Flight Of the Conchords (yes, again)

Just pushing my favorite guys. Got to love them.

Imagine being near this bitch storm?

Oy. Imagine how bitchy these two must be? Leah Remini really bugs me just by being alive (watch a few episodes of 'King Of Queens', you'll see what I mean), plus she's a scientologist, so she's probably crazy.

And we all know JLo is a mad diva...look at that purse! That is not the purse of a real life woman. That is the purse of a woman who has people to carry things for her. Imagine trying to carry that around all day? You'd be in traction by lunch.

Ugh. They scare me. They look like such bitches.

Love that dress! The Kristen Stewart (Twilight) Edition

OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS DRESS. Except for the weird nude strap things, but still. How stunning is the bottom?

I'm currently (embarrassed to admit that I'm) reading 'New Moon', the 2nd book in the 'Twilight' series. I am not flying through it the same way I flew through 'Twilight'. The first one was disposable and fun. This one is slow and slightly irritating. Still, I can't stop now.

Either way. I love that dress. So hot.

Michelle Pfeiffer - not normal

I know I've said it before, but more women should go see Michelle Pfeiffer's plastic surgeon. I'm not saying that she necessarily has had plastic surgery, but I have trouble explaining her looking this good without it.

She looks awesome.

Not normal.

A Classy Affair - The Dog the Bounty Hunter family wedding

One of 'Dog's' daughters got married recently and here is the family at the wedding.

HOW CAN THAT MAN WALK AROUND WITH THAT HAIR?

They're so classy.

Do you get the feeling they doused the bride and groom with beer after the ceremony?

Ugh. Grossness.

Chloe Sevigny Grinds My Gears!

Ew.

Love those shoes, they make me want to sell my first born to get them, but the rest?

Ew.

She can't do her hair? That blouse is horrid and those shorts/skort?! Ahh. I hate that she's called an IT girl and a fashion icon. I hate her.

Lindsay Lohan - Skin, bones and boobs

Ok, it's enough. Not only does she look wicked coked out here, but she looks like her legs are going to break under the weight of her huge cans.

You have to see the video - only coked people are this spazzy, distracted, fidgety and that thin with huge boobs!



SOMEONE HELP HER.

People get dressed up...again.

To be honest, I think I'm getting annoyed with all the events. It's enough already. Get over yourselves. You don't need to celebrate for 2 months straight, you're not that great. But if they didn't, I wouldn't have anything to blab about, so by all means, I'll blab:


Lucy Liu:
I happen to think her dress is kind of stupid, I mean, not the basic white part, but the weird cotton ball cape she has on. You know you made one of those cotton ball sheep in elementary school for your parents. Those things were hot.

I do, however, LOVE her shoes and wish they were mine. Yum. Love!


Emily Blunt:
I love this girl. How pretty is she? And don't you feel bad for her for dating a total douche like Michael Bublé? Oh! And the dress! It's so gorge! The bustier looks slightly like a mermaid costume, but I'll forgive her because the colour is so beautiful that you barely notice. Drooling. Love it.

Eva Longhoria:
WHO HEMMED HER DRESS? My mom? By hand? That is totally unacceptable. I know she's short, but I could blind stitch a dress better than that. Oh my god, that's some rough workmanship. Yuck. Totally ruins anything redeeming about it. Looks like a homemade prom dress.

The Daily Yeesh: Kelly Clarkson

I feel like I need to do the same thing I would do to a dog: scold them.

No Kelly Clarkson! No! Bad Kelly!

Loose corsets are not acceptable. No! Nnnno!

The Oscars - more red carpet, party pics and general tomfoolery!

So, as I mentioned, I was pretty sure there was a bunch of missed stuff. And was there ever! In no particular order, here's the rest of what I found this morning while I was supposed to be analyzing sales and working!

Let's go again!

Mary Hart:

Oh Mary! How I wish you were my mother! Imagine what a loving, soft-spoken mother she would be? Dressing age appropriately but being really pretty so you're proud she's your mom. Wow. I have mother issues. Not crazy about the dress, looks like something from the 'Easy Care' section at Dress Barn, but still. Mary Hart!

