The man is a god

He is so fucking hot. God. Damn.

KFed Grosses it up, hardcore

Seriously. This guy should have a website explaining how to be disgusting. He obviously has the chops.

How about a little Frizz-ease? Would that kill you?

[Source: JustJared]

Jessica Simpson Channels the 80's

Ha Ha! Is it just me or does this jacket totally remind you of 'Can't Buy Me Love', that wicked film from 1987?

Winnie Cooper - 2005 edition

Remember this bitch?

I hated her. My dad and I used to watch this show together and I always was so jealous of her. She was so mean to Kevin. All he wanted to do was love her and she was always playing with his heart, dating meat-heads and just being a generally uppity bitch.

Remember Madeline? "Voulez vous du beurre?" She was fucking hot. Kevin should have stuck with her instead of forever lusting after this frigid bitch.

I would have even preferred to have seen Kevin and Paul get together, but I'm sure that wouldn't have gone over well in that day and age. Nor would Wayne have let that pass. Dick. Let Kevin and Paul be the lovers they've always yearned to be.

Anyway, I happened to stumble upon some pics of Winnie Cooper (Danica McKellar) recently, and I find it strange how much she seems to not have changed at all. Except for the lady parts. Check out her face. It's weird.

Wow, I totally did not notice those hideous shoes at first glance. She should rethink those. Seriously.

Mimi is on Ellen

Mimi is on Ellen right now and she's looking large! To be honest, I'm actually happy that she isn't stick thin and perpetuating everything that is wrong with society right now, but she's trying to look thin. I wish she would embrace the fact that she is a beautiful, curvy woman.

Now, The second thing I noticed is that she totally has a moustache! It's all there and everything. Now, I'm no imagery genius, so I couldn't get one of her on Ellen right now, but I did get this picture from the other night and you can clearly see the shadow above her lip. It's kinda surprising considering she was an esthetician before she became a singer...

Anyway, enough Mimi bashing. She's hot. I'm glad that she heavier, but I wish she would stop sucking in her stuff. She's not fooling anyone and it just makes her look uncomfortable.

Matthew McConaughey IS the sexiest man alive

People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 2005

Although I have always thought so, it is now confirmed (by People magazine) that MM is in fact, the sexiest man alive. He's rugged, he's sexy and he makes a bathrobe look good.

He also makes me wish I could be a Soniccare toothbrush or newspaper in a next life. Or surf shorts...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Look at his sexy, gleaming teeth and tanned skin. God DAMN he is fine!

Mmm, the places I would put those hands...

Hot with the Hibachi. Mmm, I'd love to be around when he pitches a tent...

He rocks a pink shirt. WHAT A MAN!

In honour of him, ladies, let's go home and make love to our men.

When Fashion Goes Wrong

I will give this girl props up and down for her avant-garde style and her much-copied look, but this strapless cat suit ensemble is OUT OF CONTROL.

One thing I have preached, to anyone who will listen, recently is that not all fashion deserves to be cyclical. This goes for:

- LEG WARMERS
- PANTS SUITS
- LEGGINGS
- STIRRUP PANTS
- POWER JACKETS FOR LADIES
- TERRY HEADBANDS
- OVERALLS W/ BELTS
- MOON BOOTS

The list can potentially go on and on and on

Although I think Sienna Miller is hot like hot, I do not like what she is wearing and it does nothing for her but make her look like a tard...with wide hips and short legs...

Simpsons looking a little rough

Wow, Nick and Jess aren't looking so hot in this pic.

He looks completely horrible, like he just went to a 3-day rave and he's coming down hard off some crazy E and she looks like she applied her eyeliner with her feet.

Wow, if this is what a happy marriage looks like, I would prefer to be miserable.

Swoon!

Oh my god. He is so goddam hot.

Lindsay Lohan looks hot

I am totally loving her look here. I would, personally, remove the retarded 80's poser from my company, but she can make her own choices.

I must also mention that her skin is looking quite orange. If I can get a good fake tan in Montreal for $20...CANADIAN, why can't this bitch get a nice Mystic Tan or a frigging airbrush tan that doesn't make her look like a representative for Sunkist?

Love the blouse/vest combo (oh my god, I'm going to regret this sentence in 10 years), love the glasses, love the hair and love the super 70's jeans...

Love her. I'm so glad she's not piss blond anymore.

Poor Nicole

Poor Nicole Richie. One of her friends died.

