Lindsay Lohan Still Can't Dress or Drive

So, this twit got into another car accident this week. Can you believe?

At what point are the police in LA going to do something about her?

More importantly, at what point is someone going to do something about this outfit?! It's horrific!

Is that a triangle cut top that connects to the pants? I just died a little inside.

Kristen Stewart Cheats on Robert Pattinson, Gets Caught and Apologizes

This is the cover of this week's Us Weekly which hit newsstands today and has photos of Kristen Stewart making out with a married man in her car, in broad daylight.

Wow.

Bitches be DUMMMMMMBBBB.

Now that she's been caught and nailed to the wall only months before the last movie comes out and all the Twilight fans in the world (hopefully) explode with joy and disappear, she has issued an apology:

“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”

Um, didn't love him so much you didn't schnab the married director of SWATH, the worst movie of all time

If this had been discovered even a week after the movie came out, she would have done the same thing she always does, which is scowl and give someone the finger. But nooooo, because everyone needs to believe that Edward and Bella are real, she issues this.

Wowzers.

The 2012 Teen Choice Awards

Or, as some (me) like to call it, LAME!

No, for real, no one was there.

Ok, let's do it.

Demi Lovato:
Take a closer look at that side boob and tell me you don't see areola. Where is this girl's mother? She is a hot mess.

Hayden Panettiere:
Has she ever looked better? The answer is no.
She looks amazingly adorable. I love this color on her. I love that hair length on her. It's like she's the cheerleader from that show that was good for one season, but less baby-fat.

Jojo:
Aww, she's still around? That is not her most flattering look ever.

I kind of want to snuggle her and tuck her into bed and tell her to stop.

Justin Bieber:

Speaking of 'stop'...STOP.

Kristen Stewart:
Is this her hair? Really? Ugh.
She's so blessed and she's so annoying. Like, we get it, you're edgy. Is anyone else mesmerized by the placement of her eyes on her face? They're really down there...

Lea Michele:
She looks so happy. I would too if I looked like that. Look how coiffed, tan, fit and leggy she looks. Amazing.

Nina Dobrev:
This is officially the worst photo I've ever seen of her. She looks a bit sickly, like she's gone a bit too thin. That hairdo is very unflattering on her, the color looks terrible, she looks ill. It's all in all, not good.

Pauly D:
Remember that thing I said before about 'stop'?
Yah. Stop.

Selena Gomez:
She's just so cute. Cutie patootie and pink flippy skirt. Is it true she and Justin are on the rocks?

Taylor Swift:
Sideboob? Is our little girl growing up?
Oh wait, her hair and dress look exactly the same as always...there's just a bit of side boob.

Ugh.

See what I meant about lame?

Andrew Garfield's Hair is Something Else

A wise man once told me, " if you haven't gone too far, you haven't gone far enough". Andrew Garfield, you've gone too far. Come on back to this side of normal.

saram: I think the best part of this photo is Edward (I can't remember his real name, gimme a break)'s face. You can tell he's like, "um, remember when I had the biggest, most-moussed hair? This guy looks like an idiot."

Dark Knight Rises Premiere: 2 Girls and a Creep

I'm very excited for this movie. These are legitimately good movies, not just comic book nerd movies. My husband is planning his entire 35th birthday around the IMAX version of this movie, as he did his 30th when the first one came out.

So the premiere was this week. Lots of other people were there, but I wanted to concentrate on the 3 best...or worst. However you see it.

Shall we?

Anne Hathaway:

Look, I know the hair is because of Les Mis, but it's really bad. And she's WAY too thin. It's icky. Like, I'm pretty sure when she was cast as Catwoman they did not expect her to show up at a premiere looking like a boy in a gown. Right? Right.

Ew. 

Plus, this weight makes her mouth look MASSIVE. It's gross. I hate it.