Phillip Seymour Hoffman:

I kind of like it when people pretend they don't care. But I do not like it when people pretend they don't care and wear knit caps. Come on. Who do you think you are? Not you? Take off your hat. Brush your hair. Join the rest of civilisation.

Nancy O'Dell:

For the record, I also wish she was my mother. But she would only wear that ridiculous hairdo and overly dramatic dress all the time. I'd call her Glam Mom! Hair's really bad though. Yeesh.

Giuliana Rancic:

I have one thing to say: Quizno's. Get her some. Otherwise, love the dress. Hate her verbal diarrhea, but love the dress.

Kevin Kline & Phoebe Cates:

How old is she? She looks the same age as she did in 'Fast Times'. Damn. That dress is fug city, it's like a full length polyester blouse that you find on the super clearance rack at Windsor Fashions, but worse. Wow. Is that glitter?

Meryl Streep & Sofia Loren:

Wow, SL is like cream puff overload. That dress is a bit over the top. But she's such a diva that you have to love it. Hee hee! A choker!

Meryl looks unusually dumpy, but what can you do? That dress is actually very lovely on her, it's just the hair-do that's making her face look rounder than normal. So pretty though, and so nice to see mature, super-talented women instead of just tarts.

Queen Latifa:

Speaking of super talented women, how much do you love her? Obviously not for the majority of her film choices, but her voice! She's also super gorgeous. Those eyes! I love this dress - it's a little over the top, but it's such a beautiful color and makes her skin glow so that you can't not love it.

Jessica Alba, Halle Berry & Kate Bosworth:

This is obviously from one of the parties afterward...Alba looks a little plastered and out of place, although I'm loving that dress. It's hot. I also love Kate Bosworth's dress, it's so glitzy and fantastic. I wish I owned that. I would never feel it was appropriate to wear, but I would try it on in my apartment all the time.

Halle looks super humanly beautiful, as usual. So jealous I'm not her.

Christina Applegate, Gwen Stefani & Jennifer Aniston:

Look, I don't want to judge, but do you get the impression that these 3 might be pot heads? I think it's a widely known (and ignored) thing that Jennifer Aniston is, but seeing them all together like this, doesn't it give you something?

Something about Christina Applegate's natural beauty is making Gwen Stefani look like a clown here. And as you know, I always think Jennifer Aniston is perfect. For the record, I loved her hair. Love the braid. So unexpected and casual.

Kate Beckinsale & Len Wiseman:

Rumour has it that their marriage isn't going well. She doesn't look super happy in this picture, but I wouldn't either if I had my picture taken in front of a giant cake that I want to eat but can't because my dress would split open at the seams.

God, she's so pretty. I love her. Love those earrings...they're a bit big, but for then, for that, perfect.

Sir Ben Kingsley & wife:

Don't you just want to snuggle with him? He looks so cute! I actually really like her dress too. It's not that weird red everyone else was wearing that seemed to blend into the carpet. It's a nice, fiery orange. It's a bit summer/fall for the February event, but what can you do?

Sheryl Crow & Mick Jagger:

I find it odd how much they look like each other in this picture. The way their cheeks pull into their smiles in that creepy way. I feel like he's getting more endearing with age.

Her dress is weird and droopy in the breastal region and it's really bugging me. Too many people had those formed cups at the Oscars and it's not the most flattering look. Clearly.

Daniel Craig:

This man is wearing the hell out of that suit. Foxy. Sure, maybe I cut out his wife. So what? He's hot!

Claire Danes & Hugh Dancy:

Love her shoes. Want them. He's kinda cute and I'm happy they just got engaged. They look cute and in love. I think her dress is better suited for an afternoon tea, but she's always been quirky like that.

Rosario Dawson & Jessica Biel:

Thank god Jessica Biel changed. If I read one more blurb about her dress throwing up on itself, I'm going to barf. It was a really bad dress. I'm not certain this one is much better, but it's definitely better than that thing. Rosario looks stunning as always. She manages to do satin and make it not look frumpy or that she's been sitting in a car for 3 hours. Love them.

Kate Winslet (again):

Just because the last picture I posted didn't do the dress justice. It's really lovely. I love the lace on the side. So pretty.

Jennifer Grey:

Just because I'm not sure why the hell she's there. Seriously. What has she done since 'Dirty Dancing'? Except get so much plastic surgery that no one recognizes her anymore? Still, she looks pretty.

