Amy Adams Is Lois Lane, And I LOVE It

I don't know if I'm alone in this, because I'm pretty isolated from the outside world on this business trip, but I LOVE this choice. The first thing I thought was that she is plucky, and will be perfect.

Yah, I said 'plucky'.

I honestly think she'll be a great Lois. She looks younger than her 36 years and Clark is a superhero, so I think it's ok that he'll be a little more fresh faced than she is.

I like it.

Plucky.

Dot com.

Wow, Kingston Rossdale Is a PIMP!

Maybe literally...I'm a bit nervous. For real, why is this kid dressed like this? It's pretty hilarious though. I wish I had a fur vest like that. Mine is so embarrassingly short compared to that one.

Zooey Deschanel Photoshopped Beyond Recognition

Uhhhh. Really? Really Rimmel?

On the left is a photo of the super adorbs, gorge Zooey Deschanel. On the right is a lipgloss ad for Rimmel cosmetics.

Same person? Supposedly.

I understand that they want to feature the lip gloss to the best of their abilities, but I think this illustrates the point that you should always get someone outside the process to take a look at things. I'm sure everyone at Rimmel was looking at the background and her lip color. Not paying attention at all to the fact that her face is almost unrecognizable.

Why pay someone to endorse if you're going to change her nose, lengthen her face, reposition her facial features, etc?

Photoshop is evil sometimes. But really good if you have a pimple.

JWoww Looks Hot With Bangs

Last night was the season finale of Jersey Shore. Don't tell me! I'm watching it later.

Anyhoo, JWoww got bangs. She looks pretty darn good with them. I don't know if she's doing things to her face, but she's been looking prettier and prettier lately.

Or I need vision care.

Opinions?

Plenty Of Bad Outfits: JLo, Fergie, Full House

Jodi Sweetin:

She has at least one child. Mothers should not dress like small town hookers. And there's just so much wrong going on here. It starts with her hair, it's just so bad. Then that weird lace cover-up. Ohhhh, and the necklace placed over that neckline. Come on. COME ON.

I'm sickened.

One Of The Olsen Twins:

Seriously, I never have any idea which is which. Look, they made their $ that way, they can live with my confusion. I mean, could one of them dye their hair or something!?!

Anyway, I don't know what the f%#& one of them is wearing here, but OH MY GOD. At no point is this acceptable. Gahhhh, I'm dizzy from the ugliness.

Fergie:

Speaking of dizzy. These pants! OMG. You have to be a very confident to wear these. Maybe too confident. Or a circus ring master. My god. And she is fit as hell, but she's curvy. This is a ballsy move.

JLo:

Oh my god. What IS this? I read a story that on this particular trip she was incredibly demanding and freaked out on the hotel staff to get her 6 full garment racks to her room faster, etc. Then she wore 2 outfits. And one of them was THIS!

This whole page makes me feel as if people have head injuries. They're not just mildly bad choices, they're brain damage choices. Jesus.

The Kardashians And Jungle Mammals

So I see this photo while surfing the web and I'm thinking, "please eat them, please eat them, please eat them, please eat them, please eat them."

I really hope he ate them.

But wishes don't come true. Do they?

OMG Uma Thurman Looks HOT

Some of the women in Hollywood should hold a plastic surgery/maintenance Tupperware-style party.

THIS is how you age gracefully and keep your shit tight.

Plastic faces - pay attention.

Elizabeth Taylor Passed Away, RIP

One of the most fabulous women ever has died this morning, of congestive heart failure.

Hollywood has lost yet another legend.

~~

If you haven't read Furious Love, read it now in tribute to her.

It is by far one of the best celebrity biographies I have ever read. Touching, exciting and amazing.

Chris Brown Is a DOUCHE

Someone better arrest this guy because he is clearly a psychopath. Who is he going to take it out on next?

Like, really? He's rehabilitated? He stormed out of the studio after breaking a window with a chair. Shirtless.

Um.

Kate Winslet Looks HAWT.

I love that she's like 'back off haters, I'm f-ing fabulous'. OMG. She is PULLING that off. And that is a nude polka-dotted panel. That is not easy.

Below is another picture of her and Evan Rachel Wood (whom I thought was Nicole Kidman in all the thumbnails). DAYUM.

