Sunday, February 28, 2010

I love that Doritos could be called 'Ginger Heat'

I really don't think Ginger's get enough respect.

Why NOT name a chip after them?




http://www.doritosviralocity.ca/Gallery/VideoDetails.aspx?v=58520

Really Douchey: Pete Wentz & John Mayer

Ugh, John Mayer. Double Ugh to Pete Wentz. This picture is so douchey because of the double douche dose. Ahhh, ha. I love alliteration.

John Mayer has really managed to make an ass of himself lately...with his constant, incurable verbal diarrhea and then his Rolling Stone interview capping it all off...ugh. The guy needs to shut up...he says dumb stuff and makes himself look really bad.

Above, with the wispy hair, the cheekbones and pursed lips he totally looks like he's trying out for the remake of Edward Scissorhands, no?

Emily Blunt's Fugly dress

The Oscars are next week. As you all know, that is THE awards show of the season. I will hopefully be up-to-date and blogging, but you never know...It is my aim to be as current as possible...

Anyhoo, this week is one of the last prequels to next week's fashion parade...and Emily Blunt (who I adore) wore this:



I hate this. The print is really unflattering because it makes her thighs look fat and the back is too complicated and makes her calves look beefy. Which they are not. Ugh.

She better improve for next week.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Chuck Liddel Works Out Naked

Look, this video really made me sad.

I hate naked people in shoes.











Apparently Chuck and the blonde (who people are calling his girlfriend, but I'm pretty sure he's engaged to another hot blonde) were in on the whole thing.

Ugh, naked people in shoes. Also, ugh that the good part is blurred out.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Pamela Anderson clings to her youth...still

I'm pretty sure if I was Pamela Anderson I would have trouble admitting to ageing too....I mean, for years she was the hottest thing ever....And now, she looks really scary.

I mean, obviously, that make-up is really awful. But she's also kind of...um...shouldn't be...um...She's someone's mother!! Imagine you were a tween and your mother is always prancing around in sequin bikinis with her nips hanging out?

Ugh. So much like my youth. Hee hee.

The Olympics are Amusing: Ice Skating edition


I have decided (obviously quite late in the game) that I should be watching more Olympics and less of the inside of my eyelids (they're very engrossing)...for instance, I seem to be missing awesome outfits and performances such as these...

Sinead and John Kerr are a brother and sister team, who apparently like to mix it up. That is some pair of jeans, sir. Also, that pose/position makes me feel weird. It's like opposite day and I'm really scared he's going to fall.

These two below are, well, scary. Let's be frank. If I saw someone with unbelievable cankles like that man looks like he has, I would call an ambulance. Seriously...who thought of those outfits?!

Jersey Shore Update: Ronnie & Sammi have definitely split


One of the most reliable gossips out there, Janet Charlton has posted a story about Ronnie and Sammi causing problems on the PR circuit.
Since they broke up on the reunion special they apparently can't stand to be seen together and are making it hard for PR people to manage special appearances...because they don't want to be in the same room as one another.
Personally, I'm happy. Sammi is SUCH a douchette (no, not guidette) and was such an entitled little brat that I'm glad she doesn't have Ronnie kissing her ass anymore.
God I can't wait for the 2nd season. The Situation is going to be ALL OVER that.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Another misguided soul at Fashion Week: AnnaLyne McCord


I don't really know this girl except to say that she's on 90210 and she's often said to be displaying 'drunk face' and also called too skinny.

I agree on both those points and also on the fact that she is apparently a space hooker. But, one who is on their way to put their hooking cash into a savings bond at the bank or something.

So, to sum up: space hooker on her way to the bank to put away some of her BJ money.

Let's just praise Johnny Weir (my new god) that she's putting all that $ up her nose. You know how space hookers can be.

And no, to answer your very valid question, I am not high while I write this. I'm just weird.

Obscure 90's Personality of the day


Sometimes I write 'of the day' in the title, in hopes that it will be a new thing, and then I never do it again. I'm pretty sure this one could live, because we all vaguely remember the 90's and have memories attached to it.

For me it was being in puberty (the worst), high school (death) and the years of flourescents colors, being in musicals and the school band, wow. I was a nerd. Anyhoo...I also liked figure skating back then. Not because I liked it, but because my friends liked it and that was what high school was about.

I have now come to terms with my identity and don't copy what other people like and officially hate musicals and figure skating. Except the clothes.