Harvey Weinstein & Georgina Chapman:

She's the designer of Marchesa, super gorge evening wear, he ran Miramax forever and now produces films under his family name with his bro. Some couples are weird...non? She's stunning though. Wow.

Jake Gyllenhall & Reese Witherspoon:

I'm not sure I love the dress with that eye make-up. Makes her look a little rough, almost bruisy. The dress is very pretty, but it's kind of all over the place. And I think having her hair done would have helped. He looks super cute in that tux.

Hugh Jackman & Anne Hathaway:

Apparently everyone was sickened by Anne Hathaway and her totally irritating "I'm theater trained" mantra for the past few months. I'm sure dancing with Hugh Jackman didn't help. Although, I'm curious why Hugh is wearing so much clothing. Wouldn't he have been better received topless? Next to him, she looks positively porcelain. Scary. I love Hugh Jackman!

Nicole Kidman:

I forget where I read it (probably DListed) but someone said that she had to read fast when going over Angelina's nomination because she was going to melt under the spots. Hilarious. I know photos are only a moment in time, but she looks so stiff and miserable there. Ha ha. God I loathe her.

Robert Pattinson:

I watched 'Twilight' after having very much enjoyed the book. I didn't enjoy it in a way that it was good or anything, but I really did like the fact that it sucked me into all those teen fantasies and obsessions we used to have. It was fast too, which helped. Anyhoo, I hated the movie. It was lame. And I didn't love this guy as Edward. I don't think he's hot enough, personally. Something about his eyes.

Anyway, the Oscars had higher ratings than they have the past 4 years or something Sunday, and I'm sure it's from all the Twilight fans watching because they knew their hot piece was going to be on. Hurray. For some reason I always thought his name was 'Patterson'.

Mickey Rourke:

I love that he doesn't care. I love that he wears cowboy boots. I love that he doesn't wash his hair and I love that he has a picture of his favorite doggy (who passed away last week) around his neck. He was great in 'The Wrestler' but I'm happy Sean Penn won. Just seemed like more of a stretch to me.

Madonna:

Despite rumours she'd 'present' her new boyfriend to the world at the Vanity Fair party, she was there all by her lonesome. Looking fresh from the plastic surgeon though. Woo! What's going on in the cheekbone/eye area? Looks plumper than it has in a while. Still, pretty.

Eva Longhoria, Posh & Dita von Teese:

I think Posh's only downfall is that she insists on being friends with Eva Longhoria. Ick. Look at her hair! It looks like a 70's feather cut. I'm not crazy about Posh's long sleeve concoction either. Dita looks positively lovely in that yellow mess. She never wears color, so it cancels out the fact that it's quite 'Big Bird' in proportions.

Jennifer Aniston & Jack Black:

They presented 'Best Animated Film' and apparently through the whole thing the cameras kept going to Angie. God, people love to create drama. Who cares? I love how she's standing with JB, looks like she might be a bit drunk. So beautiful though. And JB is the funniest. Loved 'Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny" and "Nacho Libre". Good stupid laughs, you know. Stupid is fun sometimes.

Robery Downey Jr & his wife:

Am super jealous I'm not her for several reasons: She has fabulous hair, love her dress and she's married to him. Hee hee. Love him! He looks awesome in that suit.

Tilda Swinton:

She's crazy. She's wearing nude and she has the skin tone of...well, of me! She's so bold. How can you not love her? She could wear a garbage can and pull it off!

Tina Fey:

Apparently her part with Steve Martin was the funniest part of the night. I listened to it, it was cute. I love that she's not wearing black. She looks super cute. She has a wicked hourglass figure, and I love that she dresses to show it off. Love her! Love '30 Rock'!

Beyonce:

Wow, just when I thought nothing could be worse than her hideous House of Dereon dress ( I was right!) she wears this mess. Part of me kind of hopes she falls off the side of the planet and we never have to see her again. I find her so obnoxious and in your face annoying.

Carrie Underwood:

Why on earth was she there? I find there were so many of these this year. So many people you didn't get. Also, the side of her dress. Yeesh. Are those pearl necklaces? Hee hee!

The Oscars!