She is owning it with that eyebrow arch.

Chris Brown is a Violent Douche

He went on GMA this morning and got mad at what GMA is saying were pre-approved questions...then stormed off stage and broke a window in his dressing room.

Yah. SURE you're rehabbed.

SURE you deserve to be forgiven for what you did to that poor girl.

YOU HAVE NO SHAME.

YOU SHOW NO REMORSE.

He deserves to be punished for what he did and he thinks he's above the law and above consequences.

Not cool.

On a positive note, GMA is calling the police on him.

Karma is a bitch.

Someone Let The Situation Touch Their Baby

Bad move mommy. BAD MOVE.

Snooki In a Monokini

Is there a term I hate more than 'monokini'? Probably, but I can't think of it right now. At the moment that is the most vexing word I have ever thought of. Ugh.

Anyhoo, here is Snooki on vacation in Hawaii. Yah, because she works SO hard that she should be on vacation. Ugh. So annoying.

Anyhoo, here is Snooki wearing a much too skimpy monokini while sunning herself in what appears to be shade. Ew.

It's not good.

Lindsay Lohan Might Go To Jail This Week

According to 'sources' close to Lindsay she's starting to warm to the idea of hitting jail for 19 days (20% of 3 months).

She went to New York to spend time with her family and figure out what she wants to do about this case and has been partying, making out with random dudes and generally being a twat.

I guess someone slapped some sense into her, because she's finally starting to realize that she risks going to jail for a year if she goes to trial. Trial could mean facing the charges for everything that happened during her probation...the plea the judge offered her is starting to look good.

We'll find out later this week what she'll wear and also what she'll do.

Maybe she can get chin fixed while she's in there....

Pharrell Looks AWEsome

I don't know why, but I really can't stop laughing at this picture.

His face is SO serious and yet he's wearing that coat.

Also, is he doing the Vulcan symbol with his hand?

TV is Going To Ruin Wonder Woman

Every single thing I've heard about this new Wonder Woman TV show has sounded terrible...the story, the actress...THIS OUTFIT.

WTF IS THIS?

This looks like one of those 'sexy' superhero costumes they have for people who want to get comic book horny.

This is gross. The pants are AWFUL.

Oh my god. For shame!

Break-up alert: Bradley Cooper & Renee Zellwegger

A source told People magazine that RZ and BC have broken up!

Yay!!!!

This couple NEVER made sense to me. Ever.

This better be true. I want to pretend that he's pursuing me.

Um, Jumpsuit/Romper Retirement Time

I love jumpsuits. The 70's and I are BFFs.

But we might have to break up now.

Old Navy has jumpsuits this season.

To me, this makes it time to let the jumpsuit go. I can't guarantee I will, because me and the 70's are so tight...but this is not a good sign.

OMG. I really don't want to see middle aged Old Navy shoppers rocking cameltoe in this thing.

I might barf a little.

I'm Tired of The Black Eyed Peas

I loved the Black Eyed Peas pre-Fergie. I LOVED them.

I am really into hating them now. And it's not Taboo or Apl de Ap's fault. It's Fergie and Will.I.Am. They might be the 2 most annoying people on the planet. They are clearly so in love with themselves and maybe even each other.

If you can stomach it, watch the video below. There's enough autotune to make my armpit a hit singer. Fergie's over-singing and odd pronounciation ("enowf" instead of enough) makes me want to jam fireworks into my ears.

Ugh.

And can we please discuss her face? Thanks to the Lady for pointing it out, it's highly gross. Like she just got 6 liters of fillers jammed into it or something. She looks really round and puffy, no?

Also, that lipstick makes me want to die a little.

Dear Katie Holmes, Please Stop.

Bitch, you best wipe that confident-ass look off your face because you are wearing that.

You know how they always say a woman is at her most sexy when she is confident? Um, this bitch is misguided...she needs to slap on some concealer, some mascara and remove those pants, stat.

I have nothing against leather pants, I think many people have looked hot in them recently. But those ones? From 1997?

That is a smug face. An undeservingly smug face. I hope Suri slaps her in the face with one of those penis gummies. Ha ha, just pictured that. Fabulous.