Ok, now for the insensitive, mean part:
- Maybe she died b/c they had the same diet and the other one couldn't sustain herself on coffee and crystal meth
- Maybe she died when she saw Nicole in that top. At no point, in anyone's life or death, should that top EVER be worn. Whoever made it should die.
- Maybe it was her drug dealer and that's why she's crying.

Ok, now I feel bad. But that top is DAMN ugly

Jennifer Aniston is much too thin

I love this woman. I have loved her since 'the Rachel' and I think I may always love her. Her hair is fabulous, her boobs are fantastic (clothed, nude her nipples are kinda gross), her skin is gorgeous and she normally has an amazing body. But I will say this, she's too damn skinny here. It's gross.

Her left arm looks so sick in this photo, and although she has very nice legs, they are so veiny and tendony and scary.

I will always love you Jen, but please eat a sandwich or something

Lindsay Lohan's Belt is Retarded

This is joke, right? I love her, but this just looks silly

Cynthia Nixon's Girlfriend is Fugly

I have to admit that I have always thought that Cynthia Nixon was the least attractive member of the cast of Sex & The City, but I don't think that means that she should be forced to date this beast.

If not for the fact that she has enormous grandmother breasts, I would be sure that this is a very unattractive man with CN. Unless, it is a man, and he has the same condition that Bob from Fight Club had...

I bet Cynthia Nixon is saying to that guy, "No she is not the father of my child! Check out these huge hot tits!"

Things I love - part 6

Marky Mark:
Now, there is a condition to this thing that I love. Namely the fact that I only love him circa 1993, when he was bursting with muscles and hotness. I yearn for Marky Mark, not the current Mark Wahlberg of skanky facial hair and marriage. 1993 was the year he came out with his workout video, the CK ads and when he generally did not wear a shirt.

Hot. Please enjoy the rest of these pics:

This man is a BEAST

How on earth did Jennifer Lopez marry this vampire? This guy is like a cross between a reanimated corpse and a quasi-successful drug dealer. He is the worst. I don't know how she can sleep with that thing next to her at night. He's fucking gross.

To be honest, this is actually a good picture of him. He looks less like he's on a crack bender. Poor woman. Damn you Ben Affleck!

Jessica Simpson is Hotness

She may be dumb, she may be a slut, but bitch has a hot-ass bod. Including her ass.

Here she is, loooking damn lovely in a dress that could easily be mistaken for the chair in my great aunt's living room, but she totally rocks it.

I realize that her job is to look hot, but no one ever said it was fair. Why isn't that my job? Oh, right. I don't have those boobs. Or that voice. Or her father. Damn lazy father. I'm going to call him and give him a piece of my mind.

But seriously, she is hot. I want to be her best friend (sorry Z) so I can hang out in her pool and her closet. Oh gross, just drooled on my keyboard at the thought of having access to her clothes. Gahh. This is depressing.

Cameron Diaz is a man

I hate her. I don't really know why, but something drives me to despise this woman.

I love her coat, it's awesome, but I really find that she looks like a man in (poor) drag in these pics. They're taken at the In Her Shoes premiere in London. Granted, I sifted through a lot of them to pick the ugliest, but I'm trying to illustrate a point. Point being: TRANNY.

Her lipstick looks like a dollar store special and her face is just hid(eous).

Gross.

She is an embarrassment to all the trannies out there who look damn good.

Things I love - part 5

Rock and Republic Jeans:

My boyfriend bought me some Rock & Republic Jeans this past weekend. First of all, how cute is he? I know it's a little shallow, but it was really nice to be pampered and spoiled like that. Made me feel really good.

Shameless plug: check out his store on eBay

But I digress. These jeans are so fucking hot! The denim is a great quality with a really hot wash. I love the crystals on the back pockets of the jeans in the R's.

They fit SO WELL. Very flattering. I don't have much of an ass and I was told y'day that they give me good butt. God damn, what can't they do? Well, that's retarded, but you get the idea.

Anyway, I know they're kind of pricey (they go from ~$125 US to $190 US) but they're totally worth it. I always mocked premium denim, but now I'm in love.

The pair below is the pair I have. Love them! Hot.

Fergie's not looking so hot

My friend MK posted a quote from Fergie recently stating that she has never had plastic surgery.

In my first post I showed a photo before and a photo after. She really shouldn't lie...

Here is a picture of her at the premiere of 'Dirty', she looks dreadful. Her hair looks like she just came out of the Clampett's outdoor shower and her outfit makes her look like a low-rate tranny from middle America. Jacket sucks, skinny pants suck even more and, really, could you do us a favour and throw on some make-up?