Hurray! The Oscars! To be honest, I kind of forgot that they were on and my hubby and I watched season 7 of CSI. Love that show. Grissom is the best, except for when he has a relationship with Sarah. That grosses me out.

Anyhoo, let's talk about people at the Oscars! Here we go!

Alicia Keys:
Wow, she is posing oddly. I don't know what's going on here, but it is making her look like she has a pot belly. Noooooottttt flattering at all. This lavender-ish color seems to be really popular season, it's nice and fresh, but it looks better on other people. And, can she do anything else with her hair and make-up? It's always the same.

Amanda Seyfried:
Was she in something that wasn't offensive to the eyes/ears this year? Because the only thing I can remember is 'Mamma Mia' and I think we all know that sucked. Is it just me or does she look like the adult version of Dakota Fanning? I don't care for those shoes with that dress...especially with that high-low hem...and the dress, well, it's boring. The color is too close to the carpet and it doesn't seem to fit her very well.

Amy Adams:
This girl is cute. I actually love her dress, I just wish it wasn't in that color. It's kind of bla, especially on a similarly red carpet. I luuurve that neclace. It's gorge. It should probably be mine. I hope Club Monaco or JCrew copies it. It looks like something they'd do. I must say though, in other pics, her eyes look kind of bloodshot, like she hot boxed on the drive in or something.

Angelina Jolie:
Is it wrong that I'm happy Brad Pitt didn't win the Oscar? I heard from too many people that he wasn't that great and after seeing both 'Milk' and 'The Wrestler' I'm glad those 2 swept the awards this season.

Ok, on to Angie...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Sorry. I fell asleep there while she was wearing her 9 millionth black dress of her life. I know they were saying this year's Oscars were supposed to be subdued but she couldn't muster another neutral? COME ON. IT'S ENOUGH ALREADY.

I love that her hair kind of looks like the guy's behind her (to the right). Hee hee.

Anne Hathaway:
I'm glad that Anne seems to have eaten something since the last awards show. Her head looks a lot less lolly and a lot more Hollywood normal. She looks really happy, which is cute. And I love that dress. It might be a bit glitzier than everyone else's, but it's pretty and I love that. The lipstick is good too.

Beyonce:
Ugh. Tell me this is House of Dereon because if any other designer created something this tacky I might barf. It's so obviously designed for her too, because all that solid black on the bodice is to camoflage her curves. And why can't she pose? Her arms always look so Barbie'd. Yuck.

Diane Lane & Josh Brolin:
Some men look good with facial hair. Some don't. I really don't feel JB looks good with his fc. He looks like an old west bartender or something. Diane looks pretty as always, but her dress doesn't seem to be fitting her properly. It looks like it's falling off a bit. And it's got a yawn-y Angelina Jolie vibe to it. Hate the lipstick too. Ick.

Evan Rachel Wood:
I love everything except her hair. That pomp is killing me. Dress is lovely and I'm jealous she's that pale and still can wear it. I would blend into the dress and end up looking like human curtains. She's cute. I hope she has a long red carpet life. She tries hard. I like that.

Frieda Pinto:
I love the color. It's really beautiful. But I'm really unsure about the one sleeve. It seems pretty unnecessary and could have definitely been lovely without. It's hard to say anything bad though, she's just so pretty.

Heidi Klum:
Heidi has shown up 2 years in a row in something red, satin and sweeping. It's a bit much. And this year I feel she looks like an extra from Star Trek's Space Ball episode. The hair is too sleek, the dress too angular.

Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer:
I'm really disappointed in the wimp out and cannot believe she didn't walk down the red carpet looking like that. If I looked like that I'd never sleep and I'd be walking up and down the streets of Montreal doing the pageant wave. Seriously. She looks so petite. It's really cute. Sad at her though. Yes, I said at her.

Jessica Biel:
Um. Most of you know I love her. I really do. She has a hot ass body and great lips and normally looks a lot better than this. I don't know what's going on with her hair, or if it's an attempt to look more casual to downplay the glam, but it looks like mine after I have had a mid afternoon nap because I drank too much while eating lunch on a terrasse. Yikes. And the dress is very unpleasant. Very. It's boring, yellowish and sateen. Ick.

