Getty Images

Ok, so I was perusing Getty Images the other day and I happened upon the above photo on the index page. What the fuck is this? Is this Winnie the Pooh in drag? Is this what the chick they're replacing Christopher Robin with is going to look like? What is this? Someone, for the love of god, please explain this to me.

It's just like when I went to the Gugenheim and there was this exhibit of a flourescent light on a 37° angle. What? That is not fucking art, that is a mockery of art.

I'm going to go eat more stuffing.

Foundation as lipstick

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY????????????????????????????????

Why does this happen? WHO thinks this looks good? I don't care how avant-garde this make-up artist is trying to be, this NEVER looks good. God, not to mention the fact that Tara Reid is really not attractive.

Bleh.

Pic Source [HollywoodRag]

He ISN'T gay?

This is Ricky Martin and his "brother" doing some exercise on the beach.

Look, I don't know how long I can pretend to believe that this guy is straight. What is his issue? Women will still think he's hot if he's a mo. Look at George Michael, Ian McKellan, KD Lang (hee hee)...

Anyway, I think this is how you say "Merry Christmas" in Ricky Martin's home town.
[Pic Source: JustJared]

Britney Baby-weight Spears-Federline

Lookin' like a heffer...

Hope you're out buying some cruising outfits...

Get on the treadmill Brit, your husband is no good, you need to get hot and latch on to Nick Lachey.

[Pic Source: HollywoodRag]

Where is this bitch's upper lip?

I never noticed how much of an unlip this woman has. Seriously. That's weird.

Yes, one might say we should commend her for not getting collagen like every other slut out there, but I am not that person. Everything else on her body is fake, her boobs look like cantaloupes. Why not gimme a little pout?

And since when did they have kids? I know they're broken up, but what the hell? I used to love that guy (David Charvet) on Baywatch when it was cool to watch Baywatch (when was that?). I'm a little nostalgic-jealous at the unlipper.

Say it with me kids: Col-a-gen PLEASE!

[Pic Source: HollywoodRag]

A Family Christmas!

Just thought that you might want an inside view of my family's Christmas:

Sometimes my uncle gets a little silly and takes out the guitar, we dread it every year. He always wants to sing Air Supply.

This year it got worse. My uncle bought my aunt a drum set for Christmas, now she thinks she's Phil Collins, or even worse, Lars from Metallica.

My grandfather got totally pissed. He totally hit me after I took this picture.

This is him 2 hours later, after several cocktails, telling my uncle to shut the fuck up. After this he broke my camera. I was able to salvage the memory card.

Pants tucked into boots

IF PEOPLE DO NOT STOP DOING THIS I AM GOING TO GO ON A MURDEROUS RAMPAGE!!!

Neigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This bitch gets on my nerves. Why the shit is she famous? Oh yah, cause her horse-toothed sister is a teen queen.

Her likeness to Sarah Jessica Parker annoys me. All she needs is a Halloween mole on her face and she's Carrie (aka My Little Pony Parker - MK, you rock).

Are we supposed to look at this picture and pretend she's not ugle because her hair is windblown and her boobs are out?

Neigh! I will not accept her simply because she's taken out her tata's

Ugly ho(rse)!

This is your face on Tom Cruise

Ahh, remember back in the day when Dawson and Joey were fighting the fact that they loved each other? They would speak in run-on sentences full of words no other teenager in America would know...as if they ran the script through the Microsoft Word thesaurus before printing?

I never understood the appeal of Katie Holmes (or Kate, as Tom would prefer you call her). I even remember the drunken tape of her flashing her boobs and I still didn't get it.

I figured she had a girl-next-door kind of appeal, but I, personally, couldn't get over her stroke-mouth and lazy eye. Also, she really annoyed me in 'Go'.

In retrospect, now that I see what TC has done to her, she was cute. Was.

It's like that adored 80's anti-drug ad, "This is your brain (show egg), this is your brain on drugs (crack egg into frying pan, or similar)"

Katie: THIS WAS YOUR FACE (see above), THIS IS YOUR FACE ON TOM CRUISE!!!! Please run as fast as you can away from that couch-jumping, cheesy proposal making, scientology freak!

B with an ARF

Is it just me or does this picture totally make you want to throw up? I don't think there is anything this girl can do to make me ever think she is attractive. She's so fucking greasy and gross.

Gah, I am totally going to puke

Team Lachey

If there was a TEAM LACHEY shirt from Kitson, I would buy it.

It seems that Jessica Simpson got miraculously hideous the MOMENT they announced their divorce. Gotta say, bitch is hot. She has a KILLER body, normally magnificent hair and a normally nice face.

