My birthday celebration

Ok, I'm just going to drop a quick note because I'm on vacation and painfully hung over, but I couldn't wait to tell you what happened last night.

We are visiting family in Vancouver and we went out to dinner to celebrate my 27th birthday yesterday. After dinner we headed to a club called BarNone and I went immediately to the washroom to break the seal.

When I came back up I went to meet my family and friends at the bar and this guy was standing in my spot. I was a little annoyed until he turned around...it was Nick Lachey! He's REALLY short in person. He went back to his table (about 5 feet from ours) to sit with Vanessa Minnillo, Drew Lachey, Cheryl Burke (from Dancing with the Stars) and a couple of other people.

I had several more drinks and then went over to talk to them. They were very nice considering they had a drunk stranger attacking them (and had many more prior to that). Strangely, they left immediately after I talked to them. Ha ha, I was so drunk.

Later, on the dance floor Joey Fatone was right behind me. He's also pretty short. I talked to him for a bit (suavely pretended that I didn't know who he was - really was not suave though). Then HE walked away too. Wow. I rock.

Anyhoo, that was my night. Unfortunately, they didn't allow anyone to take pictures and the bouncers were throwing out anyone who did from afar.

My cat's hot-ass claws

Isn't she fabulous???

Britney, Britney, Britney

Physically, looking great. Fashion-wise. Yikes-o-rama.

Woman, call a stylist, because a knotted shirt is not acceptable and you can't walk around with all those cheap-ass wigs. Where is she getting them? K-Mart? Holy god they're bad.

Body's looking great though. Keep it up Brit.

Stylist.

Tara Reid makes me barf

I'm sure she makes you barf too, I'm not trying to be selfish. Sorry!

Ew! This picture makes me want to go to the gym.

If only she hadn't gotten that lipo...she would look pretty great.

Today's 'who cares?' news: Jerry & Rebecca get married

Um, but really, who cares?

Remember 'My Secret Identity'? That Jerry starred in? That was a great show. Actually, it was terrible, but I remember the 80's with fondness occaisionally.

Congrats Jerry & Rebecca. Jerry, cut your hair.

Gerard Butler is nice to look at

Have you seen '300'? You should. It's good. Ok, yes, it's a bit gory and more of a boy-flick, but it's pretty darn good.

I will also let you know that there are many fit boys in it, so if you were having a ladies night, you might play it in the background. I'm sure your friends would enjoy their glisteny upper bodies.

He's cute. I like the powder blue polo. Nice against the tan.

Michelle Pfeiffer is an android

And a hot one at that!

Seriously, this woman hasn't aged since 'The Fabulous Baker Boys' in 1989. My god she is gorgeous.

She is elegant and beautiful. All Hollywood actresses should aspire to age like her. Wow. Wow. Wow.

That's a fabu dress too.

Carmen Electra is back!

Love the dark hair. Hated the blonde. I'm really happy.

I am also a little sad that she and Joan Jett, who were reportedly (I love that word - you can say ANYTHING) a couple have not reportedly (yahhhh) broken up because of Carmen's demanding schedule.

Um. I personally think if they did go out and break up it had to be about something else, because what the hell does Carmen Electra do? I know she goes to a lot of stuff, but she doesn't HAVE to. I don't even think she has a job...

Rose O'Donnell gives me cancer

I know it's not funny to joke about stuff like that, but I really think that she might give me cancer!

I mean, is she really wearing lace-trimmed bike shorts (obviously stolen from my drawer back in 1991), with a lace blouse and yellow Crocs?

Have I mentioned how much I hate Crocs? I won't get into it too intensely right now, because it takes a lot of energy out of me and I have a full day ahead, but I really hate them.

I will admit, begrudgingly, that they are ridiculously comfortable. I had to go outside at my hubby-to-be's family cottage recently and I slipped on my father in law's for the 30 second event and WOWEEE, like a cloud.

But ugly. Really ugly.

Vanessa Minnillo - not so hot without make-up

Ok fine, she's still below-the-neck hot, but that face is nothing to write home about, unless you're writing a mean letter about a plain faced girl you'd date, but only if she wore a paper bag. I don't know where that came from. I mean, I don't even date girls.

It's kind of all squished into the middle of her head...I've always maintained that with enough make-up anyone can be stunningly gorgeous.

That bathing suit is cute! There. I said something positive.

Ooh, if anyone can find those hot tub pics of them, send them, because no authorities EVER check this site and I could probably get away with posting them.

That is unless, of course, authorities are reading this right now. Ahem.

Sarah Jessica Parker and one of the reasons I hate her

I don't know what it is about this woman that I hate so much...but for the rest of my life I will list reasons as to why I think I might.

For instance, this outfit!

BITCH! Are you for real???

PS - Bonus hate fact: I also think Bitten is a piece of shit collection that my cat could have designed better...but my cat is seriously chic...her acrylic claw covers match her collar! Oh my god, I am lame.

Hilary Swank's boyfriend looks like a pig

And I don't mean the kind of pig that's grabbing other women's asses when she's not looking. I mean an actual pig. The mammal. From the farm. Where bacon comes from.

I know this isn't nice, because they look um, vaguely happy (uh, is it just me or do they look miserable?) and I'm sure he's a really nice guy, but come on! He looks like he should star in Charlotte's Web!

Oh my - Harry Potter wearing a leather vest

This poor guy. He's totally going to suffer from Haley Joel Osment/Jonathan Lipniki syndrome. He's never going to be able to outgrow his character. You can't play someone in SEVEN movies and think you'll be able to move on seamlessly...it doesn't matter how many nude plays you do in London's theatre district.

It also apparently doesn't matter how many gay bars you're a waiter at...that really would be the only excuse for wearing a vest like that.

Nice eyes though, I bet he gets good tips because of those peepers.

Lindsay Lohan - rocking the drug bloat

So, our friend Lindsay, the Skank Extraordinaire, has been in rehab for a while now...probably just short of 2 months. That's fantastic, because the stuff she was pulling before she went in was wacko x10.

Last weekend, or even the weekend before (sorry, I'm on summer time and I'm not caring that much anymore) was her birthday and she was celebrating at a rented malibu home. Is it just me or is she looking a little like Brandon Davis?

That's definitely some drug bloat she's rocking there...and I hope that's not Samantha Ronson, her rumoured girlfriend, because I think it's quite clear she's the one selling the info to the tabloids...DJ'ing can't pay that much.

Um, I also hate these shoes:

Although there is much less bloat in this photo (1 week before the above photo)

Val Kilmer ate his former self

Seriously. What's with his physique? That's the best way I could put it, but let's be frank, this isn't quite what I would normally call a physique.

Yikes Val.

How funny would it be to see him try to squeeze into the Batman suit now?