Kate Winslet:
I am so happy she finally got an Oscar. If she hadn't won I think there would have been a riot. Seriously. I'm not loving the awkwardness of the neckline, but I'll take what I can get. The color is simple and lovely and I like the lace overlay on the left because it's unexpected. She's so pretty. I love her. Can we make her the Skankopolis Goddess?

Leslie Mann:
I'm not sure why they let her attend the Oscars...I mean, I think the think she's most remembered for is the scene in '40 year-old Virgin' when she is wasted driving home and then barfs in his mouth. Right?

She's quite pretty and I do love the dress, but still. Let's be a bit more picky with the guest list please. There are a lot of people I would have preferred to see over this woman.

Lisa Rinna:
I'm quite certain the word 'natural' doesn't ever pass through Lisa Rinna's head. I wouldn't be surprised, actually, if she wasn't fully clear on what the word means. When your hair looks like you just took the curlers out, your lips look like someone's ass is definitely injected into them and your breasts look like grapefruits on your ridiculously tanned body, I'm pretty sure that word isn't in your vernacular. She scares me.

Maria Menounos:
I think people might call me crazy, but I don't find this girl particularily pretty. I find her cute, don't get me wrong, but stunning? Pretty? Beautiful? No. Cute. Definitely cute. The dress is a little contrived and I'm not crazy about the boning on the bodice, but the bottom is nice. Just a little much.

Marion Cotillard:
She looks so pretty. And nice. Doesn't she look like she would be sweet and offer you gum? I like this dress a lot more than last year's mermaid-y thing. Aww. I want to be her pen pal. Ha ha! Pen pal!

Marisa Tomei:
Oh thank heavens she improved from that weirdo pirate look of last time. I love this dress. It's gorge. She looks so nice and relaxed too, love her hair. Very nice. Lovely. Love her. Look at all that panelling at the hem! Ohhh, the workmanship alone is making me drool. Wow. I wish I could afford something that took that much workmanship. Mmm. Love this.

Melissa George:
You know those things that come off of dandelions when they turn white? This is what I picture they look like close up. I think they did that already in Fantasia, like, 60 years ago. No? Also, who is this? What is she in? Why is she invited? I'm confused. Hold me.

Miley Cyrus:
Above I talked about Marion Cotillard's dress from last year. This dress looks like what would have happened to it if someone wanted to rip it off but not be too obvious. And of course not as nice. This is fug. Especially that belt. Why is she there? I don't understand the invitees. Weird. Too young. NEXT!

Natalie Portman:
Remember earlier I mentioned that lavender-y color? Here it is done with a bubblegum pink tinge. And it looks better. I love the beading on the bodice (I have said that word 3 times already. I never say that). I love her subtle hair and make-up. I just plain love her, actually. She's the best.

Penelope Cruz:
This dress looks vaguely like some really fancy curtains my nana had in her formal living room. It was the one my dad and grandfather weren't allowed to go in. They were always tinkering with something and dirty. I'm glad she won, because she was apparently very good, but this dress is really not my thing. Too princessy. Relax a bit.

Robin Wright-Penn & Sean Penn:
I'm so glad he won! He was so good in 'Milk'. So good. She looks beautiful as always and will forever be the beautiful Princess Buttercup to me. I like her hair too. It's kind of 70's fun.

Sarah Jessica Parker:
What is this? I don't like it! Since when does she have enough boobs to have cleavage like that? This looks like a costume in Lord of The Rings? One of the elvish people. Matthew Broderick looks nauseous and I wouldn't be surprised if it was from this dress. Yuck.

Taraji P Henson:
I'm not sure if that's how you write her name, but I love this woman. Love her hair, love her glowing skin and this is the first mermaid dress of the night that I've liked. Love it. I think this is my #1. Or tied for it with Marisa Tomei.

Vanessa Hudgens:
Rumour has it she threw a fit when she arrived because her "boyfriend" stepped on her train. Hey, hissy fit, go home. You're 14. Who invited you anyway? Ugh. Also, I hate this dress.

Virginia Madsen:
Lainey (laineygossip.com) made a joke that she thought this woman was Mary Hart. Ha ha. Could die laughing. Also, now can't differentiate in my head. Looks like Heidi Klum's dress, non?

I'm quite certain I'll be posting again because I feel like I missed out on a lot of important people...