Alec Baldwin Is Bitchy Lately

He's on a tear lately:

Too Bad for Emmanuelle Chriqui...

So I'm reading this other blog, and apparently people started telling the writer that JWoww really strongly resembles Emmanuelle Chriqui...

It's true. And a little freaky.

EC has a much better body, and is much softer and prettier, but it's weird now that it's been pointed out.

Penis Gummies and Scientology

You'd think, with all the jokes people make about Tom Cruise and John Travolta being closeted gay men, that Scientologists would make an effort to avoid having their children photographed with penis gummy candies...

Look, I am neither a parent NOR a Scientologist, but this doesn't seem right.

I get it, it's candy, but do we need children to have that exact candy? There weren't any bloody gummy bears around?

Oh yah, John Travolta. Badum ching! Please. He's so a bottom.

Ke$ha In A Bikini

For real, I tried on my bikini less than an hour ago and almost jumped off a bridge. Then I drank a little bit of wine and saw these pictures and felt better.

I really don't like what the bottoms are doing to her. Too much lattice, too high in the waist, too skimpy on top. It's not balancing well at all. She would look much better in something one piece, higher cut on the legs (to show her nice slim legs) and a deep v down the middle.

Seriously though, she just made me feel way better about how I look in a bikini. I need to keep a print of this in my wallet.

Vanessa Hudgens Is A Little Slut

She was UNDERAGE.

More nudie pics emerged yesterday. They were very nude. Funny that they came out just when Zac Efron is getting press for being "single and sexy" and when she has a movie coming out...I'm just saying!

Anyhoo, I won't link to them because she was underage and that's gross. But I am now frightened to procreate because girls are sluts now and I don't want one of those!

Oh, and she also wore this outfit, which I find to be more offensive and newsworthy than her being a slut and flashing her cooch for Zac Efron.

But seriously people. STOP DOING THAT.

Also, whoever manufactured these shorts, STOP DOING THAT.

Stifler Is Going To Rehab

Um, who cares?

I guess I do, because I'm posting about it.

Like, really, I don't post for 2 days and then I come up with this? Lame. No really, it's all for the statement. It's one of the best I've ever read.

Ha ha. Ok, really, here's the statement from his rep:

"Seann William Scott has voluntarily admitted himself for proactive treatment to address health and personal issues. He appreciates the support of his many fans at this time."

I find this statement very funny. I will highlight some of the funnier parts:

• proactive
• health and personal issues
• many fans

Ok, let's be honest. We've seen this guy. Clearly his problem is coke. Don't tell me it's health and personal issues (though DListed made me guffaw this morning when I read "Maybe he's realized that he's addicted to first names?"). Also, doesn't it make you sad that his rep felt a need to specify 'many'? That makes it seems so forced...

Pink Panther Makes Me Laugh

Please, if you haven't watched The Pink Panther series of movies with Peter Sellers, do so.

I can barely breathe I laugh so hard during these scenes.

Enjoy.

Kate Bosworth is Too Thin / Looks Bad

I HATE her outfit. So much.

I love army jackets, but I don't like this one. It's awkward, and it looks to heavy and the arms are a little short.

Also, her hair is super gross, and her legs are too skinny. And what has she done lately? Isn't she supposed to be an actress?

I wish that lace dress had been given more respect and allowed to do what it could on it's own.

Blurg.

Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel Broke Up. DUH.

No seriously, in other news, the Earth is round.

Justin has been stepping out on this girl FOREVER. He only now just stopped wanting to pretend he wasn't.

At least we're no longer going to be subjected to awkward photos like this one.

Keep These People In Your Thoughts Today

The Situation Is Creepy. Confirmed.

My fabulous friend Banana, who wrote this fabulous post, lives and works in NYC and someone who works for her had an encounter with the Situation. One condition of our friendship is I get to post these things on the blog. Another condition of our friendship is that I explain that Banana is the best boss in the whole world.