If she's going to be out and about trying to fuck everything that walks, she should try harder to NOT look like her father in drag. Hey, wait a sec...maybe it is Joe in drag.

Seriously though, what the shit is with her fucking face on this night?

TEAM LACHEY

The Muffy - Eyeliner as lipliner

We heard this week that Eminem will be getting back together with his ex-wife/mother-of-his-child/gross whore.

Now, can we please discuss this bitch's lipliner? When I was in high school there was this girl who used to wear brown eyeliner as lip liner, we called that look 'The Muffy.' Every picture I've ever seen of this woman, she's wearing this atrocious lip liner.

Kudos for multi-tasking your make-up routine by using one pencil for several parts of your face, but you look like a dirty skank. She's with/married/divorced from/reuniting with one of the most successful artists in Hip Hop, bitch couldn't hit a Bobbi Brown and get some tips? Fuck. So gross.

The Muffy

I am jealous of my sister and I have gross hair!

Why would anyone intentionally do their hair like this? B/c of my layers, my curly hair sometimes does do this, but I FIX IT before I leave the house.

I call it the 'Cocker Spaniel'

To give her credit though, her face doesn't look that horrid. But she is spackled w/ make-up

Someone's face is looking haggard

Wow, holy drug ravaged face Batman!

No wonder she cancelled on Regis & Kelly.

It's not normal to look this horrible when you're 19, this is obviously from excessive drug use.

It's really not good.

[Pic source: Egotastic]

Things that make you go HMMM - part 2

Ho!
Ho!
Ho!

Way
to
look
like
a
moron,
Mariah.

Why, oh why?

There are times when I am thankful that fashion is cyclical. For instance, I bought some wedge shoes several years ago and refused to throw them out. Low and behold, they came back into fashion this year. Yipee!

BUT, I do object to certain trends returning: leg warmers, bell bottoms, head bands, mock turtlenecks, vests, moon boots and especially leggings.

I work in the clothing industry, so we are well aware of the trends and what is going on. I was very depressed to hear that London is presently PACKED w/ leggings, mini skirts and hot shorts. I am saddened to learn that after I lived through it once in the early 90's, I will have to go through it again.

Here is an example of the abomination that is leggings:

They make me feel like popping in my Extreme 'More Than Words' tape and kissing my boyfriend in a treehouse for 10 seconds. Timed.

Oh, and for the LOVE OF GOD why are people still wearing white pants at this time of year?!?!?

Black Eyed Peas p'd off us Canadians...

Listen to this little tid bit from Canadian Gossip Goddess Lainey:

'I thought I would tell you the scoop on the drama surrounding the Black Eyed Peas' performance at Sunday's Grey Cup. Apparently the Peas are notoriously difficult to deal with, pulling diva stunts and producing riders that would make Usher blush.

Three days before the Grey Cup, the Peas called to say they would not be performing, as they had a busy schedule and this show was simply not a priority. Cue mad scramble, calls to managers, legal talk, etc., after which the Peas call to say fine, they will be coming after all, but they will be flying commercial and not by private jet, so there's no guarantees they will be able to make it there for showtime (kinda crucial considering what time showtime is in this scenario) since they have to deal with the airline's schedule. Cue more scrambling, calls to airlines, mad last-minute bookings, etc.

So the Peas arrived in Vancouver the night before the game, and then called from the hotel to say that Fergie was exhausted (read: Fergie has soiled the bottoms of all the outfits in wardrobe) and they will not be performing. After some final mad dashing around, and the ultimate presentation by the group of a brand-new rider (the featured item on which happened to be copious quantities of Cristal) the Peas were back on.

After, that is, using stand-ins to rehearse (primarily for blocking purposes with the stage, camera angles, etc.), and insisting on using back-up tracks (not wise in a stadium set-up, as Ashlee Simpson could probably tell you). I caught the performance on TV, and I can tell you, in terms of quality of performance they were certainly not worth the trouble. And you had to love the way Fergie's shorts were belted around the legs, and the belts kept riding up and squeezing her thighs into all kinds of interesting bulges, as well as giving her baggy bubble-butt. Oh well, at least they seemed to stay dry, which means in Fergie's mind it was probably a banner day indeed.'

Well, at least she didn't piss herself

Things that make you go HMMM

So, I was reading my favourite blog today, DListed (props MK, you sexy bitch), and I ran across this photo.

What the fuck does Tom Cruise think he's doing sending out THAT shitty movie for OSCAR consideration. Best actor! That's fucking rich! Fucking Tim Robbins deserves an award for not bludgeoning TC to death.

This man is an abomination, and his sham of a marriage/baby is even worse. Death to him. Stupid Xenu. Bleh.