kinda like this dress though. In a sea of too much material, I'm liking the sleeker style. The bead work is beautiful. It's a little Navajo, but I think it works. Her face though, yikes.

Sofia Vergara:

A little too shiny for me but let's get real, she's effing stunning and has a ridiculous body, sooo...

Heidi Klum:

Love this dress. Hate, hate, hate the matching earring and shoes. HATE. Hair and makeup are great. HATE her shoes. HATE.


Neutrals:

Kristen Wiig:

What's your thing? Stop wearing neutrals! You need color or a tan. Pick one.

Christina Hendricks:

 It's alright. Her skin is sooo pale and her hair and lips are so bright...I kinda dig it. That belt though...too chunky for such an elegant gown.

Why? It looks like a dirty set of curtains.

January Jones:

If this went all the way down in a column, it would be amazing. Her hair is a nightmare.

Edie Falco:

I've been looking at this picture all morning and I can't decide if I like this dress or not. She looks good and I really like her. But...I dunno. It's cut like an Olympic style swim suit. It's a clean look though. I don't know. I'm the Beauty Writer, what do I know?


File all of these under, "The Worst":

Hayden Pannetiere:

I'm sure I've seen this at every Halloween store sold as "Medusa". She's just missing the snakes in her hair.

Elisabeth Moss:

I kid you not, my room mate had two sofas in my first apartment that looked exactly like this dress.We put slip covers on them. Hint...

Ashley Judd:

This is actually a bridesmaid dress right? I'm sure I've been to at least 3 weddings where I saw this shade and cut of vanilla. What is with her hair? Another walking nightmare.

 Lena Dunham:

This is how a hipster dresses up, right? Let me tell you something, like the hipster, this is not a thing! It's not charming or retro. By the way, learn how to stand up straight. Ugh.

Portia De Rossi:

I mean thank goodness she's so lovely to look at and has some talent cause her taste in fashion leaves a lot to be desired. I will say that she's killing it from the neck up though. Great makeup and hair.


Knowing their personal style:

Tina Fey:

Ginnifer Goodwin:

These two ladies weren't stand outs but I congratulate them on knowing what works for them and sticking to their own style. Tina looks the best with her hair swept back. She has a great body but doesn't seem comfortable in color. So she picks these kind of subdued hues and she always looks happy and good in her own skin. Ginnifer takes risks sometimes with color and style but never shows off too much skin. She looks good and I'm still loving the short hair. She could crack a smile every now and then, just saying.

Happy Friday - Starring Jon Hamm & Adam Scott

No, not that kind of happy, perv.

Dina Lohan Was a Hot Mess on Dr Phil

I can't find a download of this ANYWHERE. I'm so sad.

Anyhoo, Vulture did their own version of a recap and it's kind of great.

My favourite is the last part.

How has Lindsay not reacted to this yet? It's fantastic and I really want to hear what she has to say about it. She normally blindly supports her mother, but this doesn't make anyone look good.

 

The Amanda Bynes Saga Continues

Wow. This girl just is not OK.

Sunday morning the cops finally caught Amanda driving on her suspended license (apparently after circling around Burbank airport's valet area and near the entrance to the runways) and impounded her car. Phew! The world is safe again.

Since then Lindsay Lohan has weighed in. Of course:

Now, LL, someone needs to help inform you that you are really delusional and the reason Amanda Bynes isn't in jail is because she hasn't done or been accused of any of the following, which you have:

• Driven coked out of her tree
• Driven coked out of her tree, chasing someone
• Arrested for DUI
• Arrested for jewelry theft
• Been in violation of probation

Get over yourself, twat.

Now, having been around a while and having been blogging long enough to have seen Britney's meltdown, Lindsay's slow unraveling and this happening to Amanda Bynes, I do really believe she needs help and that we're going to see something dramatic happen in short order.

Yesterday, she went to a store in West Hollywood and apparently locked herself in the fitting room for almost 2 hours. Every time a staff member would ask her if she was OK, she would say she needed more time. The staff also reports they heard a banging noise every so often coming from the change room....