Speaking of figure skating and clothes (that was a long trip to get to a nothing point...woah), here is Oksana Baiul at a fashion show earlier this week in New York (seriously, who invited her to fashion week?) wearing what looks to be a vegetable-dyed gauze dress over a pair of panties from the 90's (when in Rome...) and yes, that's right, white knee-high nylons.

OH MY GOD.

On the other hand, everything above her neck looks pretty good.

That's some seriously askew Nancy O'Dell pose though. Damn.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Skinny Jeans on Men = Weirds me out


Apparently there is some band called the 'Jonas Brothers' (kidding, of course) who are popular with the young ladies.

Here are some photos of them wearing their regular poser outfits and 'playing football' - The Manning brothers are probably giggling their egg heads off right now.

Kudos and all for participating in outdoor activities and not sitting inside like the rest of all people alive, but at the same time, their outfit choices lead me to ask questions, such as:
  1. Did you really think those skinny jeans were flattering?
  2. Why do some men have 'mothering' hips? Do they also have uteruses/uteri?
  3. Is it weird that men with pear-shaped bodies really gross me out?
  4. Why does the below one look pregnant?

As you all know (or don't, WELCOME NEW PERSON!), I am highly critical of people wearing things they shouldn't, or do not look good in. Fine, not everyone knows, but there is no way this 4-month pregnant man above didn't second guess his outfit. COME ON. Doesn't he have friends?

Gahh.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Heidi Montag's new face...is creepy.


Sometimes people are cute, and they don't get it. Like our friend Heidi Montag, here. Well, let's be honest, we wouldn't invite her to any gatherings because she's a tard, but otherwise, let's try to be nice.

Ok, after typing that, looking left, then commencing typing again, I have decided that we should not try to be nice, because Heidi Montag is the scum of society and is exactly what is wrong with the planet.

This girl recently got 10 surgeries to perfect herself...this is after having already had ~5 very recently. Her boobs are now a double F, her face is deranged (take a look) and she is not done.

I wanted to feel sorry for her, because her face really looks bad, but I don't. I bet that's not what she wanted her nose to look like and I bet she's going to go back to the surgeon's table because of this picture.

Idiot.
Moron.
Stupid f-ing dumbass.

She was so cute before, and now she looks like every generic porn star, too-tan, giant-boobed twat in LA.

Katie Holmes Really Can't Dress Herself


You know, for someone who is walking around with what we regular-sized people would call a model's body, she really, REALLY can't dress it.

Seriously, I think she's 5'10" maybe even taller and slim and although she could most likely pull off anything, she still manages to look like a total tool almost all the time.

Like, really, who thought that coat was going to look good? And she is supposed to be in charge of a fashion line?!?! That insults me as someone with VISION.

That coat needs to be a full foot shorter and quite a bit less full to not make her look like she's, in fact, the BFG and on her knees.

I mean, theoretically, it would make sense if those were just her knees at the floor...then the proportions would at least make a little more sense.

Ugh, I'm sickened. No one with that much money or EYES should dress like that.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Jenna Jameson looks disturbing


If it was your boyfriend's birthday, is this really the outfit and hairdo that you would choose?

Like, really?

A fashion-forward (aka FUGLY) Missoni jumpsuit and knotted Leia buns on the top of your head?

What is happening to society?

The Superbowl gets a visit from Playboy Bunnies...

I don't know what's up with Hugh Hefner, but there is something wrong with the selection process at Playboy lately. I mean, some of the centrefolds showed up at the Superbowl on
Sunday and you're going to have to see this to believe it...it's freaking me out.


First of all...body paint? Ugh. So cheesy. I think they pull it off in Sports Illustrated A) because they try harder than this (the middle one is rubbing off) and B) because the girls are way hotter. Ok, from left to right, let's take a closer look:
  • Tall Brunette: Um, this is guy right? Wearing an Annette Funicello wig from the original Mickey Mouse club. Scary. And not really in shape, which kind of bugs me.
  • Tiny Blonde: This girl is walking plastic surgery bomb that just went off and looks exactly like every other twit in LA
  • Super Tan Thing in the Middle: This is a dude, right? At first I asked myself if it was the tranny version of Mrs Ari Gold from 'Entourage' and then I got frightened because of my lengthened exposure, so I had to stop. Gross.
  • Alien Hair Red Head: This girl is very cute, but that hair is seriously retarded and could we get some faux tan for her? Also, super shite paint job on her top, it's getting all worn off under her boob.
  • Super Skinny Far Right: So skinny in the abdomen. Like, gross skinny. And her face is HARSH. Like, mannish harsh. Like her friend in the middle.
Yuck. Is it just me or is this some kind of ghetto group. Playboy, up the ante!