She was in Atlantic City two weeks ago and so was he. She ended up partying with him until the wee hours of the morning. Initial impressions:

• Short and unattractive in person
• Small hands and feet (we know what that means, right ladies?)
• Walked like a dinosaur with small hands (T-Rex anyone?)
• Was partying with his brother and sister and various "other orange friends"
• They called him Mike, not 'The Situation'
• He didn't drink

They went to his hotel room, where they ate from a buffet put out of room service, and even watched a few minutes of 'Black Swan'...I didn't take him for a ballet movie watcher...They partied until 6am until he offered them pajamas. Anyone knows that when he offers girls pajamas he's trying to smush. That was their cue to leave...but not before they took a party favor...one of his snazzy rosaries.

Best of all, she has a picture.

He DOES look like a T-Rex. And ugly.

Britney in Out Magazine

So Britney is in the most recent issue of Out magazine. I love that she's a gay icon. She's no Liza Minelli, but she's still fab.

These pictures make me uncomfortable though...

Let's review.

I feel like I'm far too close to seeing vag here. Also, I'm uncomfortable with the amount of ass I'm seeing on the lower cheek. It's a lot. Also, god forbid she get some kind of shiver and that heel goes inside...

Um, this bodysuit is not flattering. And those tattoos are icky. They make me think of cheesy cocktail waitresses at strip clubs. Her hair looks good though. But oh my. This is very thigh tastic. She's brave though, I wouldn't have the guts to put this outfit on.

This, to me, looks like she's not comfortable with her body, which is surprising because she's in various states of undress in all the photos. But she is clearly not happy with some combination of her stomach/backfat/upper leg.

I don't know. I'm not a fan of this shoot.

Anyone?

Ok, Maybe NOW Charlie Sheen is Mocking Us

This video is the first time I've ever sensed that there was a sane person beneath the surface of all that mania.

Is this all a game on us?

Charlie Sheen's Winning Recipes from Charlie Sheen

Or is Charlie Sheen really crazy? Because him starting a $100 million dollar lawsuit doesn't sound super sane.

Charlie Sheen Going Over The Edge

Um.

Ok officials, time to step in. Things are getting super weird.

For real though. He's not looking so stable waving a large weapon off the roof of a building.

Rumor has it that Rob Lowe is in talks to replace Charlie Sheen on Two And a Half Men.

I attempted to watch an episode of that show last night, in the spirit of what's going on, and it was SO awful that I couldn't get past the first few minutes.

He said 'pubes' in the first few minutes. PUBES! Ew.

Also, um. Please look at Charlie in his UStream videos.

These are not photos of a man who looked bad in the interviews last week because of "bad lighting." This is a broken, mentally ill man who needs help.

If you want to weird yourself out, feel free to watch any of the 3 episodes of Sheen's Korner available.

http://www.ustream.tv/charliesheen

Tom Brady vs Kimmy Gibler

Tom Brady REALLY needs to cut his hair. It's bad.

He's at Carnival in Brazil with Gisele and he has that gross bend of hair that goes behind the ear and then wants to go back toward the face. It's awful.

Also, he can't dance. How embarrassing.

But for real though, best call ever comparing him to Kimmy Gibler.

Ahhh, Full House. Is it still terrible today?

Heather Locklear Did Stuff To Her Face

Heather Locklear has been out of the limelight for a while. She went through a bad period where she got pulled over and was high out of her tree, or drunk, can't remember.

Either way, I think she went to rehab and it looks like her rehab offers touch up's too, because someone's face looks really fresh.

She looks WAY too young to be that old.

Not saying she doesn't look good, but this is not believable. I wish people would be more honest about the plastic surgery they get done, it would be so much more fun.

Kanye and Liv Tyler Have the Same Shirt

And wore it the SAME night. How embarrassing. Rachel Zoe dresses Liv Tyler, she must be fuming. Maybe pregnancy is getting to her, because she doesn't normally foul up like this, or get anything that has a double.

Either way, sorry Kanye, but Liv is rocking it way better.

Though why anyone who doesn't have a gun rack on the back of their pick-up truck or make moonshine would wear this blows my mind.

Charlie Sheen Got Fired

Yesterday, Charlie Sheen got fired. Some called it shocking. I think they must have been in a coma for the past 2 weeks.

Anyhoo, he's fired, planning to sue and apparently climbed to the top of a building shortly after (with a machete) to yell, "free at last! Free at last!"

Um.

Oh, and he's also doing a Conan-esque cross-country tour later this year which he says will be "theatrical."

I'm scared. Also, this has become boring now.