Even if she isn't a drug addict, which she claims she isn't; even if she isn't mentally ill, which she claims she isn't and even if she doesn't need a conservator-ship like Britney had, there is something wrong with her. Normal people don't behave like this and this will come to a head soon enough.

I just really hope it's not when I'm on vacation, because that would be annoying.

Amanda in the store yesterday afternoon

Photo source: TMZ

Amanda Bynes - The New And Improved Lindsay Lohan

In the past 2 weeks Amanda Bynes, whose license was suspended on August 25th, was caught driving. 3 times. All 3 times, doing something illegal.

The first time, the COPS pulled her over for her lights not being on...didn't check her license. Had they, they would have realized that it was her and she was driving with a suspended license.

The 2nd time, she was leaving a club and freaked when a photographer started papping her and rear ended someone, then took off.

The most recent time, it seems she went out for a drive, smoked something out of a pipe, ate some tacos, then went and smoked again in a Home Depot parking lot.

Um.

Dear LA Police, please boot this bitch's car.

This morning on TMZ there's an in "depth" (ahem) article about how she's not just a pothead, there's something really wrong with her. (photo from them) People have witnessed her talking to herself, having conversations with inanimate objects and more.

Uh.

That's not pot in that pipe. Can we all agree on that?

Maybe someone's taken up a little crack? Some meth? BATH SALTS!

Yikes.

I might need to try and get on the internet from Jamaica to see this hot mess go down...

Photo source TMZ

If You Grew Up During The 80's - Clear Your Schedule for 7 Minutes

Most of us watched cartoons as kids. Some of the luckier ones had fancy cable TV (not me, 3 stations) and got to see more of these.

My husband loves cartoons. Like, LOVES them. He watches them pretty much every night and they make him ridiculously happy.

The below video made us and several friends REALLY happy last night too. It was like our childhood selves  were wriggling with excitement while we watched this video.

I hope you love it as much as we did.

Dina Lohan - Mother Of the Year on Dr Phil

Let me preface this by saying I think Dr Phil is a jackass. He's not a doctor and he has probably the most annoying voice of anyone on Earth.

BUT, he did interview Dina Lohan and did kind of seem really judgy about her, which is kind of great.

There are some serious gems in this 1-minute preview of this interview which is going to air on Monday. I won't lie. I want to see it.

A couple of things: she seems drunk during the interview or messed on some kind of medication, stopping to ask the crew if they are recording (ahem), making really weird comments and also crying and behaving really weirdly. It seems like it might be great.

Then Michael Lohan is on.

Is it ANY wonder Lindsay Lohan is such a disaster with these two as her parents?

Check out this clip, it's great.

This UK article has a good amount of screen caps and quotes.

Jessica Simpson Sells Weight Watchers From the Neck Up

So, this week Jessica Simpson started her Weight Watchers campaign claiming on TV Monday morning that she's lost more than 40 lbs.

I don't doubt that she's lost a lot of weight and probably feels really great, but it's a very strong indicator that A) Weight Watchers wouldn't let her say exactly how much she's lost and 

B) That her commercial is only from the shoulders up

Both of these things indicate that WW is not happy with Jessica's accomplishments and are a little more than disappointed in their $4 million investment.

I mean, have you EVER seen a weight loss promotional video NOT show someone's body? 

Epic Fail: The Avril Lavigne Edition

Lets start with the positive. She's trying to change her look, which she hasn't done since 2001. Her glasses are hot and although her makeup is a lot, it's a little softer for her. I kinda like it.

Her hair is a mess. A hot mess. The shaved sides are out. I can't believe she didn't notice how ugly all her hipster friends are now trying to grow that out. She's engaged to a much older dude, why would she make herself look like a 15 year old trying to rebel? And are those jewels in her hair? WTF. I can't handle this. Where is my wine glass?

Blake Lively & Ryan Reynolds Got Married

This guy's a bit dumb, right?

Like, did he learn nothing from rushing into marrying Scarlett Johannsen? Yah. That worked out well.

Anyhoo, they got married in a secret ceremony on Sunday in South Carolina.

Ugh, I REALLY want to see her dress. Not cool.