I used to have a lady-crush on her...but in the past year she's really crapped it up. She still has a super-hot body, but she is really gross lately.

Not to mention the peeing herself incident

Please Fergie, bring down the brows and be hot again!!!

The Joke's On YOU!

Here I am at the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, but I'm really here to stare at Markus Shenkenburg and Lenny Kravitz's asses!

Some things are just funny

You know how sometimes you see something and it strikes you? The moment I saw this I was ecstatic...thank god someone else notices this shit.

Enjoy:

Paris helps us out

Paris Hilton provides a public service by displaying on her t-shirt exactly where one can catch an STD from her. Thanks Paris! You and your lazy eye rock!

Things I love - part 4

Matthew McConaughey:
Some people are hot, then there are other people who are hot AND get arrested playing bongos in the middle of the night while incredibly stoned. This man is super hot. If there was a religious sect that prayed to him, I'd be there.

I read recently that he is turned on by food. I will turn every part of my body into food if he will come and do me. Hee hee. Dirty.

Bai Ling is tacky

This girl is a fantastic trashy mess. Let's all praise Bai Ling and her sausage nips! Go Bai, go!

Tom Cruise really not good

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes... do you believe it?

Personally, I think it's a publicity stunt. From the couch jumping days of early summer I have found this a bit strange. There are too many weird stories about how it began, the interviews he put other starlets (Scarlett Johansen) through... the whole thing is very weird.

There is something so strange about how all her friends and family claim that she has abandoned her prior beliefs because of Scientology. She has a 'handler'/best friend who follows her around all the time. It's all very strange...

Anyway, this is all to say that my opinion is that this relationship is complete bull. I have no opinion on whether he is actually the father, but I do have an opinion about the way he looks in the above photo. NO GOOD.

Way to look like a schoolgirl Tom. Flush! Hey! There goes your fan base. Way to go excellent PR team

Madonna has an insanely hot body

Madonna's body is SO fucking hot.

No, this type of hard body is not exactly to everyone's taste, but you have to admit that for her age, she looks goddam amazing. And she just fell off a horse and broke her shit!

She looks awesome. Her legs are incredible.

Way to go Madge. Now, do me a favour and pluck your daughters' monobrow

Thanks

Things I love - part 3

System of a Down:
Considering my appearance, most people find it odd that I like System of a Down so much. They really kick ass. Seriously. They're these crazy Armenien guys who don't think that they're political, but they really say some awesome shit. Plus, they have kick ass hair, and this guy has the most awesome hair.

BYOB is an awesome song. Listen to it.

Justin Timberlake is in love with Cameron Diaz...unfortunately

Much to my dismay it seems that Justin Timberlake is intent on wasting his youth on nasty ol' Cameron Diaz. Although I'm sure she has 1 or 2 redeeming qualities, I find her hideous-unless-caked-in-make-up face, tom-boy bullshit and moronic foot-in-mouth manner of speaking hard to get over.

They look so happy up there that I want to barf a little. I long for the days when Britney and Justin were the cutest pop star couple around. Now all my dreams have been crushed by Cam the man and KFed the useless loser.

Oh celebrities, why do you hurt me so?

Ashanti - is this real?

Have you seen this supposed photo of Ashanti that has been floating around the net? It's really gross if it's actually her.

It's possible, but Photoshop is also a very powerful tool...hmm, that gives me so many ideas. I wish I had more time

Fergie, Fergie, Fergie

I used to love this girl. She was so hot. She still has a kickin' bod, but after peeing herself and the excessive eyebrow lifts, she's really dropping in my books. My boyfriend even eliminated her from his Celebrity 5 list. I hope she's not too depressed. He's hot.

These bangs are OUT OF CONTROL!!! If you want bangs, for the love of god, cut some, don't pull part of your pony tail forward and pin it onto your forehead!

What's the deal with her? As soon as she gets a trendy-ish hair do, she sticks with it for, like, a month. Remember the braids of recent months?

And is it just me or do those earrings make you think you should be addressing her as Shaniqua or Lashaunda?

Those Scientologists sure can par-tay!

Found this hilarious picture this morning on Canadian gossip goddess Lainey's site (click at right, she's hilarious).

There are so many things wrong with this photo. It makes me fearful of getting old. Will I dance with my husband in unison like that? How is it that their hands are in the exact same position? It's eerie. Did Xenu tell them to dance like morons? (PS - she's so copying him, but that's ok, b/c he's John Travolta! I would too).

Is that Jared from Subway playing the guitar in front of them?