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Daily Yeesh: Madonna and her face are a little out of control


Can someone clarify for me if Madonna is open about her plastic surgery?

I'm pretty sure that Dr Brandt is open about being her doctor...I would stop if I were him though (actually, if you take a look at him, he's a freak show, so clearly his judgment is poor) because while she definitely doesn't look her age, she looks freaky.

I mean, look how plump her face is. It's freaking me out.

Actually so is the picture of Dr Brandt at the botttom of his home page. Yeesh.

Remind me when I want to get my nose job not to go to a male doctor who is prettier than me.

Rihanna dresses oddly, I'm just saying.


Really? This is what you're wearing? Come on.

I get it! You're fashionalble, you push the proverbial envelope, but seriously, this? It's just impractical. I am not even sure it is healthy...I mean, think of the ramifications to your body...not sure whether it's warm or cold...

Oh, and did I mention it's super ugly?

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Grammy's 2010 - Part 2

When attempting to be quick with your post-awards show posts, you do miss a few people here and there. However, you do remain proud of yourself for posting as quickly as you did.

Why am I talking like this?

Anyhoo, here are some people I missed in my original post:


Ashanti:
While I do totally hate most of this dress, I think it's more important that we insult her weird dog-bowl hair. WTF is that?! Or is it more like a Cinnabon in a not-as-awesome-as-Princess-Leia kind of way.

The dress is awful, sort of. I actually think it could have been ok but there is a little too much of it. you know? As in the bottom. Which looks like a really cheap 100% polyester lining that you would find as, say, a costume in a Halloween shoppe. 2 p's and an e. That's right.

Anyhoo, could have been much better as just a little mini dress...without the weird straps.


Celine Dion:
Sometimes life makes sense. Sometimes I leave my house at the ungodly hour of 6:45am and there is no traffic, because, really - why should there be? Then other times nothing makes sense and I actually like Celine Dion's clothing. Save for the sleeves.

That dress is kind of awesome. Take of the sleeves and I love it. Mind you, now upon 2nd look, it frightens me that it seems to be making her look kind of chubbo in the midriff when she is one of the world's most emaciated people. Maybe I'm going to take it back. I'll think about it.

I will say this - if you're going to wear shiny sandals - kindly remove the ace bandages from your feet before. Ick. That band is grosso.

What do you think?




Ciara:
Embarrassingly, I had lace pants in high school. They were not exactly like this, they were more floral lace and there was less skin showing, but they were equally as hideous. Mind you, I didn't wear dominatrix gear on top (I was lucky enough that my father let me out of the house as it was, I don't think he would have liked the top).

I hate this outfit, It is trying too hard for me. She's a pretty lady with a great tuck game...I don't know why she wore this, it's awful.


Malin Ackerman:
Um. Really? First of all, if that is your head/face Julia-Stiles-2, don't wear your hair slicked back. You look like someone has drawn a face on an egg. Seriously.

Secondly, you look like a cheap bus station hooker in that dress and those boots.

I think there is something really important to understand about over-the-knee boots. You cannot wear sexy clothes with them. Or you look like a hooker. Prime example above. Seriously. You need to wear a pretty flowy dress, or a boyish look.

RULE FOR OVER-THE-KNEE BOOTS: Do not wear anything sexy or really, you look like you're giving BJ's for McNuggets.


Sheryl Crow:
Look, I am aware I am a big fan of 70's fashion and that there is something fundamentally wrong with that...but I will admit to you - I LOVE THIS DRESS.

Some people really did not like it, but I think it is fantastically 70's and wonderful and it makes me want to have a house party where we drink themed cocktails, listen to disco, do designer drugs and have feathered hair.

Don't you want to come to that party?!?!

Ok, I am going to go lie down. I think I'm losing my mind.

Amanda Seyfried's boobs

I barely know who this girl is but now I know what her boobs look like. Isn't it weird how that happens?

I love this dress...if it was a little less low-cut...for me. For her, it works. She's an actress, at a premiere, she can get away with things like this.

Why are her eyes so big?

Maybe someone just told her that Channing Tatum is in a romantic movie. Um, this guy seems dumb as a wall...I don't think I can believe him as a love interest after watching 'Fighting'. Yeesh.