Marion Cotillard:
Then there is beauty and perfection. Ok, fine, she looks like a figure skater and her eye make-up is terrible here, but look how pretty she is! And look how she doesn't look like a deformed boy puppet in a curtain. Beautiful.

And then there is the horror that is Cillian Murphy.

Like really? This is your face? Go away now. The past bit has been great without you. Lets keep it that way.

Skanking Out For Hot, Smart Men - Ian Somerhalder

I have a weakness for an old fashioned guy. I think I fell for my husband on our first date, when he was polite, had good table manners, was chivalrous and was able to carry on intelligent conversation and showed that he was more than just a great body and pretty bone structure. Basically, an actual gentleman, not some douche who wears sunglasses at night, sculpts designs into his facial hair and waxes his arms.

Those whole package gentlemen are few and far between, but we all know one of them. Ketel One vodka (yum! yum! yum!) is holding a contest right now which will help the gentlemen of society stand out and take their rightful place as leaders...and then maybe we can stop paying the cast of Jersey Shore $50,000 an episode, because really...gross!

So the contest is basically this: Tell your preferred gentleman to share one of his great ideas. It could be philanthropic, entrepreneurial or simply about crafting something great. Ketel One is offering $100,000 for the best idea, to help get it off the ground!

Ian Somerhalder (like my buddy Peter Dinklage) is one of those gentlemen. Using the fame he's garnered from being on TV, he started an animal rights group, IS Foundation.

And everyone has a friend who has gown a creepy mustache over the past 2 years, right? That's another one of those great ideas. Adam Garone was the type of guy who just wanted a little more awareness to men's health issues and came up with the idea for 'Movember'.

Check out their Facebook page for a better idea of some recent submissions. We've all had that night, where we're sitting around and one of us comes up with an amazing idea. Share it.

Come on, it's $100,000, it's worth it, no?

AGentlemansCall.com

I Am The Worst: Episode 4,389,723

I actually want this. God, I'm dumb.

No, but seriously, what is wrong with me?

Also, this is hilarious. It's OUT OF STOCK, so you can pre-order it here. We're ALL dumb. It's official.

Thank you CS for this.

Beautiful Alert: Diane Kruger, Joshua Jackson, Victoria & David Beckham & Posh's Dress

It's really nice when people aren't gross. SO many people are gross lately. 

Let's look at pretty people:

Diane Kruger & Joshua Jackson:
I mean, come on! I kind of hate his deep v-neck tee from American apparel and sloppy hair, but she looks so amazing that it totally cancels out his mild douche. So hot.

Victoria & David Beckham:

Speaking of hot, how amazing is this dress? Jesus. It's not normal. 

Of course, you can't weigh any more than she does to look good in this, but holy hell. I'm obsessed. I need it. 

Can someone please buy this for me?

Justin Bieber is a Marketing Genius

This guy has a great team working for him.....I mean GRRRREEEAT! Girlfriend is the follow up to his first fragrance Someday, that was launched last year. May I just remind you that these are both women's perfumes. This guy is an effing genius. While David Beckham and P. Diddy try to sell to other dudes, this guy is selling his scent to the demographic that runs the world; teenage girls. Bravo, Biebs.....bravo.

Blake Lively in a Bikini Looks Less Like I Thought it Would

Look, I don't want to be that girl, but didn't you think this was going to be better?

Weird.

Lindsay Lohan Looks So F-ing Scary

Bitch, those eyebrows were not meant for you!

While I am ecstatic she is a red head again, she should consider wearing WAY less foundation and should pull a full STOP on those brows. Elizabeth Taylor is dead. The filming of your trainwreck of a TV movie is over, put them away!

Eeek!

Jessica Alba Looks Crazy Amazing

Cramazing? No. Stupid.

Um, this dress is bloody incredible. She looks SO good in it. I need it. Of course it's Versace so that's not going to happen.

One thing that can happen to me is the bow-kneed look of the guy behind her left elbow.

Ugh, she's so gorge. Too bad she has no talent except hotness.