Good Morning, Sponsored By Jon Hamm's Ham Bone

I don't get it. How do you not see this as you're leaving the house? And, isn't this uncomfortable? So many seams rubbing on such gentle pieces of one's anatomy.

I mean, for the love of god, put on some manties!

The 2012 MTV VMA's

Um, can someone tell me if music videos are even still made? I can't remember one since Carly Rae Jepsen's. Is it a valid art form anymore?

Anyway, these people pretended it was. Let's see how much they deserved it.

Alicia Keys

Um, this isn't great. It doesn't really fit, and it's too long, and she's rocking some Angelina leg...and what's with her banana hair?

Beauty Writer: I'm so glad award season is back! I felt like I was losing my edge. That being said, her hair is a train wreck. I wear my hair like that when I'm cleaning my tub, not going to an award show.

Amber Rose
Wasn't she JUST dating Kanye West?
Ugh. Her make-up is the worst.
She does look pretty and happy though.

BW: This chick bugs me. She needs blush or gloss or something. Ew.

Ducksauce
Um, how did I not know that Armand Van Helden (left) was part of Ducksauce? I'm super enchanted by his totally hideous outfit. It's so wrong.

OMG. He is a musical genius.

Emma Watson
Except her hair I'm in love.
The dress is amazing. The shoes are fantastic and she looks so like she's obliged to be there. Um, I love her.

Jersey Shore Crew
At first I thought this was going to be a really short post about how dumb Jersey Shore is and that I'm super happy it's finally been cancelled, but then I saw Vinnie's outfit. Um. WTF?

I would have been ok with it if he hadn't rolled the jeans, but now I can see his ankles. I don't ever need to see his ankles. It's too weird.

Jessica Szohr
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? What brand of meth is this girl on?

No, for real...are those booties?

Oh my god. She looks like Steven Tyler.

BW: hahahahahahahahaha! She really does look like Steven Tyler.

Katy Perry
Aww. I kind of feel bad for the post I wrote about her being a loser. But then I remembered that she's dating the human pubic crab, John Mayer. And also that she is wearing super nasty extensions.

Also, that dress is vaguely tragic. Those straps are awful. I hate that.

Ke$ha
Look, I realize that she's ghetto, but she doesn't employ someone who can hold her purse for her during photo ops? Especially when she looks good like this. And, like, freshly showered.

Or is that part of keeping her dirty? Like, it's supposed to be her purse that looks like road kill? Ugh.

BW: This is terrible. I had shoes like that in 1999. But for her, she looks like a supermodel. Her makeup's pretty ok.

Miley Cyrus
I really want to hate this dress, because of how much I hate her. But the dress is amazing. It's F^%*ING AMAZING.

F*^$. I'm so pissed at myself.

At least she's ruined herself with that ridiculous haircut.

Nicki Minaj
Her facial expression reflects how I feel about this. Though, I will admit that I kind of love it because of how ugly it is. Because it really does take balls to be this fugly. It's like when you try something really trendy and you kind of have to hold your breath before you leave your house.

The hat is a lot though.

BW: I can't take this person anymore. She's a lot. It's too much with the mega contoured facial features and weirdo wigs all the time. Be normal for like 5 minutes.

Pink
I like this for the cut, but other than that I don't like it. Imagine it was this super amazing pink neon Michael Kors gown? Instead it looks like she painted her dress as a millefeuille made with Sally Hansen's magnetic nail polish.

Wow. That was the most niche comment I've ever made.

Rihanna
She has really been douching out lately. And everyone is saying that she was really bitchy, kissing Chris Brown and flirting with him in front of his girlfriend.

Also, what's with her hair?

BW: I think Rihanna looks better with short hair, but not a pixie cut. Those bangs are doing nothing for her five head.

RuPaul
OUT.STANDING.
Love him as a man.

Taylor Swift
Epic fail. Go home.

BW: Epic fail. Go home.

Zoe Saldana
She looks amazing. She always does, but this looks very similar to something else she's already worn. Like, her stylist is getting a little stale. I'm very interested in seeing what she shows up in next because I'm quite certain I've seen her hair like this, her dressed in something like this and wearing shoes like that. Which look really painful. Ugh.